In the air…

 That day staying there it just feels still the same the air there still feels different like you are back in time same galli same buildings almost around except for a few minor changes nothing big like the place still looks and feels the same…

It’s strangely still that fresh like it was just yesterday he was there with you like then that day it didn’t feel like it’s been that many years since 2009…it all still was that very fresh him from then his love from then him everything from then still that fresh in you…

Like visually too closing your eyes he was there right there with you in that very moment same sky same air from back then same time back again…

Finally decide to leave there was on second of wanting to go around Ramanthapur too that street and then head studio but by then you were literally making sounds and crying and didn’t want to make it all worse as you were with the driver…..

That one place charlie everytime making you wonder how lucky luckiest you got there how happiest you were there in your life where back then it felt you did lack many things in life like material wise money wise wanting to buy him shirts gifts and couldn’t today it’s the opposite and yet the most important part of your life the core of your life itself is missing… HIM!!!!!!

To think of it now life did was complete ultimate state of happiness and bliss!!!!!!

Even writing now that same feeeel again you didn’t want to for this very reason……you never really know nai charlie what you have now in life back then will it later or not…

There were times when you did tell him too like share this very same thing with him back then when on days of too much love from him and you would raise both your arms in the car on your way back home and just scream away I’m just tooo happy tooo tooo happy!!!!

And he would ask ekdum se kyu and you would just hold him away like tightly just hold him away and he would get it chuckling away that adorably and that same tone of his voice calling you howli!!!!

And that very same there also used to be that sharing how sometimes being that happy also used to make you fear that thing and he would always tell you even if you are ok leaving I would never let you… tu chodi tho bhi mein nai chodtu terko kabhi be prepared am telling you now itself!!!!

There are things bout you and your life your heart knows long before you understand or make sense of, and finding a home in somebody is one such thing…

You may wander trying to make sense of things of the practical’s and the illogical ones too, but your heart truly knows once you find your home you just be… ignoring all the logics away you can’t move your home away or off from there it’s there it’s where it still finds its own calm in the weirdest of ways possible but also knows can’t find any other otherwise…

Being there even be it crying that day it still felt like home surrounded all by him and it still made you very happy surrounded by all him… there are not many moments you feel that way anymore ever since after Him…

Like it either is with his music in his places his himcomings in the mornings or right now writing him and living him again in your mind as you write now that makes you happy like soulfully happy…

Don’t feel this otherwise with nothing at all anymore !!!!!