Moments!!!!!

 Another one of those fckshitfckshit moments with a wine glass down you check onto live him for a bit and instead it’s his story…..ayyaaaaaaaa that one adooooorableness of his mind as always the waaaays it brings back his days with lucky… always!!!!!

ringo with a goofy toy in mouth and him capturing it and you alone how bad you miss him taking pictures be it random or moments like these….

again his pictures or his music a reflection or a window to his beautiful beauuuuuuuutiful mind!!

Hoping now just hoping there’s not a noface show tomo morning when you wake up and get on WhatsApp to live him…

Cause today felt no less than magic with a dream of his yes now you call them dreams from one dream to still in that cozy state of mind get on WhatsApp to live him and that very same second he posts the story…..

Lil lilst of things that make your heart feel something that big away and how like the second you wake up to see him live him adore him away there for a bit and then finally get up and on with the day ahead!!

MOMNETS!!!!!

 Happiest proudest heart I say!!!!!!!

Moments like these that made 2024 best and bahadurest year I say!!!!!!

Three things...

 The only three things in life you have absolute no control over no matter where you arewhat you are doing or whatever...

Beret wit a green halo on whatsapp (and struggle to not touch is REAL & BRUTAL)

Beret with a red halo on ig

Beret all of HIMSELF...!

Reflection!!!!

 Reflecting over the past few days how the random moments of magic you are still sprinkled all over!!!!!

This vibe of some state of mind with goooood music playing lights out and a ice full glass of gin......even with a fever on last few days!!

But this is one thing that always ALWAYS happens when you miss him this way......

It's tooooo much to write and also you don't want to go in that weird zone of mind and stay on this side that feels better than that one...

Work changes routine changes hair changes and still trying to settle with that though everybody else loves it but you srill need to get your head around it luterally!!!!

To few days back or checking almost everyday yo yo ranks on number 1 another one of those his joys becoming yours after having watched it over 7-8 times now and alwayspqysing away when his name comes and proudest joyyyyest smile always comes on.......I swear the waaaaaaaay otakes youfeeel every single time iskist beyond!!!!!!

To seelcing ipad or phone for work purposes again cause you'd been ediringpj phoneand now have chashma so wanted to upgrade and check the phinetoo and see the song of his firatrains post come away with me Norah Jones track on the phone screen........

Of all the tracks when back then him sharing the same with you many others tracks too and thus one he posts recently last year I guess tothusvery track on the phone when checking it out.......

To q chrisas cake called opera to being out a friend at Inorbit mall and she talmingsomeyhjng and you just looking out at the fly over relvijfing him away again one of those habits you just can't help cause that place too has tooooo many corners of him!!!!!

To q night like this cause the day tooooo today did bring him along and HOWWWWW!!!!!!

Some moments nqi it's just about the way they make you feel on the inside like nothing else priply could !!!!!!!

Some moments!!!!

Simplest of moments and the instant smile they get on you like right now is something else...

Knowing it's a line he doesn't like you crossing and yet the simplest of joys is always in the lilst of things!!

Nai!!!?

Some moments!!!!

 Some moments this strong the sound of his words on Skype if had another life and heart would’ve wasted on you……what writer dimaaag words he used to come up with!!!!!

Some song lyric and the sound of his words to this girl in chudidar ahead it’s like you are pulled out of something and drowned into something this beauuuuutiful!!!!!

And this you it comes out of it is BEAUTIFUL!!!!!

Some feeeels some words and the waaaaay they can make you feel even years after is beyond logics…

The magical sound of his words…!

Something's!!

 Again one of those things of some days on the calendar!!!!!

Also something’s you can and some I guess just bout the way it is…

His love and logic for the 3 dots of stars aligned straight on the Christmas Eve and how he asks you to look for it across the sky as he rushes to his terrace to see the same…

Ever since then this one ritual of looking for the same and tonight wit yesterdays vishu thing weird state of mind but that story for some other time…

For now not being able to sleep get on insta and first post you see is of this a Christmas tree formation of a cluster of stars…

Something’s nai just beyond any logic I swear!!

He did tell you back then itself karely you can’t really sense between the wrong person or right a poor judge of character too naive exactly same thing what bhayya did say back being the first one to say it and the ditto same thing years after he says the same…….

