The blue window…!

 This one beauty of some nights late night working this track playing and theres this construction sight right opposite to your apartment with now a blue window light on……mins back you donno when you fall asleep for a second and this one feeeeeeeeel of being held by all of him like all wrapped up with him and the sound of his deep sigh voice as he kisses your cheek away tightest holding you closest and you wake up with tuat press of his body and that one feeeeeeeeel!!!!!!

Like for a few seconds you zone out not making sense of the visuals around you and not finding him around……the somg playing in sync and you just shoot a video of that feel and the way through few frames suddenly the blue window turns green light wise…from blue beret to green beret kinda dialogue plays through your mind as you live that transition of light play!!

Some visuals that simple and yet that wordless beauty they hold in stillness is just beyond…

The blue window tonight…!

That sound of his sigh still that feeeeeeeeel of his arms around still!!!!!!

Terms!!!!

 U don't really know the meaning like the actual meaning of some terms till you live a moment that on automdoe makes you feel that way - "apple of my eyes"!!!!!!

This heart his face every single time these feeeeeel this elevated level of happiness just by living someone...

Hayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee this one love of a face!!!!!!!!

To random moments on repeat like this days back when you were on a meet with this new model at a cafe on your own and by mistake you again give the business debit card for payment and the cashier female tells you she follows your brand and right there was the model too and she introduces herself hindhujaand then you have this meet regarding a collaboration and right there in the middle of the discussion this Baadshah track plays from Dil kya kare and you couldn't stop smiling......cause right there in that moment a guy with white shoes and khaki chaddis walks in the background and your mind feeeeling away all the senses going numb cause that was the cue of his entry!!!!!

Like yout mind slowly frame by frame becoming all him and howwwweeeeeee and she even noticed it saying Shriya I don't think you are really here and you just nod away saying can we continue this over call and short meet and she leaves and you there asking them to play the track again......

It's this beauuuuuuty charlie of finding him in moments out of nowhere and the feeeeeel it gives you away like it was that in sync visually the track plays the guy at the back starts to walk and your eyes on the focus mode zooming only on the chaddis and white shoes and picturing him right there Versova legs of his through the auto window and his white shoes on the tiles as he walks through the gym doors towards you...With the perfect background score adding that bit of tadka to the Him viiibes of the moment...

It's that zone you suddenly diiiive in and it's another level of him trip I swear to the moment mins back same track playing as you are here again at concu fr the classic cold coffee and the same ditto track plays again Skoda comes over and parks same blue as his...

U literally thrive in such moments its like suddenly becoming the happiest you in less than a second.......

Hayeeeeeeeeeee singaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

Face of LOVE!!!!

 Just donnoooo something’s even lilst and the waaaaay they can leave your heart is a beauty beyond all logics…

Lilst glimpse of him in a guessing powder blue shirt smiiiiiiling his smile away has had you smiiiiiling away all day!!!!!!!

Him ayyyaaaaaaaa one thing born with a face of LOVE all things looooove I say…

Even now working on design and the reliving of the glimpse of him again makes your heart smileyyy I say……..

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa howeeeeeee only I swear!!!!!

Howeeeeee only if only!!!!!!!!

Just imagine lillllst glimpse of him has had you feeling all this away imagine all of him!!!!!!!

To live all of HIM!!!!!!!

Himhiiiiiiiighd!!!!!!

 Howwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeee doooo you even!!!!!!!!

This one fliiiiiiiiiight mode you are on like your feet off the ground even putting the foot on the ground I say!!!!!!

To live him like this LIKE THIS!!!!!!!

Howwwweeeeeee much you’ve missed that THAT one face in the world I say!!!!!!

The sound of his voice like this his zooooooomed up version like THIS!!!!!!

To feeeeeel him live him like this THIS!!!!!!!

It’s been one maaad maaaaad himzoneeeeeed morning I say!!!!!!

Even now this rush through you this very rush that has you feeeeeeeeling like this away!!!!!!

Trying to sleep just soo you can be up early and get in the workout so your day is set and you switch sides like after the wine there was that nap and then wake up play his music and try to sleep one side other side again repeat and this one time you think you were asleep ofc you were and this side ther was him in GUESS WHICH COLOR yassssss it was your ultimate love in black!!!!!!

Hayeeeeeeeee the waaaaaaaays this lil heart of yours feeeeels away all these feeeeeels away with him in black it just is the waaaaaaaay he looks man charlie like whowwwwwwwww!!!!!!!

And the second you see him that one drop of your heart like dhadaaaam bolke and the way he holds you leans over you and turns you to the side like a roll and again brings his face his lips closest to yours but just doesn’t touch and rolls again like one corner of the bed to the other and everytime you try to reach him he holds his face away a lil and that one smiiiiiiiiile like he as usual was luteralllllly building up that rush through you and this one time you stop him and hold his and try to chummi him and the way he pulls his lips in and it somehow makes you laugh hard the waaaaaaaaaaay he does and watching you laugh that his smile comes out and there was your chance and even before you try to he does it…….and howwwwwweeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

There’s a kiss and then there’s this one that makes you lose sense of your own self and you become the other THAT beauuuuuuuutofully!!!!!!!!

Like losing yourself in all him and howeeeeee!!!’nn

Like even writing it out now you can def sense the rush the madness in you as you write it out but it was all that and more……..his eyes his face his forehead his nose his lashes that closest to yours his daaaaadi against your cheek ayyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa the scent of him the sense of him to live him charlie!!!!!!!!!!

Complete heart and soul I say!!!!!!!

