Blue sky!

 Everytime every single time a sky like this

HIM!!!!!!!!!

His chaddi!!!

 To another high point as you just look and realise must must to be mentioned I say like this to be a saved memory!!!!

When you get your order on a day like this one come home to finally have a pj that looks exactly same as his red checkered boxer from back then!!!!

Cheap thrills I say the things that can make you happy I say are beyond logics m reasons!!!!!

Like with a missing like this one as long as this one you your heart n mind somehow find a way of their own to fill it up slightest bhi…..

Anything that makes it feel alive I say anything that fills up for the absence it just holds closest to!

This chaddi same vibes I say!!!!

This mind today!!!!!!!!!

Through the day!

 Back at the studio scheduling order working on the styling getting the lift area fixed and right trough all that she had to tell you ask you each and everything double time cause your mind that beautifully blank…..

It just was that beautifully lost like even changing outfits on the mannequin play the song on loop cause the waaaay you could just feel Him that strong with the song playing even was smthing else is smthing else even now…..

Getting the pictures studio shots looking for how to place where to place to accommodate rest of the things mind still that beautifully high on all him….like you could feel it cause mind trying to work but it just wasn’t up for it I say the way nothing really was getting into your head….

Finally somehow get things done at home ask her to stay back if she wanted to cause it was raining again mind still glued to her fone……is also when you that thaaaaaaaat badly wish he hadn’t blocked you but when that thought strikes you the way suddenly all these feels connections that you this strongly feel sort of vanish away almost…..

Leaves her fone goes down to get smthing from the supermarket face on the table again looking at the fone that close to you mins gone and finally take it another round reached Bombay with songs of Bowie this time…..

The beauty of those moments the way it made you relive those days of drives of his from hyd to Bombay over the fone telling you how he sort of felt the drive to be shortest and almost felt like you were sitting right beside him keeping him company on the drive only today he reached earliest like that was quick……

Some days that beautifully insync like one long time travel feeling all same things connected this beautifully like it was meant for you!!!!!

It’s going to take a whileeeeee for this high to go low I say!!!!!

Mind n heart this almost happy this feeel of feeling him today was still is something !!!!!

There’s no logic there’s no reason nothing connected to you and yet the way it made you feel live him even through the day with other moments , magic…!

No less than magic…!

Memory calling!

 Some days just some days like they were just made for you!!!!!!

Designed for you that specific. Way with those very peculiar moments sounds altogether made just for you I say!!!!

From those moments to just see his story on his way to Bombay his car logo the way it all comes back to you that drive with him on your Burthday his car was new the way he mentions you being first after sister sitting on the front seat some things that adooorably filmy he would mention and that very moment you comment how filmy he too was and that one adoooooooorable smile of his looking away recalling a memory and that one beautiful pause after hau nai I used to call you Bollywood pauses again….looks back at you and just that smile and then looks ahead!!!!!

Any Bollywood song you used to sing away to him or dialogue maroing at him and the way he always used to comment this merku movies banana pasand hai surf, tu tho ekdum Meri Bollywood gf hai!!!!!

This very usual comment of his the way even years later in that moment on that drive he did remember when you mention smthing !!!!!!

It’s the way he did remember smallest things bout you even years later even with the distance back then he did remember !!!!

Sooooo yaahhhh from that drive too many memories to just that feeeel of his drive to Bombay to another memory trip of his drives back then getting Tika over his forehead by his sister to coming over to just see you before he leaves early morning….usual way of starting early mornings driving awa…. Talking to you through the drive sharing moments of and bout the places around smthings some visuals it’s like you see smthing and the way it just all comes back to you!!!!

Like you can’t think straight can’t get your mind back to normal mode but today the mind I tell you wasn’t meant to be in the normal mode ever since the start of the day….

Just the day before at tonique looking for a good Rose This one wine bottle name catches your attention goru with the pic closest resemblance to Rabindranath Tagore him Versova the meet the window the moments the music the way it all just holds you away just standing there looking at the bottle and living all Him away!!!!!!!

Sounds n visuals I tell you, just that one slightest touch of either and you time travel!!!!!! Slightest touch that smooth gone you are and howwwwww!!!!!!

Just standing there looking at the bottle and all those flashes of him rushing through you even as you write now this mind more him I saaaayyyyyyy!!!!!

Nites like these!!!!!!!!

Moments!

 Soooooo yaaahhh!!!!!!

Exactly whyyyy you stay away from writing !!!!!

That almost felt like flying back in time and standing right there living that Moment of watching him bout to take that flight!!!!!

To that moment still standing there in the balcony watching that visual and reliving him and having that talk with yoruself and the eagle still not as beautiful as him!!!!!

Fone rings and your mom asking you for the password of your fone and then saying why do you keep difficult ones and you just go unlock the fone as she had to talk to the manager bout smthing you still at it again smiling again head to the balcony and wait for the eagle to come back for the turn , the only person in the world who would know your fone password without even you having to tell him - Him!!!!!