Last night after meeting vishu stands right even today…

It’s the way he knew you that well THAT well!!!!!!

For now it’s this Christmas magic of stars…

Somehow never too upset or lost to believe, still believe in Magic I guess…!

15 years!!!!!!!!!

 A 15 years LONG dream n wish to see his name on screen and fiiiiiiiinally to see live it for real bahadur added tho!!!!!!

All tears very very HAPPY tears with a fiiiiinally screaming inside of you...

It's that feeeeeeeel of having lived dreamt of a dream together at some point in life and after years to visually live it all by yourself where things have changed north pole South pole but the dream remained the same...that wish remained the same!!!!!

And even after years and CHANGES it stillllll feeeels the same...

That moment to hear him talk bout it that moennt to hold him as he spoke bout niladris concert at opera bout success hardships and his aim in life and 15 years after to live it this very moment...

HAPPIEST PROUDEST moment of your life...!

From that feeeeeel of it has his hands on it to seeing glimpses and maybe traces of him with ... Dots his style of writing...

To finally waiiiiiiting for the credits and finalllllllllllly seeing his name on screen as earlier blue canvas you couldn't on your own visually live it for yourself but fiiiiinally this one......

PROUDEST heart right now!!!!!!!

And still!!!!!

 Something's you know you have to now and you are trying your best and somethings you know you just can't...

The second you reach home had to be THIS!!!!!!!!

Donno!!!!

 Donno what to call this what's this why are you here but this strong urge to just write it out right right now!

Early morning call time for shoot and struggling to sleep and this moment how do you still even doesn't make any sense how do you even train your own mind off it.......

Like again some switch something that put off so it stops doing this overworking bit of it.......this strongly how's it even possible when you are doing your best with your mind...

It's the waaaaaay it still feels like this moment or after too...

Why are you like this somethings nai!!!!!!

How to train a dragon still there how to train your own mind practicality 0...

THIS strongly with his voice too with his words too!!!!!

It's your mind you know NOW but this way too?!

Sound!

 Wake up with something just mins back wanted to write but now somehow like even right now you actually came here to write a moment that strong and that one line stays with you since... Why do you do what you do!

This random mixed playlist you play and when you wake upto that this new song playing never heard before that very moment....in that zone you immediately try to make a playlist named mornings and that line again why do you do what you do...

Some questions somehow stay with you nai...!

As ironic as they maybe they still do like that one hit of a realisation!!!!!!!

Love aint a thing!!!!!!

Ick!!!!

 All this while it’ just was you and your mind that’s bout it!!!!!!

Like suddenly you feel like wanting to disappear for a bit…..

U don’t even know right now what to make sense or feel right now……all your presence does is give him that ick where even the lilst of his work appreciation annoyed him that bad!

Standing in the middle of nowhere kinda weird feel to make sense or understand it’s just been your mind all this while ALL THIS WHILE through moments dreams and all just been you alone……

Just you all this while

Moments!

 Some moments feel like one tight slap on your face!

What to what!

Maaaaaaaaaagic!!!!!

 Whaaaaaaaat is this even!!!!!!!

Whaaaaaaaat do you even call moments like these!!!!!!

At the doc cause of this jhingakimaaaki rashes all over your arms now suddenly like morning just face was red now both arms this red and waiting for the turn and check WhatsApp now ayyyaaaaaaaaaa he posted the story almost same time when you'd been feeling weird away......

Something's naiiiiii at the doc with abbiiiiiiiug smile on now some levels of Khushi I swear vereeee level only!!!!

Had to had toooo hit a heart away......

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaa singaaaaaaa singaaaaaaaaa whatttteeeee beauuuuty only I swear!!!!!!

This your face right now can't hide won't hide!!!!!!!

Ironic mornings!!!!!

 This major missing when you don’t wake up with a himcoming!!!!!

Like it reflects in your overall mood that one feeeeeeel of not having met him hits max!!!!

U feel off you look off that stage of mind getting ready for work into the kitchen for coffee straight.. at the kettle still that thing in mind if he does put a story of trailer out on WhatsApp too like he did for Instagram you might like it and he doesn’t post , it was that self lost talk mode you were on and your mom on call with her sister who has suddenly decided to be friends with her after all these years……and the second she mentions Versova on the call regarding something and that one feeeeeeeeeeel in you in the kitchen close your eyes and there he is amidst the smoke as the smoke starts to clear his face emerges through eyes high that lil smile on him him looking his gorgeousuuuuuuu best in that knit kinda sweatshirt the way the fabric hangs on his body the waaaaay his face looks that high and BEAUUUUUUUUUTOFUL at once…….