To that sound of his voice as he whispers something again the way he does it you lose the sense of the words but just his voice his lip against your ear just that sense of him again and you say something or something it was and you wake up to your own voice loud….

The second you wake up the first thing to see beside close your eyes again and relive picturing him right there in that one shirt and maaahhhhhnnnnnnnnn the waaaaay he looks in that!!!!!!!!!

It’s only much after waking up through the workout reliving the moment you realise it was the exact same thing he did earlier too once at his Dd space and at Versova too…

Cause even in the himcoming the waaaay that moment felt that familiar even then in his Dd room as you bring food or something from the kitchen and the second you stand there yessss water it was for him and the way he holds your hand and does the same thing rolling over with you it’s like those waves charlie wild wild waves crashing through forming those huge swirly waves just before crashing ayyyaaaaaaaa that one feeeeeel every single time…….to live him that up close and that way!!!!!!!

It’s like him diving through and in you with every roll…!

This mind ever since the waking up like it’s been one crazy start tripping on his yo yo honey like that’s another thing keep doing refreshing to check when it’s releasing with his update of coming soon……that feel again his fangirl for LIFE I say!!!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa howwwwwwwww only you are being missed awaaaaaaaaaaay if you only!!!!!!!!!!

One of those!!!!

 Yet another one of those of shit of ducky fuck moments on repeat!!!!!

Coming home this one realisation how do you even manage to do things like these like for once you had to take that call of attending to one client and end up messaging him instead and deleting it with that fear constantly repeating oh shit oh fuck oh shit oh fuck oh shit oh fuck!!!!!

Now one sip down the wine smiiiiiiiiling away humming awaaaay yoooo yoooooo honeyyyy singggggggaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

One of those out of now here happpppy random him highhhhssssss like these !!!!!!!

Aura!!!!’

 Strongly very strongly believe in people having an aura to them!!!!!

Shuruuuu se sing miyaa had always this “love me” aura to him like you just only can’t help but stop whatever you are doing and stare and then adore his complete being…

It’s like this magnetic field all around and over him you just get attracted to zoooooop bolke drawn towards him not knowing how why or what it just is what it is…

2-3 nights the Himcomings have been this silent like he just comes holds you or stays and lives n watches you or just that feeeeeling of sleeping over him like yesterday……today it was him just there beside you like you sniff and pulled towards his side open your eyes and see him in white shirt again his drooooling style his one hand under his head that close to your face him just smiiiiiiiiiilijg away his eyes that beauuuuutifully happy high him smiling that amworkingmymagicoyou and you know it kinda smile and you try to go closer to first chummi and then eat up but the waaaaaaaaaay he nods saying a no and just stays watching you…….even in that moment al of you on the inside going ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this one fellow this one heart of yours feeeeeling all that away just by the way he watches you…….it’s this one complete aura of him and this you’ve always also felt in the way he smells without fragrance too……

And howwwwwwwweeeeee you’ve loved it too and it’s a fact too people do have the scent of their own to the way they actually are they emit that kinda scent……and he had this just plain simple LOVE ME scent to him….

Him with his daaaaadi eyes happy high hair messy to just the way he stays that way even with a tornado inside of you for him you love and live him just the way he wanted to this morning……

Some moments ayyaaaaaaaaaaa I swear the waaaay they transform everything on the inside of you is beyooooond like you get up late but that one mushyyyyyy feeeeel on the inside reliving that beauuuuuty of him and there was this high THIS inexplicable him high you are on since the waking up this rush rushing through you and you runmm for the workout and post instead of strength training it was dance madness day today……played the most epic chillar playlist and loved it max!!!!!!!

Through n through these glimpses of him lately from back then to something as lil as the way he would make his eyes pop while chewing on the subway sandwich as it hit the spot right in his tummy and he was loving every bit of the bite and that one face he used to make eyes pop smiling away with every bite and that toooooo used to make your heart go ayyyaaaaaaaaaa this one fellow POOOOOORA KA POOOOOOOOOORA HEART of yours!!!!!!

Even on the Sunday when you notice that most loved circle that one hopppereee of seeing him anything him and instead it was bout max it’s the rush of him through this time of the year and you just can’t explain in words…….the way it’s like you are literally doing moon walk through this time reliving every detail of him and making you realise why it’s been the way it’s been bout feeels for him loving him growing in love with him…

It’s the LOVE ME aura of his…!

Can’t help but!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This morning that ONE HIM and this you it has left you are smiling awaaaaay jaw to jaw literally and you can’t help it!!!!!

Even out now post workout talking to mom bout something and al you could see was him on the pillow watching you smiling that smiiiiiileeeeeee of his!!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa howwwwweeeeeeeee only!!!!!!!!!!

Just LOVE!!!!!

 To the plot of the movie it’s this beauty in realising things bout love when you love grow in love with someone for over a period of time…

U can’t just love a side of someone, like love just this the most love when they are this and not like that kinda love…it’s either you just LOVE someone or you don’t…

That plain simple you can’t just love a certain side or thing bout someone, it’s in the lilst of things to the biggest of things it’s in the good days and most importantly on the bad days…there’s still love, it’s love and only love when you are in love with the entirety of someone in and with their complete being…

It’s him walking through the doors it’s in him having that chit chat with the juice guy outside the gym it’s in him talking to the hair stylist bout to cut his hair but as it’s a her him getting conscious as she talks to him a lot before the cut and you just on the other laughing away and ask the hair stylist doing your hair to change the seat of yours just so he is comfortable and not like you checking on him…and him as always does the complete ulta by coming and sitting right beside your chair for the hair cut at alim hakims as he wanted you to change your hair style…and you just look at him without saying a word and he comes closer telling you how could leave me with her all alone…….

