HIM!!!!!!!

 To those finger food things!!!!!

At his place there always used to be boiled eggs over the table in a casserole kinda thing and this one thing around pickles!!!!!

And this one time with his sister and him late afternoon or something he offers you that sitting on the exact same side of the table as in the video the chair beside uncles…..

And you take one or two and the waaaaay he chuckles swaaaay at you and actually comes to your side puts it over his fingers and asks you to eat it off before his sister and you hesitate to and looks you in the eye and asks you to eat it one more time the waaaaaaay he looks at you and says it and you do……his sister saying that’s how you need to eat these and asks him to offer her too one!!!!

Feeding both of you goes back to his place and looks at you again and that one smiiiiiiile!!!!!!!!

Not having met him for years now not seen him felt him heard him for the longest of times and today to hear his voice the sound of his chuckles to watch him be his adooooooorable best version just like he used to be and ths very feeeeelinf apart from your part in his story he is exactly how he was……

Not even the slightest change in him the waaaaaaay just the waaaaaaaay he is and to then seee him in that white shirt!!!!!

Like you’ve been having living mixed feeeeels away again one of those beauuuutofully ironic dilemmas of not being sure if to adoooorw him more miss him that way or miss the wild him away from this morning!!!!!

HIM!!!!!

 He actually did spoil you with all that love of his!!!!!!

To think of it now those very lilst moments of him loving you the way he did….like until him you always thought your brother loved you the most and after him theres nothing else even close to the way he loved you…

Walking down the stairs from his terrace post that first time psy beedi high into his room like you directly go sit on his bed full daring before his sister and she leaves to her room and you just be there cause that’s how badly you wanted to be with him that night……

And the waaaay he keeps asking you to leave to her room instead standing a lil away and you spread your arms wide asking for a hug and the waaaay he comes walking bombiiii nakkkoo pls chachi said not to and comes to your knee without hugging holds your face same expression again laughing at you and you get finalky mad at him ek hug nai ek kiss nai and you try to get off and you couldn’t walk and the way he whispers away lil more close if I come I won’t be able to let you leave my room……

It’s only today after all these years seeing that one video of his all these lilst of moments of him doing the exact same thing watching you feel helpless chuckles awaaaay shrugging his gorgeous shoulders away and then come close to hold your face away with that same very expression that he had in this video!!!!!

It was that new experience new feeeo charlie living him that night differently to the way you were used to seeing him there that close to you in his room high on him to experience all those first times to wanting to be closest to him for the first time at that hour and then having to leave his room you just couldn’t didn’t want to……

And he could see it in you to finalky asking to lift you and drop you in her room and you nod saying katif get off and struggle to walk yourself out to her room cause you just couldn’t feeeo the ground beneath it was like almost flying to her room like you remember the exact feeeeel of your feet and him from that’night…

HIM!!!!!!!!!

 What makes you come alive like every sense in you awake breathing living to the most like you can literally feeeeel the transition in you from the before and the after…..where every nerve in you has come alive what makes you transition to that - HIM!!!!!!

Anything him slightest of him and this you you transform into is beyond your own understanding…

This very habit of him from back then down with bad cold as he comes back from Bombay and asks you to come down to see him or something it was and soon as you get in you just had to hold him chummi him and he pushes you away from the shoulder saying nakko I have a real bad cold you’ll get it too……

And you just look at him making a face you didn’t know of but just that feeeeel on the inside comes out literally all over your face and the waaaaay he fataaaak se takes the car to the beside galli and turns it off turns towards you making that face pouting his lips away my bombiiii you are don’t make that face like that and actually holds your face and chuckles away that adoooorabky and holds your cheeks in his hands making that exact same face and the rush for the chummi finalky!!!!!!

You did get the cold but it was the most loved way of getting one!!!!!!

To this other time at Sankranthi at his cousins place and downstairs to eat lunch and they serve mutton or some meat it was and his sister says it’s Thursday so shouldn’t be having non veg to you and him and it was some leafy vegetable instead for veg option and you look at him as both yours and his plate gets changed to veg with leafy veg and he knew how bad you hated leafy vegetable and you just looking at him and the waaaaaaaaay he adoooooorably nods away chuckling away knowing exactly how you were feeling in that very moment…

His aunt asking what happened to him and it was just that knew why he was that adoooorably chuckling away!!!!!

To that night after dropping you with his sister he again calls later that night and you were sitting out in the balcony and asking you to look beside and there he was!!!!!

Running running head out and that’ rushhhhhhh of him cause you couldn’t hold him touch him leave alone chummi him that day and the second you run to his arms the first thing he does is instead stopping you and holds your face in his hands saying that very same thing again never make that face again in place where I can’t kiss you…and you didn’t know in that moennt which one he was talking bout and he holds you again telling you the incident at lunch and calls it your helpless face……

HOW MUCH!!!!!!

 How much can you possibly miss someone this night aaaaaj thoooo!!!!!!

Few sips down of the bluuuu bottle gin and this mind right now hazy dancing away to this video of his and the waaaaaaaaay you have only been imagining yourself in place of ringo and him holding your face saying my bombiii you are…!

It’s like been on repeat the previous one watching every day morning first thing you wake up and this one now on repeat already!!!!!!

The most beauuuuuuuuuuutoful hoooooman on the face and everything of this planet I swear!!!!!

This smile everytime he chuckles awaaaaay that adoooooorably like hearing it over the earplug now hits differently!!!!!! The sound of his voice the sound of his chuckle and everytime he chuckles you smiiile away with this khushiiii just for the sound of his voice…

Him in whites where do you even start for this love of yours for him in whites right from the very start…

This you aaaaj thoooooo from that wild wildfdddd missing morning to this now teary eyed smiling away looking at him cause that’s how bad the missing just got now all over again!!!!!