And immediaaaaately switch off the kettle head to the workout like you just HAD TO!!!!!!!

It was a straight up strength and dance session today missing the cardio cause you were in that rush and that feeeeeeeeeeel as you stretch the first stretch itself there he was on his couch as he drops you to live that beauuuuuuty of him the aaaaay he would adoooooooorably chuckle first looking at you sinking into the couch of his and the waaaaay he would lean over and come closer slowly frame by frame not ekdum se…….

That beauuuuuuuuty of him to live his details charlie how you used to loooooooooooooove it like more than first feeling him on your skin you loooooooooved how he felt right through the eyes too through your senses each n every sense in you living him away feeeeeeeeeling him away from a distance when he was just bout to come close like you looooooved those seconds before too…

It’s like you could sense him divingfff away inside of you without even touch of him as yet…it’s that feeeeeeeeel of becoming all him you lose that sense of yourself lose the sense of the surrounding sound any visual around and it’s just him and all HIM in that moment…

His eyes his smile his cheek his chin his forehead the way the strands of hair fall on his forehead as it goes messy the way his arms move hands almost reaching out to you his body just bout to fall over you it’s those seconds before and how you looooooooooooved trippin over him in those few seconds too…to that need to listen to his music from then random rab lace was for Skype too like concentric circles one…

U loooooooved getting high on him with this track playing in your headset him on the screen fooking his psy beedi away and the waaaaaaay he would tell you how I would love to scan your brains right now to know chalta kya tere dimaaaag mein right now when you watch me like this…

It’s always been him the source the feeeeeel the mode the love the life to getting high….. the waaaaaay it makes you come alive it’s that feeel charlie when you just knowwwwwww it’s this bas THIS IS It There is to it kinda feeeeeel everytime you lived him…

Today to feeeeeeeeel him with you from today and also as you close your eyes to live him the Versova one moving with you on his couch doing sometimes nothing but taking those swirls over sometimes falling off the couch him lifting you up and again doing the same his face closest to yours your hair over his face it’s that closeness and the waaaaaay he was loving living it away that way just chuckling away sometimes and sometimes just the stare…

that sense of belonging and knowing that’s where you belong…!

All it took today get this him highddddddddddd like right now too was the term Versova and how you missed it that baaaaaadly away!!!!!!

To seeing yourself post the him highhhd session face red hair wild and also one of those last few times you are seeing your hair like this……red or brown finallllly balayage colouring it also what has been on your mind lately!!!!!

This beauuuuuuty this looooooooove to get high on him like this…

Visuals!!!

 Trying to get in the sleep early these days just sooooo you can have the time in the mornings for the him feels workouts!!!!!!

Not sure what it was this disturbed sleep like you keep changing sides and couldn’t sleep and this one time you see the tv on suddenly the visuals blur and you see a bean bag there and the black shirt and that feeeeeeeeeeeeeel there he was!!!!!!!

Rush to him and see he was fast asleep the waaaaaaaaaaay he looks that gorgeous daaaadi on hair messy arms stretched out those lil snores and that neeeedd to eat him up I swear then and there…..and instead you just go closer to get a zoomed up vision of him and the waaaaaaay he takes a deep breath and then smiiiiiiiiles that smile after his pouty lips whispers away howliii…….u say something you don’t remember and the waaaaaaay he slowly moves and you fataaaak se take his face in your hands and the waaaaaaaaaaaay he just stays that way as you go closer to live his details away and he doesn’t move a bit with his face still in your hands…..he tilts a lil to the side and kisses your hand away still looking at your palm you go closer and chummi away every detail of his like you used to back then……..and the waaaaaaaay he chuckles away saying kidhar nai jaru mein tu apna time leke kar don’t rush but you just couldn’t there was that rush Iin you to make sure to kiss every detail of his and not miss out on any……to his lips just bout to and the way he whispers away Tera ho Gaya toh Mujhe bolna…….