And you actually loudly laugh it out and her moving his head as he was watching you still laugh over it……

It’s the waaaaaaay not just the sound of his voice would change in moments like these his complete face charlie like you should’ve seen his expression in that moment somethings nai where to where only it went even writing now this one takkkkl smile on your face right now reliving him from that moment…

So yeahhhhhhhh from just bout to sleep to seeing singmiyaaaa seeing your story to this another something usually whenever he has done that the next day came with block……so we are still not flying away on our cloud of hope and heaps of khushi already and sticking and staying on the ground for now…

But Some moments nai that andar wali feeeeeeeeeeeel where it makes all your insides go marshmalloweeyyy!!!!!

Same ditto feels right now…!

Visual stories…

 This movie last night like you’ve loved the character joker as much as batman but this one was a different one…

Usually you don’t prefer movies with heavy on emotion it’s mostly either a full on action movie or just plain some popular actor movie just cause you have to watch kinda thing…

And this was a musical but what an absolute delight it was visually cinematographically it was pure magic…the every frame was that brilliant and heights of perfection to the actor like usually it’s acting with dialogue and stuff but the way this characters entire body every part of the body was playing the character and capturing every bit of your attention…

To this one smoke scene where the character does the same thing with harley as she inhales the smoke from the other side of the bars…like you literally pause that scene to close your eyes and picture him from that Versova moment first…..as he leans over and first tells you don’t cough it out just hold it in comes closer says again veryytyyttty sexily this time hold it in sun meri baat ok and you nod cause even much before having that puff of his psy beedi you as always we’re already high on him…the second you do inhale the smoke it takes sometime to hit and the second it does there’s smoke still before you to the way his face slowly starts to emerge through it……..it’s that thing charlie do you ever feel when watching someone living someone for that moment and it feels like the first time and also with that strong sense of familiarity at once like you’ve loved this face so much and yet you are amazed by their presence and it makes all of your insides go WHOWWWWWWWWWW ITS HIM!!!!!!!!!!

For you that moment was it no wonder you remember it THIS clearly the way he raises his eye brows asking what’s up his usual signature style with that slow lil smile on him enjoying living your trip knowing you were high and you ask him one more time one more time and he nods saying a no ghar nai jaati tu diye tho and you tell him then tho you definitely wanted one more and he does it one more time……this time more than the psy beedi it was him that you most WANTED!!!!!!!!

Time travelling!!

 It’s like you’ve been time travelling through the day today all day like there was a lot of work out out fabric work border work to meeting this agency guy that helps in the staff recruitment thing…

And all through that one state of mind constant like seeing around in your mind you were back in time reliving him from lilst of things from back then…like in the evenings him just randomly coming over calling you asking you to come down around 6-7pm mostly and soon as you get in the car he would say am hungry let’s get some chips……and then head out to this supermarket right beside your apartment…him buying banana chips his ultimate fav dairymilk must and some other chips and then walking in that galli with you talking bout random stuff eating chips away…..to the waaaaay he would always be amused with the idea of sighting the moon with you during those walks and literally tell you it’s mostly here in this area during this time and that Khushi on him ayyaaaaaaaa adoooooooooorably getting all happy bout his guess work to be so apt…

It’s this chill in the air lately and the waaaaaaaaaay it just feels like back then cause back then it was much colder like you remember late nights on call with him and he could sense the shiver in your voice and insist on getting some blanket and then sitting and talking to him…

Sometimes sleeping there itself out in the cold cause you don’t realise it was morning almost it’s that beauuuuuuuty charlie of the sound of his voice during those hours…where the world around sleeping his voice that clear with everything around that beautifully quiet it’s just his voice the music playing slow in his room at that hour and him almsot falling asleep on the call…….that one wish every single time during those times like you just wish you could put your hand inside the phone and just reach out to him and hold him…to just hear him that sleeep toooooo was LOOOOOOVE for you!!!!!

Some days!!!!!

 From that feeeeeeeeeel of himcoming from morning where anything him makes you that happy!!!!!!

It’s like just smiling through all the chaos through the day…..work has been difficult lately like that would still be an understated word finding the right team of handwork karigars again that are decent also is not easy with the line and deadlines you are on……

Then there’s that one ray of sunshine of your life and the waaaaay you just can’t wipe that smile off your face like the waaaaaaay it’s just glued on reliving the calm beauuuuty of him from this morning…..just bout now setting the alarm just bout to sleep cause in your mind you were prepping up for tomos workout time to fit in the schedule so for that gotta be up early so you can have your Himtime of the mornings and still manage to get to work on time…

The usual routine winding up some edit work watching this Harold with purple crayon and as much as you loooved watching it that one ring in your mind to be up early for Himtime…usual routine to live him for a bit and then sleep and uve been checking your story views lately ever since him on your WhatsApp and nope doesn’t check all this while till TODAY…….

This very moment few mins back you see his name there singmiyaaaa checks the story…

Again one of those lilst moments that gives you that much khushi away specially after a day like today where even for fabric sourcing there’s Tera hone laga hu starts playing to your mind living him away from back then…

Today seeing yourself in the mirror in the store there was dirt on your black kurta with all the sorting of the fabric room at the studio and you see yourself messy in the middle of the store the way the kurta looked like it was faded…the waaaaaaay that very moment of him watching you from downstairs like ok the street in his car just bout to head over to some interview for an editors work post…he sees you and immediately takes the car in your galli and parks it there…

Calls you up asking first thing what you were wearing as it looked new and you tell him it was an old kurta of your moms that you found that day from her bag and as it was a black kurta you loved it and wore it……the way he asks you to come down immediately and you tell him bout getting late for the interview and yet he insist…..

