Essence…!

 The other day night rather on your way back home these numbers be it on billboards or car numbers being 2710 2110 2772 2727 being your most favourite one like there were one after the other and the way it had you all smiles taking em to be signs everywhere to some white shirt white shoe guy anything to everything at all that beauuuuutifully in sync to this track playing on loop and yob realise this beauty of music…

His music…!

The way certain tracks hold THAT much essence of a moemnt even years after exactly the same way that you’d felt listening to it in that moment…

Eyes shut the song dm from Versova playing and the waaaaaay you could still feeeeel him the touch of him the stare of his his lips nibbles him holding feeling your arm your fingers your nose every detail of yours just living it all away and as you try to move or something to get water and he holds you not wanting you to move letting you move an inch away from him and instead stretches out to the bottle and gives you then n there to have it the waaaaaaaaaaay you could feel him scream away I missed you I love you without saying a word just by his actions that clear…….

His fone ringing checks it for a second leaves it aside and the only other thing he made sure to keep a check on was his music…like if some other track plays he would change it and then look at you and then it play like syncing the music with the vibe of the moemnt kinda thing of his every single time…

It was all magic charlie like even when you think of it now the waaaaaaay he was that day it’s that same feeeel of few moments from opera away from everything else and just that need to live each other away!!!!!!!

No wonder the next day when you wake up and see yourself in the mirror you weee all covered with colors of his love away…….the MOST That he had ever left on and over you!!!!!

The neck the complete arm cheek chin like all the first time spots arm forearm being the first too…….

Like you didn’t even remember when did he manage all that away cause that’s HOW lost you were in him!!!!!!

AGAIN Where to where only it went!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS mind now!!!!!!!!!!

Ditto moment!!!!!!

 That moment when you wake up and stay up for a bit cause you couldn’t get over how HOW close you were to chummi him and you woke up without it!!!!!!

And ekdum realise it was the same moment from Versova too when you were at his knees trying to do his hairdo and ekdum see he raises his arms wide open like that final green flag for you to runnnn rushhhhh to him to hold him away!!!!!!

It al just feeeels this beautifully weird charlie sometimes when you think of it if things are the way you think they are then how is it that you still feel all this away feel him away in moments like these like he is there the way he is there the waaaaaays he makes you feel when he comes it’s just not a dream or a vision charlie the way it feels like a continuation like that word of his reaching out to you as crazy as this sounds writing out how is it that you still feel all this away!!!!!!

Feel his THAT much love away!!!!!!!!

That THAT One meet the visual of his clothes on somebody random and the way it just brought back that many moments with him where once when you fall off the couch wrestling with him and hit your head against plugpoint that bad and you blank out for  a second and that scares him away and you say to make things calm n normal again that you could see dinosaurs flying dinosaurs instead of those flying birds like they show in the carroons and the way he chuckles away that THAAAAAAT ADOOOOOOOOOORABLY holding your head massaging away and chummis you in that very moment saying I love you howli!!!!!!

In that moment you literally had to hold back your organs suck it all away hold your breath hold ALL OF YOU away inside just sooo you didn’t react slightestttt bhi to what he had just said in the rush of the moemnt as he was still holding yiu masaasging your head away and that THAT ALEVEL OF KHSUHI rushiiiiing inside of you where you could just runnnnn away to some mountain top and scream your organs out saying he just said he still loved me!!!!!!!!

Like to be that level of happy on the inside and stay all calm and non reactive on the outside was the ultimate test of it all I say!!!!!

Something’s you relive and write now close your eyes and you can still hear him say from that very moment his voice that clear that sound beauuuuuuuutifuk sound of his chuckle this THIS clear!!!!!!!!!!

Versova!!!!!

 It did get that bit beautifully worse last night with that memory roll and blend of gin n vodka was again a bad idea specially when the proportions have gone that wrong!!

And you leave it at that but the waaaaay he comes last night post that memory roll still over the couch again the usual place of sleep mostly Saturday nights and as you turn and sniff his beauuuutfup presence away with the same track playing on loop and the way the insides of you smile away with that feeeeel he is here now…stay that way for a moment or two and the way his hands shake you up trying to move you wake you up just so you see him that he really was there…

Without a word nothing just moving you with a lot of force just so you wake up like his texts back then uthjaaaaa karely uthjaaaaa the same way his hands last night…as you open your eyes knowing somehow he would be gone he still instead was there again a dream with him in a very VERY sexy black cotton shirt as many buttons unbuttoned possible looking his gorgeoooooooously sexy self with a full grown daaadi ayyaaaaaaaaa even reliving that one visual of his face I swear charlie meraaa pooooora ka poooooooora heart n everything right there !!!!!!!