And that very moment close your eyes cause the waaaay that moemnt felt like you’d lived pehle bhi just that this him was from today’s him open your eyes to see him again and that rush in him that transition in him the way his face changes that beauuuuuuuuuuuuutifully looking you in the eye with that wild wild face on tells you I missed you….

That very moment that level of excitement in you to just realise him saying that to you like you jump on him or something it was and you shake just bout to fall off the couch and you wake up…

That feeeeeeeeeeeeeeel in that moment that missing in that moment was MADNESS like you were that restless his details every lil detail of him rushing through you and tye waaaaaaaaay you’d missed him last night or early this morning it was just just madness I say!!!!!!! 

First thing workout and you get on YouTube for the playlist and first thing you check for is the trailer and it had been just 2 mins since it was uploaded ayyyaaaaaaaaaa that Khushi I swear vere level only totalllly!!!!!

Now that you know lil bout editing whattttttaaaaa crisp trailer it was like even for people who are not fans of the artist would want to know more about the story kinda beauty it was…….in your mind almost the first one to see kinda happiness to justvrealsising it has his hands on it’s his work ITS HIS WORK!!!!!!!!!!!

Like there were these somersaults happening liiiiiterally inside of you just realising being the first ones almost to see and to see his work!!!!!!!!

To finalllllt the feeeeeels the waaaaaaaays you feeel him over post cardio and stuff the waaaaaays you feeeeel him is just beyond!!!!!!

You were on your back doing some inversion and that feeeeeeeeel of him over you with eyes shut too was MAGIC!!!!!!!!!

That strong feeeeeeeeeeeel of him on your skin the waaaay it makes you move feel yourself away smiling away face turning red with that rush of him was pure magic!!!!!

Something’s you write now and this feeeeeeeeel now!!!!!!!

First time!!!!

 Andddd for the first time time ever the fear doesn't fear when hitting his story "legally"...

The last time you were a drink down and instead of wanting to see his picture you galti se view the story away.....

And today you just wanted to live that feeling of watching his story from your own account......again one of those very lil things but in your head it all just makes it better in some way after a VERY long time...

And it felt soooooooooo good strangely weirdly beautifully!!!!!!

Thuuu thuuuuu thuuuuuing away again...

To this another feeeeeel when you just can't just caaanttt wait for his yo yo doc with that one thing on mind it has his hands on it his mind on it his hours of focus love and dedication on it it's THAT big and yiu just can't wait so much so that you keep rechecking in the new section to see if the trailer is updated post 12am!!!!!

Him I tell you living him I tell you and LOVING him i tell you!!!!!

Every single time you get this excited bout his work this much it always takes you back to the balcony Him talking bout his passion and love for all things movies...

And you only end up loooooving him that bit more, every single time...!

Moments!!!!!!

 To live him ayyyaaaaaaa can't say it enough times what it means to you!!!!!!!!!

To wake upto his face to live him in the himcoming to feel him to see him smile move breathe talk chuckle away to just watch him move the waaaaaaaay he moved today can't say it enough of times what AND HOW much it means to you!!!!!!!

Be it the dream yesterday for obvious reasons can't write out and the way it has his priority sound as the background music to the same one this morning!!!!!!

Him breathing the rush in his breath him the God in black I swear like you can't think understand make sense beypoooond that one visual of him it's pure gorgeous highest level of beautiful madness I say!!!!!!

Like you wake up you had to rush for work and in between again change tracks and get in the rushed workout cause you just haaaadddddd to feel him on your skin again...

Can't be anything else but magic the waaaaaay you feeeeeeeel him with you move along with you on your skin.......that sense of him breathing over your shoulder n arms that one face of his from the dream the waaaay he was moving like the waves of the ocean ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaa THAAAAAAAT one beauuuuuuuuuty he is in totality!!!!!!

The sound of him saying aisaaaaaaaa in his usual style like even now in the traffic jam you can still hear his voice saying it like you were that desperately restless to feel him that need to feeeelhim again rush up and get out of the house so had to post it now the waaaaaay right now you could hear the sound of his voice from the dream this morning.......it's like now he talks to you as he comes it's not just the whispers it's like talk talk kinda himcomings lately.......

Singaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa you pure gorgeousness I swear!!!!!!!

If onlyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!

Awed!!!!!!