Runnnn down and he checks you out you lean over to chummi him and ask him to leave for work the way he holds onto your hand at his window pane of the car that one look of Khushi on him just seeing you in it and asking why didn’t you ever wear it before and you tell him because he didn’t like kurtas on you and you did find it that day itself and he asks you not to change back and let that be on……leaves for work leaving you with yet another one of those most beauuuuuutoful moments lived with him of his way of love for you…

Zoned out n away!!!!

 Some moments when you've lived that strongly it leaves you with and in that zone that your mind and body refuses to shake it off!!!!!

Like your mind right now can't function or make sense of the reality as you wake up like it's taking you this long to figure the day out the waking up out.....

It was a beauuuuuuuuuuuuutiful slow moment of just feeling that feeeeeel of sleeping over his bare chest just the feeeeeeel of his hand stroking your hair away softly and just that feeeeeeeeeeel of him under your face like you could smellllllll his scent away to the fullest live him sideways that way just that feeeeeeeeeeel of him with some ofc music playing and just that viiiiiiiiibe of him saying whispering something slow away.....which u don't remember now but that feeeeeeeeeeel of him over your face the beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful scent of him and you just CANT shake it off now!!!!!

This mind this you this morning still not up I say!!!!!!

When you just wanna roll back to the same moment living sniffing looooooving him away that way now now nowwwwww!!!!

The day still hasn't started yet...!

Visuals!!!!

 Some visuals like the second you notice its the same actor from the yesterday movie that looked soooooooooo much like him from back then gym days…

It’s like visually almost living him from back then him ofc waaaaaaay more gorgeous with his wild hair big bold deep expressive eyes his smiiiiile like his other details to his own but something bout this actor resembles so much from him back then…

This movie on prime you sit for and this one visual does it for you him just bout turning his car around and stops and waits for your palat moment and the waaaaaay it looked THAT much almost like Him…

Like its that sudden shift in you almost pace of the heartbeat change the waaaaaaay it felt like visually reliving him from that moment…

Some moments outta nowhere and this wooooooooooosh of a feeeeeeel you are loaded with!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa howeeeeeeeee only!!!!!!!

Why onlyyyy!!!!!!!!

Kya onlyyyy!!!!!!

HIMzoooooned!!!!!!

 This THISSSSSSSSSSSS beauuuuuuuuuuuuty of Himcomings like these!!!!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaa he is suchaaaaaaaaaaaa adooooooooorable jalebi of a hooooman I swear!!!!’

One declicous jalebiii!!!!!!

U have just no idea charlie the work nonsense firing 6 core people at once and then now trying to find the replacements how difficult it has been…..all at once to deal with!!!!!

Why can’t people jsut let women be with their own life……

Like why is it this difficult to justify explain reason out your own way of life to absolute strangers that shouldn’t even be concerned it’s NOT their concern not getting to that topic as of now…..

It’s been too hard as it is so let’s switch back to the Sunshine of your life…!

Amidst everything there’s this love for your work still and you decide to take the big step because firing this core set of workers is going to cause delay in work clients orders and now finding immediate replacements for the same is another chaos…

There’s this long daaaay of work and the beauuuuty of winter nights and howwwwweeeeeee you looooooove this season this year even MORE now that you can live him every now and then even whilst watching this quiet place something movie and there was this visual of an ipod and His iPod memories with it rush through you it’s the beauuuuuuty of finding him in random most mkents like these!!!!!

And the heiuiights of Khushi it’ brings along beyond logics I say!!!!!!

To falling asleep on the couch itself and this one lil himcoming where it looked like you were at some coaching place and him behind you and there was some teacher explaining something and the teacher asks the behind line of  students any doubts you can ask your senior here and that’s when you feel something hit your back turn around and there he was black shirt blue denim shirt his style it was his leg that hits your back…..as it was a bench setting him on a higher bench behind you and he just moves his leg a lil away smiiiiiiiles at you and says a sorry and you tell him it’s ok and that nod of his and he brings his leg closer to you again……and you see it and the way he moves his lips saying you said it’s ok and raises his eyebrows!!!!!!

The waaaaaaaaybthat whole moemnt as you turn around smiling away felt like you’d known him before like that strong feeeeeel inside of you like you’d lived him before you’d loved him before it’s that beauuuutiful déjà vu that you strongly feel in that moment….

Some sound or strike of the stick on the bench to catch your attention and you wake up…

His question back then sitting on the steps below the gym him asking you what if he hadn’t joined the same gym or you not in the same gym do you think we would’ve met somewhere else just a hypothetical question…and you tell him how strongly you believed in destiny cause you were almost enrolled for the golds gym but on your way home you see this board of talwarkar and wanted to come here instead…

Like to just check the place and your mom says but we already enrolled filled the form for golds and just the payment has to be made the next day but you still insist and the second you walk through the door that one strong feeeeeeel…….and you immediately decide this is it!!

It’s nothing if you think or read now in words but in that moment how it all aligned one after the other was just pure magic…!

