Sound...

 from that sound of his voice to that one moment when he looks you in te eye just plays on loop and the more you write now the more you feel that moment feel him from the moment...

mind i tell you just doesnt learn or listen to that outer reality thats playing..... its like its in its own lil wonderland still wandering around reliving the moments places person you belong the most at... 

kittaaa bhi try karlo bas nai hotaa har baaar with every block you decide this time bas iske baad nai hota you will just let him be let go of it all just change the way you are change how you feel how you think you know just leave it there and let him be.... not feel a thing not think a thing and stick with the way it made you feel how bad it hurt you again and this time stick with it.....

but har baaar whoi charlie there are things you can do smthing bout which is in your control and this one thing bout your life bout you shuroo see is never been upto you... when it comes to Him!

donno why how or what it is, but ye mere bas ka nai hai.... it just is not upto you !!

kyaaa ho jaaata ki nai maloom the second you decide to take that step away from him and the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay he comes the very same day and till you correct tha wrong that one vibe of the dream remains the same over n oever again till you correct it.... if its bout him wantig to keep away keep you away why do you get these dreams bout him pulling you back asking you to stay asking you to hold him asking you to just be there its that feeeling charlie that you cant fight or ignore....

and shuroo se bout him its always been bout that flow the way it makes you go with it like you cant do anythng bout it..... even writing your state of mind from this morniing you sure sound like one mess.... hoping if you write the confusion out it will sort your mind out in the process of doing so!!

but the more you write now mention him now and this himmmmmmm with ever blink how do you unfeel sthing how do you unsee smthing !!!!!!!!

soooooo yahhhh from that moment to seeing chikudkayi at home and the him again on plate this time that meet chikudkayi with him where the sec he spots it in the dabba pushes it towards you ad tells you main nai khata tu he khaa and takes the other dal instead..... and you still looking at the dabba making the face and that adoooooorably asks you tu bhii nai khaati isku and you nod sayin a no and adds his bit of daal into it and feeds you that one bite and i swear charlie chikudkayi never tasted felt the same....

ever since  then it still is your most loved one nt because of the horid taste it tstll tastes like bt cause the waaaaaaaay it brings Him along !!!!!!!!

every single time !!!!

to that moment when working out and this new love for techno while working out andyooy just play some random playlist and this one track like it just screamed out that feeeeeel from the mornin in that one line.....and that feeeeeeeling dhadaaam bolkeee of all the things of all the tracks it had to be this one....

music sound can make you feel a gazillion of things takes you to the zillion n more places makes you allows you relive the most longed feeeels in just a beat.... with just that one humm of a sound!!

this mind today all day today and even more now as you wrte it just feeeeeeeling this beautifully weird.....

very weird !!!!!!!!!!!!!

how do you stop your mind from playing that oe visual one most loved visual of your life on loop !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!