 It’s that necessary for to be in awe of the one you are in love with…

In your case you were in awe of him even much before falling in love with him…

Right from the very start to even recently him editing in the black tee you are still or maybe more in awe of him!!!!!!

Like if you are not you lose that sense of being inspired fascinated amused by their existence and the whole point of loving someone is more bout how fascinated amused and inspired you are by their existence that also makes you love them on the whole and not just a side a part or a version of them…

And you be him walking talking smiling chuckling away playing with lucky playing with ringo moving loving you playing with you wrestling with you being mad at you or even just standing there being a bird raising his arms away looking up you have always been in awe of him…

In awe of his complete self of him no wonder even in moments like these like this close and intimate you sitting there adoring his existence away and the waaaaaaay he would just knowwwwwwww something’s in your mind and the way he would raise his eyebrows asking you what you thinking without saying a word……

This mind right now this high soooooooooooo high right now on him from that one visual !!!!!!

The way you just can’t think right now this beautifully blurred out right now!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa you gorgeous gorgeous lil big adoooooooorable thing!!!!!!!

How only if only!!!!!!!!

Him=LOOOOVE!!!!!!

 Those initial days of teaching at the school and you were working on your telgu those days to communicate better and that day at his place bringing the lunch dabbas from his kitchen to his room the first thing he asks you as you were placing the plates and dabbas serving him the lunch tho kitta telgu bolri seekhi kuch…..speak to me in telgu something and you say something and he speaks back in telgu saying baigan you know and stuff and after lunch searching for something to watch on his laptop you getting the water he asks you to say something in telgu again you do say something and the waaaaay him still looking at the laptop asks you to say something again coming a lil closer to him and you go closer to his leg on his side of the bed and say something in telgu daaaaamn can’t remember what it was the waaaay he puts the laptop aside and in ishaara asks you to come over his lap and you do asks you to say again and as you were saying something holds your lip with his hand asks you why does your lip do this while saying another language even back then you used to do this with your lip saying beautiful your way……and laughs away saying meri stops and then continues telgu mein accent marti and still holding your lip looks you and asks you to say it again…….it’s that whole of him in tat moemnt like he was going back in time you were shocked on the inside how did he manage to remember that tiniest detail bout how your lip moves saying a specific word after all that while and distance…like on the outside you do your best to not react cause he wouldn’t share it then seeing your excitement over it……the waaaaaaay he brings his face closer holds you closer and looks you in the eye raising his eyebrow asking what’s up say again that very moment charlie I swear it’s like there are these snapshots of him from moments like these this clear in your eyes like even right now as you write close your eyes for a bit the waaaaaaaaaay he is right there in that very space you on him his face that closest to you looking you in the eye giving you the feeeeels away…..

It’s the way he stops from saying meri gf smiles away knowing you did get what he was bout to say and also why he stopped and then anyway continues the line away bout your accent…..asks you to say Nacharam again chal dekhe if you say it correctly now cause he did try teaching you how to say it right the earlier meet……and that close to him his face that close to yours you say it and the waaaaay he just looks at your lips moving his tiniest lil facial expression charlie I swear it’s like lil beauuuuuuuutiful framework of an art like one frame after the other moves it’s one detail after the other his features move like first it’s the waaaaaay his eyes change that sparkle that almost high stare in his eyes to the way he blinks to next the way he would hold his lip tilt his face a lil that lil beautiful shake in his shoulder like one frame one feature after the other to the way his hands the way they move over you the way he would keep going back n forth with his face like come a lil closer and then move away and then just watch you get restless over it and smiiiiiile that smile of his……

This mind right now the more you write and relive him from then!!!!   

THIS MIND RIGHTTTTTTT NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

Visuals!!!!!

 This magic of some sounds!!!!!

Writing one moment of his Dd space playing this mixed two feet playlist away and out of all the tracks comes this one famous lost words…

The THE drive track in his vento back then to you have NO absolute idea cause you don’t even remember seeing the road ahead or beside JUST HIM all him is all you remember from that evening…….

This THIS Feeeeeeeeeeel now this sudden state of you now with instant goosebumps all over as you heard thus after long and the waaaaaay it’s bringing back moments visuals from that drive!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Connecting reality…!

 Heard a thing bout connecting flights?! Lately you’ve been living away connecting reality kinda himcomings!!!!!!

Last night in middle of watching black doves to passing out to waking up to this beauuuuuuuuty of him!!!!!!!