He did mention back then he used to come early to the gym not same time as yours but that one day he comes late and that’s when you see him entering walking towards you in that tile walk of his…..intentionally ignoring some words away so it will be just “tile” walk instead…

And after that he always used to come same time as yours…

To wake up from this dream the himcoming the state of mind this beauuuuuuuty of lil things and howwwwweeeeee they can just like that make your day away is beyoooond!!!!!

Like you were a senior then too !!!!!!

It was a day of having to rush to work early but instead decide to get more him feeeeels instead!!!!!

Ayyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this looooooooooove and need to teeeel him awaaaaaay like this the waaaaaaaays he is one with you through n through every single moment!!!!!!!! 

Howleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you gorgeous gorgeous jalebiiii how ihlyyy you are being missed away again if only sliiiiiiightest bhi!!!!!!!

This happppy himhighdddddd!!!!!!

Eyes eyes baaaaaby!!!!!

 Theres everything at work that you are struggling to deal and sort with and then there’s Him HIMMMMMM theough n through making your days brighter nights yummier and moments crazier!!!!!!

To live him charlie hayeeeeeeeeeeeee howwwww much youve missed living him away from up closest like this no matter what you gotta through the day theres that one moment firat moment after waking up from him to him ayyyaaaaaaaa that state of mind from THAAAAAT much him from the himcoming to wanting needing to see him first soon as you are up and that mushyyyyy cozyyyyyy feeeeeeeel it gives away every single time is just beyonddddd……like you just stay there on bed for mins more past alarm living him away the mind the heart the all of you on the inside is in that completely different time place and mood zone i say!!!!!!

It’s indescribable to write out what and how exactly it makes you feel like………thaaaaaaaat one beauuuuuuty and feeeeeel of him like bursting magic through that one gaze that one looooooooooooove for even him just looking around…

Today being the almost final day sorting things out hopefully days will be easier and back to normal from tomo……

But its this one sunshine of your LIFE i say to just live someone howwwwweeeeee happy it can make your heart away nevrr i say never underestimate the power and magic of living someones lilst details away what it can do to you is beyooooooond…….

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa you lil big adooooooooooooorBle thing how only you are being missed awaaaaay!!!!!!

To words like these falling insync with the mood…!

Him bringing sandwiches made by him for you the morning to his simply delicioooooouuuuusssss energy right from the very start…

That one human i swear pooooooora heart and just HEART!!!!!!!!!!

Whatteeven!!!!

 Is it even normal amidst dealing with some serious staff issues and nonsense politics at work you instead were sitting n wondering today how woulf it now be to watch his story from your own account after all this time of chorofyijg away for all these years…

Like now that he did add you back on whatsapp theres this wait even today post lunch with all that staff stress nonsensically you instead sit there n wonder how it will be to actually legally view his story instead of your illegal ways…

Are thoughts n wanderings like these even normal to seconds back just smilinggggggg away living that beauuuuuuuuuuty of him on WhatsApp!!!!!!

How like this even after all this while…!

Sundazed!!!!

 On some days working under someone in a way seems easier than handling business…

Its too much stress since yesterday to deal with and then theres this random momemt when this friend comments at your earlier dp on instagram as one hand of the two looks like chipkaly lizard types and some words no matter what they mean its the waaaaaaays they bring him along makes it that much more beautiful…

Its when he was trying to figure out a nickname for you and he goes on with chipkaly karkeri kurkuri and then finally zeroes it down to karely…

That one word just made you that happy also on a picture that in your mind has the same green similar green backdrop as his picture……am telling you the missing mind can have the best possible imagination i swear!!!!!

Like its too much mess to deal with work tomo plus finding another driver like all of it together at once and you just donno how to deal with it…….

For now this one beauuuuuuty of a track and this himrush from morning Him definitelyyyyyyyyyy that beauuuuuutiful combination of a gorgeous calm and a wild wild west chaos too……and a goooooooorgeous one!!!!!!

Heres words like these adding that Himsparkle to an ordinary day cause including all of his every detail you loooooooooved his mind too…!

Words!!!!!!

 This hiiiiiiigh this viiiiibe of this time ofthe year like you can smell it in the air and a himcoming like this one thus morning to words like these!!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaa how only you are being missed away if onlyyyyyyy sliiiiiightest!!!!!!

Madness!!!!!

 This looooooooooove for him I swear!!!!!

No matter where you are what day it is that’s one beauuuuuutoful constant!!!!!

It’s your moms birthday and last second you decide to take the day off and head out for a staycation for a day at kohenur……

Some places nai this one stronghghhhhhhh feeeeel to be with him especially at the Asian dinner place ye jing something!!!!!

Like the second you are there that one Netflix crime movie kinda interiors with these Chinese warship wood used not the interiors not just the lights reflections all around it’s some Vibe of the place the music and that one strongggff feeel to be there with him!!!!!

And that one fataaaak smile on your smile just picturing him there on the opposite chair that too when mom was giving the lecture away bout taking care of yourself as you were baadly tanned on the arms and feet post shotot and there you were sitting there smiling away few sips down on the pure negroni and picturing him there in the glass reflection backdrop…..

Like being very adventurous bout the drink but boyhhhhhhhh the first sip down and that one feel woaaaaaab that was the purest form of alcohol ever!!!

And you literally tell your mom that you are completely her responsibility to head back to the room cause it was that pure and strong I say that very moment too as you lay your head over her shoulders cause you were that happppppy high living him every now and then on WhatsApp and the waaaay it was making you more himtrip away and howwwweeeee!!!!!

Even now it’s that still lil lil high smiling awayyyyy just with that feeeeeeeel of him from yesterday…..