It’s this beauuuuty of living someone charlie having lived them that close as you love them and these very details picturing reliving them knowing exactly how they sound and react over it!!

Hiwleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you grogeousssssss lil big adoooooooooooooorablest thing how only you are being missed away today!!!!!!!

It’s the most special video seen in a lng longest of times cause it did bring back too many memories of having lived him with the exact same expression with you for you…!

You did get luckiest in the world for having found Him…

This viiiiiiiibe of today!!!!!!!!!

 Verewww level only ajjj tho!!!!!!!

Saving this state of mind away cause it bring back the bestest of memories him doing the same thing away!!

HOWWW!!!!!

 How do you even get over a face like that one ayyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa kitttuuuuuuuu cuteieeeeeee Krishnamoorthy this missing rushhhhhh right now!!!!!!

THAT much cuteness this heart right now as you play it n everytime you play it now!!!!!!!

Kittuuuuuuuuuuuuuu how only you are being missed away abhiiiii k abiiiiii!!!!!!

If he onlyyyy had the slightest idea!!!!!!!

The sound of his voice him in white that saaaaame exact expression even years after!!!!!

Dream come true…!

 This one fellowwwwwwwwwwwwww has and will always have meraaaaaaaaa poooooooooooora ka poooooooooora heart kidney and everything in between on him!!!!!!!!

Said it before can say over a zillion times there’s absolutely nothing or no one in the world that makes you feel this way the waaaaaaaaaaaaay anything him does…

When’s you are smiling not cheek to cheeek but shoulder to shoulder kindaaaa big wide smile on your face and this waiiiiiiiit now to get home and write it out!!!!!’n

This video of him n ringo and him in whiteeeeeee of all the days today in white from waking upto him in that white and THAT kind of waking up to now seeing him on the same day in white…the waaaaaaay it in some way feeeeels that close to dream come true vibeee !!!!!!!!!

This adoooooooooooooooooorableness of him that one waaaaaaaaay of him making that face after seeing ringo make that face and the waaaay he goes over to hold ringos face exaaaaaaaaaaaaact moment having lived over a zillion times with him holding your face !!!!!!!!!

This one FEEL right now ringo the luckiest I swear!!!!!!!!!!!

Singggggg miyaaaaaaaaaaaaAaa tummmm aisaaaaaaa waisaaaaaaaaa kaisaaaaaaa kaisaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa yaaaad aaaare jiiii abhiiiiik aboioiiiiii!!!!!!!!!

HIMCOMINGS!!!!!

 Blame the intensity of the workout today entirely on the himcoming this morning!!!!!!!!

Cause when he comes like THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Feeeeeling toooo many versions of him living away every version of him and howwwww!!!!!!

And this always there’s that beauuuuuty in rawness it’s not slow start and stuff just there like for the first time prolly it was you over him something’s again you shouldn’t be writing it out but this first one deserves cause the second you smell his presence that scent of him and the rushhhhhhhhhh cause you’d been avoiding writing out with this rush growing more everytime you write out and the after feeeels is beyond!!!!!!

So you do your best to stay put and just listen to his music watching Scooby away!! To the second you scent of him and that immediate turn and as he holds you trying to hold you back like he always used to back then this time you just turn over him open your eyes and there he was white girgeousnesssssss in a open white shirt and the waaaaaaaay without a smile nothing at all he looks you in the eye he was highjjjh and howwwwwwww sleeepy but highhhh and there’s that lil shyness initially and then the rawness of him that comes along when high………and this you did live that beauty in Versova meet!!!!!!

As you get over initially he just looks you in the eye as you hold his arms away like he used to yours and the waaaaaay he looks at his arms being held by you and that beauuuuuuuutoful nod and smiiiiile comes along and then chuckles away softly saying kya se kya ho gayi tu nai and you just nod back and that rushhhhh in him the waaaay he movessss suddenly even writing out now this sudden gooooosebumped all over it was like all that holding back suddenly did come out from you for him!!!!!!

It was moments and the waaaaaay he was trnforming into his many beauuuuuuutoful gorgeouslyamsexyniknoeit versions of him rawly like to live him that waaaaaaaaay and that feeeeeeeeeel you wake up early with some sound or something there was that highhhhh rushhhhh stil like the blood pumping highest pace possible the heartbeat the breathing everything on that speedrush!!

And you just had to first run to the workout cause there’s that need that want to feeel him more live more in that continuation mode of your mind…

And this new music does it for you initially for the cardio and that wait post that with this mood you didn’t want to do the regular play step up and dance away shadow box away and that viiiiiibe today…….it was that flyyyyy of the wildside out I say and how!!!!!!

There was that rush that intensity and yet like you were almost flying!!!!!!

It was beauuuutoful like through n through those glimpses of him wishing away again to live him exactly that way love him that way hold him that way it’s been madness lately the way you’ve been wishing away for real after the longest of times…

To the post move playing his track again and as you move look in the mirror there was this beauuuuuuutoful shoulder rash deepest tone cause of the new sports bra rough strap but the beauuuuuuuuty of it the waaaaaay it takes you back to the post Versova meet looking at yourself in the washroom and there was this stretched out color of his love all over the shoulder blade the way it formed this line wit it spread across the one side of the  shoulder and this almost similar line downwards tho cause of the strap!!

Some moments and the waaaaaaaaaaay they can instantly make you happy a way is beyond logics cause it’s been that aTHAT long since you’ve seen it on you and it only happens with rashes now so everytime some dot or some color you see the waaaaaaaaay it brings him along the waaaaaaay he would first smell you away and then!!!!!!!!

This mind this rush right now might even have to delete this later but it’s just THIS RUSH THIS MAX RUSH right now!!!!