And he spread his arms wide open like soon as you see him that THAT one smile of his and the way he slowly in sharukh style spreads his arms wide open and you rush to that very sign to hold him away like that literally lifts you off the couch fataaaaaaaak de to just hold him away cause that’s HOW bad you kissed last night holding him touching him as you were writing out that moemnt from Versova and the waaaaay he was right there in that very moment in that very way that you’d missed him that bad with…the second you hold him tightest possible the way he runs his hand over your hair and makes those sounds again just like he used to back then trying to comfort the rush in you and you take deep breaths trying to smell his scent as much as you could feel his back his shoulder away as much as you could and you try to move to chummi him or something and you wake up..

And that THAT one feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel charlie auyyaaaaaaaaaa mera chummiii reh Gaya naaa!!!!!!!

Like you literally scream out low soon as you realise he was gone and you were up!!!!!!!!

Some moments!!!!

 Sorting the wardrobe out few sips down the ginlane with this track playing on a night like this one and the waaaaaaaaay this one kurta of his drops over from the very first shelf over your head…

Something’s are just beyond you cause yin didn’t even touch that shelf as it’s been untouched for months or perhaps over an year now…and now sorting the rest of the stuff out and with a state of mind like this one it falls over your head and that fwwwwwwwl charlie!!!!!!!

Knowing now maybe he has moved on cause it did sure look like and yet to feeeel away live away moments like these!!!!!!!

Beyond logics I say!!!!!!

Kittuuuu kitteeee!!!!!

 Ayyyaaaaaaaa drives on a sexyyyyyy evening like this kittuuuuuuu tunmmmm kitteeeeee yyaaad areee miyaaaaw abiiii k abiiiii!!!!

Ichkiiiii aajana tumkuuu aniii k abhiiii!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaww kittteeeeeee armaaan haiiiii barsooooooooooiiiii ka khwaab haiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If only you knew sliiiiiiuughtest bhi!!!!!!!!

HIMM!!!!!!

 Him just being him and that beauuuuuuutifully adooooorablu sexilyyyy being just him!!!!!!!

Just bout to land the chummi away and he gets off and back to his corner of the couch and for a moemnt you be there and that one look as he looks you in the eye a beauuuuutiful pull every single time…

The way it would immmediately fataaak se sway you off n away closer to him…get off and on your knees closer to him first talking bout something and then setting his hair away as he leans over more just so you do what you were that happily doing away……his johnnybravo style hairdo!!!!!!

From that moment to just finallllllly holding him away as for that moemnt he leans over a lil more and you bas couldn’t hold it back anymore the very first hug the second you hold him the way he almost lifts you off the floor as you were still on your knees by his knees…

Ab roti na tu the way agaaaaaain he knew what and how exactly you felt in that very moment still holding him the way he says that…….

SOME moment you relive feel over your arms and palms that touch of him to touch him to hold him to sniff him away from that close ayyaaaa to live that presence of him something’s you write and the way it suddenly blanks you out like this why did you even get into these details knowing how this would leave you feeling away but sometimes itteeeee zorseee yaad ata na ineee charlie this sometimes calms it away in some strange weird way making it worse at the same time…

HIM!!!!!!!

 Him ayyyaaaaaaaaa this one big sigh your heart feels and lives every single time you miss him this way!!!!!!!!

Years and years of missing!!!!!!!!!

People might remember biggest of days in relationships but his way to remember lilst of things bout you…to just know lilst of random most things bout you and know it thaaaaaaaaaat well!!!!!!!!

That one face this beauuuutifully still clear from that very moment as he realises and knew that the last time was with him and that one smile that follows after you mention the same that you never had it again…….

Play the music on his laptop starts to roll away with that one beauuuuuuutiful smile on him and starts to talk bout his work and stuff and you ask him bout things around his house smokes for a bit and then fataaak se gets off and on to your side of the couch and just lays over your lap…….

That THAT one feeeeeeling again this clear what and how do you feel like when suddenly you experience that sense of happiness literally on and over your lap that THAT was your ditto feeeel and view right there….

And that one sigh inside as you do your best to hold back your feels which he clearly used to mention and ask you not to tell him you loved him and you struggle to hold back that level of Khushi inside and there he goes with that one beauuuutiful sound of sigh loud and says I missed this and as he turns and comes closer to your stomach like literally resting over it and says you know I couldn’t feel this with anybody else and this very thing he had said back at his space too in Hyderabad again same feeel of a zillion questions how many laps he tried to look for that in and andar andar you just smile away thinking all that mattered was that moemnt now that he was finally there rest all part of the story of finding him…

It’s that feeeeel charlie knowing understanding what’s your real absolute most important priority and you just go by with it…to you in that moment all that mattered was he was there telling you exactly how he felt how much he missed you in his own way again and you were just happy very very happy with it…knowing thinking you weren’t the only one who missed him away all that while!!!!!!!

The way he moves over a bit and then closes his eyes and stays that way as you run through his hair just feel his forehead away dheere se to just live him away that way charlie ayyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa THIS heart now what do you even do with visuals like these that run this THIS clear as you write out the details and relive them that very same moment all over again!!!!!!!

If he only had the slightest idea I swear THIS missing today bhi!!!!!!!!!!