It’s been crazy with the new driver getting the first and only dent at the back cause of wrong driving and that alone disturbed you baaaaaaaad with that echo of his words again you’ll understand this pain when you have your own car one day…

So today was like MUCH needed where you just wanted to get drunk without having to worry to head home as it was just in the below floor and heading back to the room holding onto your mom…..

To watching mask movie now and this one rush of him again like he actually used to do these things like exaggerated expressions when happy that squeak in his sound of voice his walking style suddenly this one feeeeeel of a glimpse of him in this character like you are this happppppppppy him tripping today with one track of Daljit lover on loop and your mom already has her doubts the waaaaaaaay you just couldn’t keep this smile off you ever!!!!!!

Like you had the general pass but wasn’t sure of the safety of it so give it a skip after reading bout the concert crowd issue at Daljit consort!!!!!!

There are moments there are places there are drinks and food that you miss him with even the lift moment today andbayyyyaaaaaaaa ways you miss him!!!!!!

Even now in this mask character this one strong feeeeeeel of him the way he would say something’s pouting his lips away when happy!!!!!!!

This one picture of him hayeeeeeeee mera pooooora ka pooooooora heart I say Tera Tera Tera ni mei looooooover sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!

Honaaaa ni meiiii recover!!!!!!!

Babyyyy babbyyyyyy Tera ni meiiiii looooooover!!!!!!!

This mind today just feeeeeeeeeels on a different only kindaaaaa high!!!!!!!

Thisssss viiiiiiibe of him around!!!!!!!!

Saving thooooooo bantaaaaaaaaa niiiiii looooover!!!!!!!!

 

Easy!!!!!

 This ease just living someone can put your mind into…..

Aankhonnnnnn ko teri aaadat hai tuuuu dokheee na tooo inhere shikayaaat hai!!!!!

Some moments as easy and beauuutiful as this to love and live him charlie in moments like these when youve been missinf him away waaaaaay tooo much that you find random people looking like him all at once around you…

This looooove to dress up and walk like him stand like him absooooolutely fangirling away to that beauuuuty of him…

That picture there defffff didnt do justice to this upclose one just like him in his himcomings zooooomed up version after SOOOOOOO long!!!!!!

This chillll this ease it fills your mind up with initially and then the slow sommersaults inside you begin and howwweeeee!!!!!

Sound of Him!!!!!

 There’s this beauuuuuty of this time of the year every single year for years now and the nights somehow are your most loooved!!!!!

Cause the waaaaaaaays they bring him along mainly this time of the year and it’s always been THIS magical…

Evenings bring him standing near the car just after dropping you waiting sometimes outside sometimes inside waiting for your palat moment just before entering your apartment gate and the waaaaaaaaaaaay it always used to bring that one special smile on him and then would turn the car around or if late night meets or dropping you till the door that corner of the most loved stairs spot you standing there and him downstairs near his car wait for those few seconds sending you a flying chummi and then get in the car…..to the nights bringing his sound of voice along like this clear his voice still that clear on the phone……from his chuckles to his random talks to him singing some song for you to his sleep sounds……ayyyyaaaaaaaa that was your most favourite the waaaaaay he would still continue talking even in his sleep lips going blub blub words unclear but that feeeeeeeeeel of him in his voice and the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaays it always used to make want to run to him and hold him away kiss him away that very moment it’s that adoooooooooorable kid in him that used to come out almost falling asleep to those sounds of him still sleeping and you hang up with a happy heart every single time looking up thanking up above for Him in your life…

To his call again complaining bout you hanging up while he still wanted to feel closer to you sleeping…..to his sound of voice whilst hugging you the waaaaay he would always pull the neck of your kurta a lil away and then place his face there rub his face a lil there still holding you and make that one sound…..

It’s that very moment that you still live him with in dreams actually from now on it’ll be himcomings not dream cause those moments are too real to be just a dream…

The waaaaaaaaaaaaay he would hold you and do that and making that one sound your COMPLETE heart right there……to his random things he loved doing wrestling with you on his bed or in his car the hand hit play of his who hits the hardest itsbthese lil things that your evenings are filled with this time of the year…like you change shower and stuff and play something on tv play his music on the floor with a iced water glass working on edits or some work and this rush of him like lilst things bout him howwwweeeeeee you love just reliving them away and akele akele smiling away laughing over something away sometimes and then look around cause it was a loud one…

To mornings now even with no himcoming there is now a himcoming every morning eyes still not ready to open and that need to live him away and the very first thing your heart goes hayeeeeeeeeee this one fellow I swear….his same pic on insta doesn’t do justice to howwwwwwwww beautiful he looks on WhatsApp zoomed version…

His eyes his nose his daaaaadi his messy wild hair his lips smaaaaaaaaacking I say that one feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel like looking right into your soul kinda stare……

It’s like everytime you see him be it this picture or other it’s the waaaaay there’s always His sound to the picture something saying and the more you are writing out this state of mind lately the more crazy it sounds…but charlie like that saying goes there are way too many ordinary things around the world LOVE shouldn’t be one of them…

Like you gottaaaa feeeeeeeeeel that deeeep dive feeeeeeeeeling into someone that you come out soaked completely and that’s when the absence doesn’t matter much…..but sure does the presence and HOWWWWEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Even at the shoot day before when the model getting her hair done and you were tying your hair into a bun and she leans over her hair and touches your hair saying shriyaaa my hair came to I love you to your hair and you that THAT himzoned do back with your hair saying love u too…..cause that was something exactly dittttoooooo he does to your hair…

One day at his place his sister shows you a picture of him and her at some dhaba where he was bending towards her side ways his hair over her hair side ways kinda shot and you take that picture and go to his room excitedly saying how beauuuuuuutoful he looked in that picture it’s been years now and you still remember that picture the waaaaay he just looked in that one you forget in that moment you were in his sisters room and literally take the picture from her and run to his room to just tell him that……he just kissed your forehead away and you back in her room…..

