Dreams n DREAMS !!!!!

 there are dreams n there are dreams that you no matter what cant get over !!!!! 

again one of those things that you least think or even dont think of and then the most bizarre almost kinda dream happens....

last few weeks been smthing there is this reality that you struggle through then there is that world of Him that you sleep with and to...... smthing anything to everything bout that world is all that you love live breathe - Him...

like that part of the world again you dont wanna wake up from....

and then facing the actual day after thewaking up is another story !!!!

like two worlds living that stark different from the other.....

THAT much of him you wake up to now and then to go through the day thinking taking it to be just another dream is smthing you just cant learn the art of it !!

to just ignore or let it be and take it to be just another dream cause thats how HOW you felt lived him through the dream !! like he was there for REAL and not just another dream !!!!!

this one too today was the most bizarre one.... youve lived a similar one before too but this one felt sooooooooooo real like it dint feel like you were dreaming....

who nai hota charlie smthings cause thats only how it could be you wish you could maybe then you would get to see him meet him for real !!!!!!!!

it was some pooja soon you see another hand holding yours under by the way it looks or even more importantly by the way it feeeeeeels wasnt his.....

like that touch troubles you that BAD ki you look to your side and see smbody else like again its blur but wasnt him.....

and that weird ajeeb feeeling like you were porlly getting married n was some pooja random one holding your hand and the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay that visual of somebody else holding your hand troubles you..... and that one dooor somewhere like you could hear some sound again the waaaaay it from far calms smthing down and that neeed to get away for a bit and you make some excuse bout changing smthing it was..... walk to some place dark like it was room or shack kinda thing and you just stand there with that THAT MUCH him rushing through you..... and that saaaaaaaaaaaaaame feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel of his presence like youcould just feeeeeeeeeel his presence rushing through you..... every single time years now be it for real or in the dreams like you could feeeel his presence inside you whoo hotaaa nai charlie smthing everything chnges inside you like ekdum seee kuch dhadaaaaaaam bolkeee sab change ho gayaaa andaar he that kindaa beauuuutiful shift in you... and you start to look around and there he was standing a lil door and just looks at you this time he wasnt smiling for the firs ttime..... cause that one smileeeeeeeeeee tinggggggggggg bolkeee on him the sec he sees you like that one standard smileeeeeeeee of his ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa always been there since the very start like one look at you and tingggggg bolkeeeeee he smileeeees ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa THAT one smile i saaaaaaaaaaaaaaay bas gayiiiiiiiiiiii wooich usssiiiiii pe pooori ki poooooooooori gayiiii !!!!!!!!

soooooo yahhhhh this time for the first time he wasnt smiling and the waaaaaaaaaaaaay it troubles shakes you up to just see him look at you the way he was looked restless like that restless.....

and that same feeeeeeeling of being drawn to him with that one invisible string.....

and you runnn to him and the waaaaay he holds you awaaay......... like holding you completely awaaay and not just hugging you like lierally holds you pooora ka pooora away that one feeeeeel that saaaame hug of his after a long time that same hug used to be like !!!!!!!!!

that same feeeeeel in that one hug like he was literally holding you away from it all and closest to him kinda holding you awaay !!!!

terku maloom mein aati nai and the waaaaaaaaaay he nods awaay over your shoulder !!!!

some sound somebody calling you over and you instead walk along and away from it all the waaay he tries to walk you out from there through some trees or smthing and you culd still hear those sounds from behind calling you out and it was your mom waking you up..... the beauuuuuuuty of it was his music still playing on the laptop as you couldnt sleep earlier and you play the beret playlist and try to sleep.... his music still playing and you smiling cause you could stilllll feeeeeeeeeel that one hug of his over your arms and  your mom standing telling you there was some call for you from the manager or smthing it was.... like you could see she was talking but you couldnt hear a thing the mind that beauuuuuuuuuuuuutifully high still high on him....

again that same you that meeting seeing living him used to do to you..... 

that beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutifully high on Him....

its like you dont stay the you anymore, that beauuuuuuutifully all n just Him i say !!!!!!!!