Moments!!!!

 What you shared with him is yours alone now…!

People wouldn’t understand even if you sit and explain it out with even if you did go by their rule book of living an ideal life it wouldn’t workout for you otherwise…

It’s not something you decided for yourself it’s not something you didn’t want to change or think of it’s just not you anymore….

Nai hota who nai hota it always come back to that one moment with any other guy cause that will happen and you just don’t see yourself standing there with some other face before you coming closer to you touching you living that space with somebody else freaks you out leave alone spending an entire life altogether……

There’s no switch charlie if one side turns off it’s not a sure thing that the other side too will…

Every person has the right to make a decision for their own life and self , he made his and you made yours…

As simple as that!!

because even after all these years of him having made it so clear even in his absence your eyes just don’t feel the need or the want to see another face leave alone anything else it’s as simple as a face……even if talking to some guy work related thing you always look yaha waha and never really look at someone…

Be it events friends gathering stuff kabhi andar se he hua nai not even for a second or even after those rare few sips down never for once even…….

It’s always been that one search for his face in crowds in traffic in places just to live him…….

Your eyes always looking for him subconsciously like not intentionally some black vento some guy walking in a black shirt or a white shoe and your eyes are drawn towards that visual hoping it’s him just to see him…….

Something’s nai are just that beyond you…be it back then you weren’t prepared to stand there and stare at him walking towards you but you did or that moemnt before the mirror him sitting there tieing his shoelace away looks at you through the mirror and you taking your fone back from the instructor as it was on the table and you just stand there instead living him away……there was no movement nothing in you that wanted to move or look away…like evrythung else going blur and the time stood still for you in full filmy style…

That one face loving every detail as he talked chuckled walked around wanting to live every detail of his including realising how it was to love someone’s sound of voice too…the waaaaaay you would loooooove him saying certain words in his own way…the way his hands would move as he explained some scene out from his whistlingwood days it was all working on you one frame after the other…

It was like reconnecting with someone you always knew…!

It all sounds madness maybe now with the changes but to you it’s always been this way it’s not something you chose you selected it just happened to you…

He happened to you and prolly the BESTEST thing ever in your life for life I say…

So it’s not about you doing things and why you do cause you yourself have no idea bout this!!!!!!

Why it still feels the way it does…!

After all this time!!