Some andar wale conversations I tell you that lil chuckle your heart has over nothing at all are the most beautiful!!!!

To finding this track while brushing or shower it was and the waaaaaay it immneeeeediatelllky felt like Him in a sound!!!!!

The waaaaay it was just elevating that feeeel of him what you already were dealing literally dealing with cause the smiiiile on the face I tell you like a moment when your manager comes home and first thing comments is how pink your cheeks were today!!!!!

Like that smileeee just wouldn’t go I tell you!!!!

To that moment of realisation when she was completely drenched and had to change and you ask her to in your room and heads for shower or no clue and asks you to check with the furniture guy cause he had been wanting to talk to you or smthing!

But the very first irority like always the sec you see her fone HIM!!!!!

U literally head over to the washroom asking her how long more she will be taking to just take her fone back and she doesn’t say a thing mins more and finally to just live that one red circle going round round hitttttt it call of the gods!!!!!!

On his way to Bombay passing by a Blue Bird bus the very sight of it ayyaaaaaaaaaaa if he only knewwwwwwwww!!!!!!!! 

Him the very HIMMMMMMM being the beautiful blue bird I sayyy to the track Shazam it away no results keep hitting it over n over again no results!!!!!

But the beauty again the way the track you’d already found sounded that beautifully semilunar to this one of his…..

It’s been this thing the waaay this lil one crazy wish not really wish but smthing you reallllky that bad wanted him to mention song names with his video and that one surprisingly comes true atleast some wishes do thankfully and this one you had to shazaaam the life out of it and yet couldn’t find any result!!!!!

But the way this track almost well almost made up for it cause the waAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay it’s making you feel Him I say is smthing else only !!!!!!!!!

Like to another level wala feeeeeeels I say!!!!!!!

Sound n visuals!

 On some days when you feel this way feel him with some sound relive moments of him with some sound the way it still makes you feel is when you realise how just his memories still make you feel like nobody’s actual presence ever did not even close lilst close leave alone feel the same way ever again!!!!!

Just his memories to just feel him live him with some memory with his sound playing…..

This track is all or atleast almost what his presence used to feel like…

This morning with the most beautiful dream of his that you can’t write for a zillion reasons also why lately you try your best to not write cause the aftermath of writing is like amping up the missing by a zillion notches higher!!!!!! To what it already was like !!!!!!

So you do your best to hold it all in just so the missing doesn’t get any worse than it already was!!!!

But some days like these when it’s this beauuutifully I sync and in flowwwww you just can’t helpppp but write it out let it out awaaay!!!!

From that dream to the state of mind you already were in like not a single word and just smiling away having chai your mom talking bout smthing you lilooking out avoiding direct eye contact cause you just couldn’t get that smile off I say!!!!

To this one sound of wings flapping and you look out and there was this beautiful huge eagle right outside the balcony just flew past by…..

Literally run out to see and there it comes again with that one beautiful turn zoooop takes another turn and again comes closer to your balcony that you almost allllllmost touched it it was that close and as it takes that turn beautiful slow turn with its big beautiful wings spread across just that one word one feel one visual one loooovvveeeeeeee HIM!!!!!!!

Him just like that exactly same that way security checks and zoooop used Togo his arms up high shoulders high over standing on that lil step at the security checks and you standing right there just living that moment of watching that one gorgeous human bird almost bout to take a flight as he gets off turns around looking for you you still in aweeeee of him smileeeees that smile at you wondering what made you that happy just standing there exact same question as you come close Kaiku ittaa khush ho rai!

Some moments even as you write now you can exactly feeel how you felt everytime in that moment…

Every single time to wait for that moment take those slower steps to stay a lil behind him just so you could live Him that way, the most beauuuuuutiful Human Bird I say !!!!!!

Trippy mind I say!

 And just like that a happy heart sluppped away into a nap some days just the way waaaaaay they make you come alive some sounds that make you allow you to feel him and HOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

This mind today ever since that very start of the day to the waaaay it just flowed through the day one journey one epic journey it almost felt like body that still mind that beauuuutifully flying high on a trip if it’s own visuals and sounds can tooooootally do this to you!!!!!

This you today just the way you felt today has been after a very very long time almost like his presence the way lilst of moments almost allowed you to sort of feel him around you feel his presence over around you !!!!!!

It’s just this beautifully crazy and almost magic like !!!!!

Held your hand and there you go and howwww wowwwwww wowwwwww!!!!!

Basic visual as this and this mind this beauuuutifully high on him even after the waking up some days I tell you howleeeeeee YOU were missed again like never before if you only knewwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!

Visuals like these night sky like this mind flying high body moving to a beat of its own shut your eyes all you see all you feel all you live is Him!!!!!

Almost October the month of your LIFE!!!!!!!!