Closeness 2!!!!

 If you think of it be it the dream the other day to the continuation today cause you alone know how baaaaad you didn't want the dream to end the moment to end......to suddenly waking up with that feel of missing him and the waaaay his presence felt different today like intentionally starts right where he left off like he knew how bad you missed him missed living that moment right there with him post his daadi feels over your face nose....

To just that timing of the song the lines where it starts off to just feeeelin the other moments througbthe day that strong sense of his presence in moemnts it's this new feeeel recently that just feeels different.....even with the hectic work now with looking for places with the agent and stuff that one sense of Khushi rushing through you it's different charlie...

Feels very different off late and this thing to feel has been after a very long time!!!!!

That one boomerang moment of his smillleeeeeeee did it for you the waaaaaay his face pasted glued over inside the eye lids i say!!!!!

With every blink of an eye that one moemnt on looop!!!!!

Howwwwweeeeee that sexilllyyyyy gorgeous i say!!!!!!

I wishhhh he had that one moment somehow on highlights cause it literally has become the highlight óf your moments through the day and HOW!!!!!!!!!!

Closeness!!!!

 Apart from the feeels to relive something's even be it in the dream, it's his closeness charlie that feeel of his daaadi over your face nose to living the beauuutiful details of his face with your hand like just touching feeeeling away cause you remember your eyes were still shut cause when he smileees that smile of his same as the boomerang one you could feeeel it on the tips of your fingers...

The way he was like always letting you live his details as he smileees away and then suddenly when he feels it was done holds away your hand and!!!!!!

That rush of him that you could feeel away in his grip the way he holds your hand!!!!!!

Some moments even writing it out now this sudden rush of goosebumps all over!!!!!!

From that waking up to the waaay you just had to have a straight face on cause when you feeel him live him that way and the after of it is something you got no control over!!!!!

That sudden missing of evrything him!!!!!

Sometime later manager comes over like in days like these you wait for her to rush to the washroom like your eyes follow her with that wait ab rakhti fone karke and the second she does that one runnnn literally!!!!!

There it was the beloved circle circling around and it was for kk the post......

The song that beauuuutifully in sync though with the one you were already trippin on its from wake up sid...

Cause that's exactly how the morning felt like from missing out on living him in and with a moment to him actually coming in that very moment like he was there for you as mad as it sounds it just felt like it...

Something's you write and this sudden feel of the state of your mind sometimes...

The things truly living loving someone can make you feel!!

MORNINGS!!!!

 From that feeeel of missing out on a moemnt to living one that beauuuuuutifully!!!!!!!

Like it that strangeky beautifully continue right where he left off at......some moments and that one rush it leavesbyou with!!!!!!!

It's that sudden recall of some feels charlie that sort of take over your head cause it's been years now having felt lived it for real.....and with that feeel the other day like you were almost bout to and then happens last nite...

There's something that's changed recently the way you can just feel it that strong it's that good change kinda change like you can just feeeel it in you.....

To living moemnt moemnts like those to waking up with that feeeeeeeeel of him still there like you were that into the the whole dream scenario that it takes you sometime to realise where you were and why wasny he still beside you cause you could still smell bis presence......

It's that thing when you miss out on a feel to feeeeeeelin him away that much!!!!!

Like it leaves your mind on that constant roll that señse imagination left wild!!!!!

Like the way the mind starts to wander keep reliving the moemnt moments in loop!!!!

Sometime later still making sure to avoid as much direct contact possible cause you were that high on him!!!!!

Like the smile the rush of him rushing through you and how!!!!!

HIM = Magic!!!

 Him the magic in your life !!!!;

And whataaaa beauty of a magic he is!!!!!!!

Ek baar video uskuuu dekhkeee this one wait now almost evryday to get your hands on her fone with that one hope Aaj bhi dikh Gaya thooo!!!!

That one smileeeeeeeeeeee of his inswear charlie nothing isn the world makes you as happy as that one smileeee of his!!!!!

Like thqts the epitome of heights of Khushi literally!!!!!

Even in that moment today living that moemnt of magic of his sound that one smile eeee of his pops up in your head!!!!

Days like these when suddenly that hint of him transforms away everything outside and inside you...

Aaj kal ekdum seee beautiful ajeeb lagra charlie nai maloom kaise or why...bas lagra like andar seee it's just that feeeel beautifully ajeeb.......

Sand n sound...

 Baaack to the Himness of the moemnt!!!!