He was just on the bed in a deep burgundy shirt and chaddis looking his beauuuuuuuuutoful best just that gorgeousness or him the visual still this clear scrolling over the phone or something and he asks you to say something in telgu and you say something not sure what but the waaaaaaay he starts to chuckle over it holding his stomach and laughing away literally and you run to him over him and sit over him…and the way he throws literally the phone aside and as you ask complain bout him laughing at you and stops you and asks you to repeat the thing in telgu again as you say something a line or something the waaaaay he kisses you away in the middle of you talking…moves a lil away and says it again asks you to repeat it and you do again does the same thing stops moves a lil away and the waaaaaaaaay this time he looks like his expression his complete face that look on him his eyes his complete face charlie BEAUUUUUTIFUL and this time you chummi eat his face away and in between he holds your hair pulls it a lil just like he used to and you wake up……few strands of hair under your own arm as you change side and that feeeeeeeeeeeeel to go see yourself and your face was red it had that him glow cause it always used to be like this your face your skin transforming away post him kissing you away that way!!!!!!

And your face had that same glow same redness and that feeeeeeeeel of his hands in your hair that one visual of him being that close to your face that color on him his eyes his smile his chin cheek forehead his nose your heart right there ayyyaaaaaaaa the scent of him like reliving the moment away this one feeeeeeeeeeel!!!!!!

U wake up and that high on him watching the series blindly cause you straight away land into a moemnt exactly similar to this one at his Dd space…

That striking of realisation was a downer making you realise how long it’s been and how baaaaaaaaaaad you miss him away……

Today another moemnt when somebody comments over your telgu in the apartment lobby and laughing over the accent you smiling away cause it was all connecting away to all things him yet again…..

There are things that alrandom but the kinda happiness they can give you is beyoooond logics I say!!!!!!

Himcomings!!!!!!

 Moments like these ayyyaaaaaaaaaaa this happy face this happpy heart this happppppppy skin this happpppppiest soul you wake up just by him coming!!!!!

Another one of those times when wishing away this moemnt for real like from being wine high passing out waking up now to that feeeeeeel of him and finishing the glass now with this slow hazyyyyy himhighdddd state of mind now…..

Just cause your mind refuses to be fully awake and slip into this reality as of now…..like in your head you again reliving that feeeeel of him on your pillow still living every detail of his away…….

This mind this face now you are just just happyyyyy!!!!!

But that realisation sinking in of making that faaakkkity mistake of clicking his story away and hoping wishing praying doesn’t irritate him enough for him to!!!!!!!!

For nowwwww this happpppy himhighdddd just cause the waaaaay he just came…

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

I swear charlie if he only had the slightest of idea how much he is loooooved missed and adoooooored!!!!!!

Every single time to live him like this this feeeeeeereeel it overloads the insides of you away with!!!!!!

This instant buzzzzzzzz of happiness like you just can’t stop smiling now akele akele with this off the ground wali feeeel rushing throug you right now!!!!!!

Onedinkdown!!!!!

 Isniiiir it funny how shddenky you become much bolderrrrr and stronger one dinkedown!!!!!!

Like the fqar hits you hitting play on his story but itstilllllhasnt sunkeneee in yet!!!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaeeeeee singaaaaaaaaaaaa hiwwwwwwwe only you are bejnffffff edibilyyyyy missed away now abijeeeee ke abijeeeeeee

Ohshitoffuck!!!!!

 Exaaaaclryyeeee 1.5 wine glass down and you have your epicfccccccc ohshitoffuckohshitoffuck moment already!!!!!

Habits I swear you click to see him from.upckose for his picture and the story plays now this huggeeeeeegeggeeeee feaf if he blocks you back again!!!!!!!

This one loveeeeee routine u got used to and now the himhhigheeeeee goes almost down realising what maaaakieeeee moment yovev just had!!!!!!!!!

Why doooo u why woydokeeeeee u!!!!!!!!

Jowheeeeee do you even!!!!!!!!!!

Singaaaaaaaaaa teraaaaaaa yahhhhbuzzzzzz!!!!!!!

Faaaaaaaaaackityyyyy fackkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!

This oneeeee highddddd out feeeeeer now!!!!!!!!

Himhiiiiighd!!!!!!

