Awakened…!

 To live an experience as this you only realise why you love music so much!!!!!

Like you are THIS passionate bout music and it’s only yesterday you realise how it’s been the only way to find him ever since his absence from your life…

Like it’s your only way of escape from the reality and dive into everything to any slightest of Hims you can possibly manage and get your hands on…

After last few days been difficult with too many questions doubts and realisations of how could be his oshm painter or anybody else for that matter but YOU……it’s been years now and yet never you!!!!!!

Last night when there to feeeeeel him like that all over again with the music playing was letting yoruself your love out for him….in the most unusual of ways in the most magical of ways with the music playing that loud the artist singing this song o piya and the waaaaaaaaay everything him starts to rush through you like you were dancing or atleast moving along with the sound eyes shut and just feeeeeling one with the sound and the beats the sound of voice and the waaaaay everything him right from the very start right when you see him his feet his legs his head looking down to the moment him sitting with you on the stairs talking something and adooorably laughing away and you just living his details the first time liking somebody’s facial features like you live his eyes his lips his cheek his beautiful wide forehead the way his eyes sparkle his nose twitches under the sun to him looking down showing you how to tie the lace saying something the sound of his voice him looking down smiling away and then looking at you and pauses for a second asking you not to move the way he looks you in the eye and smiles some more…….asking you to look the other direction and you just couldn’t look away from him is when you realise how much you were loving living his details away…..and he asks you again to look the other side just so he could see your eyes from the side too and comes closer to take a closer look and that very moment his face that close to you and for the first time you didn’t fear somebody’s presence that close to you…and instead wanted to live his details from that close too……to that moemnt of coming out of the temple watching him stand there out for you and you just look at him from far and that very moment that one first feeeeeeel……

To the second you get in and the way he talks bout not being at any temple after his mom thing and so stayed out and you ask him if you could put the vibudhi on him and he leans closer to you lifting his hair off the forehead and that very second too as you put the vibudhi and instead just stay that way living his beauuuty away him looking down eyes shut your one finger on his forehead and your finger just wouldn’t move to just feel him for the first time that way……to the way realising that he slowly looks at you and smiles away and raises his eyebrow asking what’s up and you realise and move away…..

To that first moment at opera to live him to looooove him living you living your details away to that moemnt of sharing that with him him holding you closest possible and keeps touching your ears with his lips and keeps whispering the same word over n over again it’s me it’s just me it’s only me karely it will be always me it’s just me I swear…….like that second the complete moment his music playing the low dim lights from his music system the beauty of the quiet and wild opera around late hour of the evening and to live your fear with him and find his love in that very moment in the waaaaay he makes you live it the waaaaay he just holds you through the moemnt to the many other moemnts later of literally asking him I want more of you I want more of you not knowing how what and the wasaaaay he would hold you laugh over it and say I know I know still holding you…….

To that moment of him walking to the car and leans over whispering away I don’t want to but have to…. his car lights blinking as he stays for a bit looking at you through the rear view to that moemnt right outside the gym he asks you if you wanted to sit for a bit and you knowing somehow you just nod not like this not like this……to that moment at his Versova place just before leaving as you get off and the way he holds your hand and just looks you in the eye slowly sometime more for a bit and you literally fall over him and he holds you again and stays that way with leg in between and holding you closest……to another call from your aunt where you were staying at and he asks you now to get ready and comes along with you in the washroom looks at you looks at you through the mirror and points at him and you together and says not bad nai and that feeeeeeeeeeeel like you found him and his love again all over again…….

Like even before getting in the auto that evening you wait for him to stop you that one scream on the inside stop me once once pls and the waaaaaay he just looks at you and get in watching him walk back to his place……to that moment of falling on the floor of his dd space maybe also why you didn’t feel like getting off the floor not wanting to leave the waaaay he keeps dancing away and then dropping you on the floor and you staying that way not wanting to get off……

It was like every bit of him charlie his sound of voice his eyes his forehead his back then lil lower lip daadi to his full wild daaaadi to his skin on the arms and palm the feeeel of his arms as you used to hold him rushes through you every lil detail bout him…..

Like you singing out loud moving feeling him away with the sound and just bout half an hour off or something you come out alone as you were there with a friend and sister and you come out alone ask the driver to bring out the car and ask the driver to go get them or something and you sit in the car and speak your love out I love you I loved you so so much I love you so much chippy like yuh keep repeating it saying it out loud over n over again cause the moemnt the vibe the whole vibe of that moemnt the music was like feeling him with you literally in the moemnt it was that strong it was that beyond you just that beautiful beyond you……like happily cry it out not sadly it’s that sudden realisation even after years how much you love someone still love someone…

Like they bring beer and stuff along and you just had a few sips or something and didn’t wanna drink at all it’s that need to vibe with just the music in your complete sense where you feel it the most pure it the most possible way……

And it was magical…!

To feel him that much to live him that much to live that self of yours that way after a VERY long time….