Just living that visual with the sound of his music one ear plugg3d in and this one car slows down and stops right infront and the song playing loudest possible vol was boodon ke moti!!!!!!

If this is not magic if this is not real i actual mein donno what else can be!!!!!

Mind was in that fulllllon rush mode of his already like you trip over the visual if the sand as the him from versova in on a playmode in your head on days when you miss him the most and on walks....

The song the car still there as somebody honks again waiting for someone but the song charlie still playing and that strong rush of the wind along suddenly like it was that beauuuuuutifully in sync once done plays it again and by then mind all the more deep dived away in all him and how!!!!!

Moments like these charlie beyond you beyond logics or anything that could possibly name it define it explain it it's jus beyond you too...

Waqt se nikalke howlaaaaa Dil ke paaas dilki baat hawaa ke zariye batau reeeee yaaaa khud hawaaa pe chalkeeee ayaaaaa reeeee!!!!

The sound of moemnts!!

Back to the bank from that feeeling away him for the moment finish the work and head to the studio get work done there and back home....

With that whiff of monsoon in the air like it's almost that time of the year again that brings along the wait...

Change and head out for a walk few rounds with his music and this kids play area that they have amped up by adding the sand that one visual every single time the versova beach front again like it's your most looked and lived for corner of the apartment again that thing that defines your reality alone, beyond logics and expressions...why what or how just the feels charlie....

And as you just stand there living that beauty of the sand kids playing over it even in the mornings earliest hours when you wake up at that golden hour of his with that sudden shake post his dream and lookout watch the kids laying over their bellies over the sand in round circles having a round conference like a routine of this bunch of kids....it's some visuals charlie like the sand few specific tracks windows mirrors the sight and smell of cigarettes in general the waaaaaay they bring him along....

Before him you didn't like the smell of cigarettes but now it's one of your most loved scents cause it brings him along...like the first whiff of the smell of cigarettes and that one rush of him atbighest pace possible!!!!!

Agaaaaun from where to where it only went!!!!

The today!!!!

 The bank the manager getting the paperwork work you had to sign a few docs and then wait for the processing as she was out for lunch much late than the usual lunch time....waiting for her discussing bout the work and places youd seen with the manager and suddenly this one boy walkins with his sister in hand and mom beside walking towards the counter the boy stops at one of those white circles that very second just that sudden viiiibe of him one plug in the air play his music and that very second the boy starts to walk over these white circles like step on each one just like Him, just like his tile walk back then....

Mom still calling him with his sister at the counter the boy was walking His walk over these white circles with spaces in between....

These were those circles done proly COVID times for the distance between people painted white between each tile....

And this boy there he was bringing back the Him from then...

Can never get over that moment that first time you see him that first time you felt that strongly for him even without seeing his face.....

Just that feeeeeel of him with every step closer to you...like evry tile he walks with that space in between looked like leaping forward closer to you as he took those steps...

And the waaaaaay that beauty of his presence held you, not move a bit not blink a bit just that one beauty of living him only when that closest to you looks up and looks down again at the tile you wer4 standing on and tries to move the side and instead you move and let him finish his walk and that stare still walks tobthe restroom and turns around to still find you lost in living his presence.....

Some moments this feeeeeeel today to watch thay boy walk His walk......

And the manager shakes you up saying how lost can you get even amidst serious work like this and your smile lately what's happening....

Lo ok away and back at the boy as he finishes the walk and reaches his mom and your mind reaches Him.....

Like by that moemnt you already were that lost in all things Him right from the very start.....

And she starts to discuss bout something again the lady comes over with the paper saying signatures were pending finishing that you and this one conversation right behind some uncle saying haa 2009 October mein retirement liya and goes on talking bout bout the documentation and stuff it's that one big smileeeeee that your face gets slammed with charlie i swear!!!!!

And the sign goes off cause you just were suddenly that happy in that moment cause it was waay many coincidences fir one situation and you just couldn't take the work seriously!!!!

Happily smiling away with that rush of him with every sign.....and once done you just decide to get away for a bit asking the manager to check on it and as you'll get back in sometime...

Head back to the car and with just you in the car live him to the fullest in your head with his music.....

There is that rush in moments like these charlie like you want to smileeee away Dil kholkeee live away that sudden rush of him and to just go with that vibe with that rush rushing through you!!!!

Can't force your head to focus on something else especially in moemnts like these, merse nai hotaa charlie somehow just that neeed to be away from it all and closest to feeeeling him as you let that rush through you!!!!