 This beauuuuuuty of some mornings you wake up with and even with no himcoming that moooood snoozing the alarm away still on bed to just live him away on WhatsApp and have a sleep talk literally just watching him there…….and still talking to him you actually sleep for a bit as it was a very very late night working and writing him……

And that feeeeeeel even after waking up from that 5-10 mins nap no himcoming but still that hiiiigh on him……getting ready for work as had to be at work early for some appointments and mid way the new househelo kranthi is a die hard romantic with her ringtones like every other day there’s another romantic track ringing…..today there was this Telugu track but the initia sound of it pulls you away to all things him with this another track you had found months back……some movie your mom was watching and this track plays and you were in another room the vibe of the track and the line kanulo ni roopame eyes with your beauty is all you could understand to here and there words with bhaasha and stuff…..but that line stayed with you!!!!!

It’s strangely the whole vibe of the track takes you always back to these two moemnts him leaving for Bangalore in his room with just you and him and the Holi day with him again……

The waaaaaaaaay packing his clothes he would still keep coming around you and hold you by your waist just stay for a bit and get back to his packing laptop stuff…..and still checking his other shirts asking him to take that too instead of this and he would again come hold you stay on your shoulder and keep saying nai hora merse kya kare like you literally had to push him to pack his stuff……that one feeeeeel the way he keeps taking you to the mirror side of his room and just hold you and see your reflection with him like he was saving that visual away with him for the days he was going to be away for…

Like he does that multiple times just standing there holding you and seeing you with him the same on Holi too…..like this track is all bout those moments with him that beauuuuuty of him and everytime you listen to this it’s that visual of him with you the restless missing sound of his voice as he keeps whispering away in your ears……

Like you just couldn’t get ready and instead switch to working out like you just had to…….to this other his track of tabu and ayyyyaaaaaaaaaa this beauuuuuuty of living him feeeeeeling him away with his music….

Post workout loving every bit of the him yo yo singaaaaaaa to that most loved moments himversions…

How dooooo you even feeeeeeeeeel him away like this as you move as you stretch that sense of him that onenvisual on loop against his bathroom wall him holding you and stopping in between the chummi as you open your eyes him right there with his face a lil away and just watching you and that weirdly beauuuuutiful feeeeel from wanting more of him in his chummi to being watched by him you asking more…..to the way after a few chuckles of his the waaaaaay he would come close his forehead over yours and just look you in the eye with that one smiiiiiiiiile of his and slow whisper karely kya horaaaa……even writing now that echo of his voice saying it right now!!!!!!!

This was his one of his habits he would do and today as you move stretching with your head down all you could feeeel live was his face his forehead his skin his smile his lashes touching yours away……like this one moment on loop and that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel of him the way it was moving you making you touch your own face neck arms away cause that’s how strongly you feeeeeeel him through n through!!!!!!

It was magical almsot!!!!!!!

Something’s you live and now write and it’s like playing all over again!!!!!!!!!!

The waaaaaaaay it all makes you re realise why it’s always been him, this beauty of becoming someone’s, this beauty of eventually becoming someone you Love…!

Visuals!!!!

 To from there when mom asks for winter veggies from what he used to call back then chindi colony and she gets down and stay back in the car play his drive song away like that was your recent most fav one just the waaaay it somehow just felt special for reasons not known…

And the waaay it all syncs that beautiful with the mood with the him vibe you were trippin away on the rear view with flashes of light back n forth in swoop motions like a film of life playing in the lights mode it just felt that beautiful with his music cause tear views too are that special….him on drives with his sister in front and you at his back seat he would have those wordless conversations wit you through the rear view and sometimes hold your leg away hand away feet away from the sides……

Tooooo many feeeeels toooooooo maaaannnnyyyyyy!!!!!

This heart this mind was that fulllll and the way by the time you reach home the missing also gets that beautifully worse……

To even writing it out now it all hits back again and howwwww!!!!!!

To the first story he posts on WhatsApp status for the first time and you just only don’t have the guts in any of your balls to hit a play on it…..cause I swear charlie how much you’ve missed him around like this to just be able to live him like this and you didn’t want to ruin this by upsetting him away over it!!!!!

Some Khushi’s I swear that special that sacred almost tooo way toooo precious!!!!!

Moments from yesterday your lil precious lil lkhushis of him…!