That very evening soon as you are ready to head home him dropping you back he takes the car looks at you outside the gate stops it and leans over you and chummis you right outside his house and brings his head closer to yours saying with his hair I love you and do the same back with your hair I love you too….it made you THAT happpppppppy it’s the lilst things he did and made you LOVE HIM BIG!!!!!!!

Cause it’s lil if you see it but that much love wanting to live that moment with you and you didn’t even take it that way cause to you that picture was just about how beautiful he looked in that and you didn’t have any picture of his then…..to that one him ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaa he always used to say this thing bachi hai tu even being elder one am more mature somehow and he did love you like a Man…

Where to where only it went!!!!!!!!

This rush of him and with no himcoming just living him away soon as you are up in that picture that need to feel him away and had to had to get in the workout!!!!!!

This one beautiful beautiful beauuuuutiful madness to feel him with you it somehow never gets old or used to the waaaaaay it amazes you everytime you feel him on your skin him breathing against your neck as you stretch that yoga move…..it’s magical almost his music him along as you dance move and stretch it’s beyond you beyond logics to feeeeeel him away this strongly and this one sound You by Ry artist is pure madness and completely HIM!!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa the waaaaaaaays you are missed aisaaaaa waisaaaaaa kaisaaaaaa kaisaaaaaaaaaa only if you had the slightest idea!!!!!!!

This rush of him this presence the way it’s made that change in you evident even the model says shriya there’s this happy glow on you it’s different mom says the same and this is something thats always been right from the start…

Himglow I say!!!!!!!

Comfort remains!!!!!

 This THIS one comfort to head to toe when you turn side live him give a kissie away still in that state of not wanting to get off bed and stay that way for a bit…..after a few pauses living him away imagination running wild and that’s when you decide to get up before it gets too out of control…..

It’s his lilst details and to live them away with visuals it’s this sense of comfort and beautiful chaos at once…another wish has been made this morning too!!!!!!

Some feeeeeeeeeeels nai like they reach out the insidest of yous in the most beauuuuuuuutiful of ways…

Living him has always been bout that and more…!

Hayeeeeeeeeeeee mornings like these wanting to turn real!!!!!!

Like now now NOW!!!!!!!!

Descriptive mind!!!!!

 This loooooove to live moments of him be it in the dreams or through your day or through your writing and you just realise you’ve developed such a descriptive mind…like everything you live to anything bout him comes now with this description this visual mood or vibe…

Like giving visuals away to moments kinda vibe…

One shoot and it always takes atleast 2 days to recover from it kinda stress and the waaaaaaaaaaaaay he breezes through it all like a fresh breath of all things woody and oak!!!!! 

He adds you back on whatsapp and you just notice it and the waaaaaay its all been feeling like his slow sexy walk steps towards you just like his slow moooody walk from his dd space meets…

Opening the door for you checking you out with that one smiiiiiile on him and he would always takes those few steps back to take a look at you live what and how you are feeling for him in that very moment soon after you see him……and then that slow moooody walk after assessing your missing rush for him!!!!!!

The way lately its been giving away the same vibes away and howwwweeeeeee!!!!!!

Like couldnt get a workout now but this need to just get in some moves with the moooods i say!!!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaa all things magical and moodycal…!

Sensing the madness rushing through you now toootally when random words are being generated out of the dictionary!!!!!!

To these words of the day and mirroring away the state of mind and HOWWWWWEEEEE!!!!!

Dumb!!!!

 Some moments and that sound of his voice calling you dumb blonde!!!!!

When some friend of yours mentions bout missing out on posting prateeks video with original sound is when you realise they didn’t have sound only!!!!! 

And you wanted to save these few very special ones each one with a moemnt of Him linked to it one real and the rest Himcomings as you sung along……and now sit and post em all as reels cause you had to save it somewhere and videos here is a painfully long process to upload…

But now as you upload them all on insta this one feeeeeeeeeeel of the day today also……..

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaa this one change in missing lately!!!!!!

Even with a lost state of mind the way somethjngs bring that instant peace and calm to you and also fuels the tornado away I say!!!!!!!

How just that one face in the world becomes all this away to you nai…that one face like no other in the world!!!!!!!

Some feels!!!!!

 Some feels nai you can never grow used to!!!!!!

Everytime you see him this one fataaaaaak feeeeeel it sways you with!!!!!!!

Been one sun toasted and roasted day of shoot and still when the mind is at this beauuuuuuutiful ease like high on his psy beedi gin and his music altogether at once so much so that you can’t stop smiling I say……..

It’s this beauuuuuuty of his dreams now seeing him living him like you just held that face in your hands some feeeeels nai beyond logics I swear..

Like you can’t possibly reason out how or why something’s can make you feel this way……or why you can’t just take it to be his picture ok kinda vibe…

It’s this feeeeelnof living him after the longest gap ever!!!!!!

Like EVER!!!!!!!

To this feeeeel now at concu of having the most gorgeous jar of classic cold coffee and the very first thing he would love it too as it’s not too sweet nor too coffeey types…

Finding new places finding new drink/food/music the very first person tingggggf bolke crosses you Him!!!!!!

