To live Him...

 it was one of the most weirdly beauty of a dream...

with that feeeeeeeeling ever since october that much khushi of having found him with that much of pain too not having him now....

a day before his birthday off to work and it starts to rain that bad and  that urgent need to just be some place his that rush of all him wih the rains and you ask the driver to take that sudden turn and ends up with the first baaad dent kinda thing on the side of the car and yet you ask the driver to just rush cause the water now with flooding roads gets that risky off late....

from genpact to the turn and you see that temple same temple on the side on that same mountain top and realize it was the wrong turn and with the heavy rains barely could see teh street and it was that deserted but that beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuty of some places charlie.... you were there after decades after Him... prolly the first time even that close to the stadium place.....

and that feeeeeeeeeeel of him in the corners around same temple the sound of the temple bells to the silence lived with him where he takes you saying it was his most fav place.... to just standing there beside with him for hours both your fones in his car and just living that beauty of the place, it was more bout you making up your mind trying to make sense of the change you were living for the first time... finding comfort in someones presence liking someones presence living someones closeness that wasnt making you want to move away or fear the presence or closeness.... like it felt that familiar He felt that beauuuuuuuuutifully familiar....

that day even with the heavy rains stop in the middle of the street for a bit plug in his music and relive that day.... its thatbeauuuuuuuuutifully clear charlie.... even after all these years....

where he was still looking around the place and you living that beauty of him.... the waaaaaaaaaay just watching him lving his details was making you happy making you smile... to seeing him that close to you and how for the first time it didnt scare you with that sense of moving away and that very moment he looks at the distance between you two cause you were standing that close to each other and then that one lil smileeeeee of his.... and the waaaaaaaaay he just looks at you and you move a lil closer still with distance and he smileees again this time a bigger smile and then loosk back at the view and  you that beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuutifully lost in all him.... for those few hours living him living tht silence of that beautiful place was you realizing he did become much much more than just a friend to you.... 

to even much later with that love of his to talk bout those initial days with you to share what and how he felt bout you with you he did mention how he intentionally used to spend that kinda time with you to just let you make you realize what you felt for him what you shared with him and even more to make you realize his love for you...

kowing your love for nature which again he did know it already back then he takes you  to the stadium place and actually lets you live that feeeling making you realize his love for you.... 

sooooooooooooo yahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

when the same very place did hold many a memories your first ever nose chummi the waaaaay he loved to eat your nose pooora away was there for teh first time that color of his love over you was there getting caught by the cops to just living him living that beauuuuuuuuuty of him late in the evenings holding him by his arm over his shoulder his music playing in the car sitting over the steps and just living that feeeeeeeeeeel of his love.....

that day with rains that feeeeeeeeeeeeeling it left you with !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THAT much love !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its this thing bout living him in his places through this month every year....

any place of his to just be there and live him relive his love for you there....

to just relive that feeeeeeeeeeeling of being loved by Him...!