Moments...

 Some moments leave you wondering what it was even bout!!!!!

Last nite watching some random movie you passed out cause that's what festive work load does to you, it's been one of the most beautifully ironic of weeks with some lil lil moments that made you relive versions of his love for you from back then....

But it's these lilst of moments that sort of don't make any sense and yet in that moment like always anything to do with Him becomes your ultimate priority...

Passed out watching some random movie for a bit what's funny is this alone time of your after dinner mom asleep in her room that beautifully quiet all around with his music playing and watching something random by your own.... It's like even in those quiet moments flashes of him rushing through you in moments your own.....

Through the sleep you feel his touch over your face trying to hold and you take that usual test of living his presence take that deep breath to smell his presence and obv it was Him... That close to your face trying to hold your face just like be used to back then taking holding away your big cheek inhis hand and you try to move or smthng and the waaaaaaaay he that adooooooorably in his sleep tone voice whispers lemme see you noo lemme hold you... And the waaaay it moves you shakes you up cause he sounded just like back then thsoe beauuuutiful cold nites of being over the fone hearing him sleep listening to his sleep breaths as he still keeps murmuring something in his sleep tone adoooooooiirable sleep tone voice still saying checking whilst him fallin asleep karely you there tu soyi nai naa....

That exact same tone of his voice after decade same cold nite.... It's this love for the smell of October too, cause it brings back those moments lived in your balcony listening to him fall asleep still talking stilll checking if you were there.... Like every October that smell in the evenings brings bacl that beauuuutifully adorable version of his..... Years after, still does, still feels the same...!

Soooooo yah!!!!!

The way it shakes you up cause he sounded like that Him from back then.....u get up look around movie still on you were on the sofa his music n smell still there that makes you feel his presence..... That feeeeeling Charlie after you wakeup from moments like these....

Take a selfie and put up on whatsapp.... Cause you donno any other way to fill that feeling up..... With time and years of living his presence this way the way you get to know things bout your own self you are all n more bout how love and life feels than to be on the more practical side of life or love.... Like the logic or way of love how it needs to be makes lil or no sense.... To you alone you know what and how it feels and means to you.... Cause even if you did explain someone they wouldn't get it, cause it's what just you feel...

Sitting here for the first time with your second chai cause you needed it today mind still lost in that moment why did it feel that real.... His touch his smell his hand holding your face his voice that real!!!!!

It's a bad pic def you look worst side of sleep cause in that moment of rush taking a selfie you almost were still asleep.... But then you heard him more importantly felt Him...

This one month!!!!!

Changed you transformed you your life for life...

Him...!