The vibe of wintery evenings like these this chill and smell in the air like it brings back any to everything Him and howwwweeee!!!!!!

Face…!

Waking upto a face like that one his lip smaaaaacking expression and your face with this contsant smile on as the photographer explains bout the light….not getting ur reference final result and here you are smiling away to all of it cause it’s just him rushing through you at this pace…….all you can see C feel live understand make sense of is just Him again standing at yhe balcony as you go closer and the waaaaaay he moves his arm away looking you in the eye THAT one smiiiiiiiiiiiile of his and you are MELTING literally!!!!!!!

Even reliving it now as you write him in THAT color ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa who even needs something else to get high on when you have a view like that one to just breathe and get high on and hoowwwwwwweeeeeeee!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaa howwwweeeeeeeee only you are being missed away abhiiiii k abhiiiii if you only had the slighest of ideas i say!!!!!!!!!

Lilllst bhi!!!!!!!!

All i C…!

 Trying to get a quick sleep as its a verh early morning shoot tomo with sudden plan change and photographers dates booked for the month…..u had to reschdule it for tomo early morning and now trying to get wuick sleep you just canttttttt!!!!!

This track playing him standing at the balcony stretching his arms and neck out and you here cant sleep with that one visual playing on loop…

This looooooove for him in that khaki color did start from back then coming back from Bangalore in that khaki jacket ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaa that one gorgeous GORGEOUUUUUUS beauty he looked…

After that day it has been this dream or himcoming actually that you see him live him loooooooooove him adooooooooooooooore him drooooooool over him in that color…

Now all you can see feel live looooooove is that one visuao playing on loop now as you keep changing sides now…this one khushiiiii i swear the more you relive that moment now!!!!!

Fire n chill!!!!!

 These mix blend of emotions rushing through today with these lilst moments of khushi…!

This beautiful blend of firey missing to this chilled calmness running through just reliving that one visual of him standing at the balcony in that color to these moemnts and feels now!!!!!!

What only howwweereee only!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaa heart i say!!!!!!

Thu thu thu!!!!!!

 When you are this happiest for reasons you don’t even know after a very VERY long time!!!!!!’

Like to live him like this in his fullest best possible and a new color this time and it has already become your most favourite thing currently on him now a khaki shirt again same softttttttest texture where you could literally feeeel away his arms beneath the shirt too……..

There’s this balcony you wake upto as you turn sides and you see him standing in a khaki shirt and beige pants and that pull in you as you look around it looked different you were hoping it to be a sea view but it was a forest view door se some music still playing like you were checking the surrounding to see if it was a dream or happening for real and you even pinch yourself to see your skin turn red and you still could see him and the waaaaaaay he turns around looks at you and then fully turns around with his back against the balcony grill and folds his arms and just looks at you with that one smiiiiiiiiiiiiile of his like your ultimate scream cue to runnnnnnnnn to him and exactly you do the same first live him a step far and the waaaaaaaay he unfolds his arms and rest over the railing behind like his way of saying check me out kinda stare and you do dooooo and howeeeeee from head to toe just living that beauuuuuuuuuty of him away his daaaaadi his skin glow in that color on him his shirt style of wearing it that way and with some breeze the way the collar of the sjirt falls farther and he raises his head and neck like looking up and raises his arms like he used to back then in the gym and security checks and then that smiiiiiiiile eve more as he looks up knowing just knowing there’s no stopping you now and the waaaaaaaaaaaaay he looks in that moment ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa my favvvvbbbbb most edible form of human bird I swear!!!!!!!!!

To him and the first thing you chummi eat his neck up as he chuckles over feeling your madness for him over his neck raising his arms again as you try to reach out to tje waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay he holds all of you awaaaay feeling your back away exactly how he used to and you take his face in your hand to live him him raiding his eyebrows asking what’s up and slowly kisses your hand away looking you in the eye and then kisses you that one waaaaaay he used to ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that beauuuuuuuuuuty of him I swear in that moment charlie my heart kidney everything in me right there THE LOOOOOOOOVE of your life right there in that moment ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!

Something’s you relive as you write now this rushhhh of goosebumps now!!!!!!!!

It’s that visual with the music playing the brush of the breeze over him him looking a lil high and most beauuuuuuutoful the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay that one sudden transition in you and he chuckles over it saying look at you breathing this way kya hona karely and that veryytyytttytyt second that sudden excitement in you in the waaaaaay he calls you that says you that in that loooove tone of his voice you wake up……

That one state of you in that moment still confused what it was where you were cause you did pinch yoruself too to check and it was real didn’t feel like a dream cause you checked the surroundings too and that sudden confusion……

First thing to live him on WhatsApp and that feeeeeeeeel of him like seconds back this very face was right there in your hands like he was that close that one rush to get in the workout and you come out your mom asking something first thing looking at you says why is your face and lips so red asking if you had a fever on or something and that one sudden giggle you couldn’t hold it in and rush to the workout room……

Check your face and it was actually red with your lips too some feeeeeeeeeeeels nai just beyond!!!!!’nn

Get in the workout and you had to had to get in the him moves too ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this flight mode it always puts you in there’s this slow rush as you feeeeel him on your skin as you move like he is there along with you as max mad as this sounds writing it out just is the waaaay it feels him along with you feeling your arms back neck away as you stretch and move or even dance as today…..

Like it wasn’t an intense workout today just bout getting in the feeeeels today and it did howwww!!!!!!!

This morning this day today that him in that color ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa mind HIMZONING and HOWEEE!!!!!!!