stay with me!!!!!

 some days on the calendar hit you with a sound that's what words sounds music does to you....

A day a place a time and suddenly out of nowhere a sound a beat something said something shared a moment anything just hits you in the most beautiful of ways....like it just enables you to experience that shift that sudden shift movement like you just felt smthing without even feeling a thing...

Mother's day every year this does to you!

Every simgle one!

Not sure if you'll ever experience it for real ever again but one thing for sure you did live it once in your lifetime atleast in the most beautiful of ways - Him!!!!!

His words his hugs in those very moment asking you over n over again reassuring himself in those moments that he has you now....you've got me right karely you are my mommy from now on you'll stay with me right no matter what I do or say you'll never leave me right holding you closer reassuring himself and also letting you live that most beautiful feeling ever for the first time how and what it is to hold live that feeling of being responsible for a kid for an infant what it is to nurture another being like you know love in the most beautifully different way......to nurture to care to protect to love him as your kid to nurture him to adore him as your baby and not as your love in those moments....to hold him as his mommy and not as a gf then...

That experience that beautiful echo of his words asking you to be there for him no matter what asking you to promise him that you'll never leave him still laying over your lap holding your hand away with the tightest grip possible or just hugging you away and telling you you are my mommy from here on.....

In those miemnts that feeeeel of loving him that way to just live that feel of being a mother it was different even writing it now reliving those moments still feels this weirdly beautiful n different!!!!!!