After Si, it was C...!

 to just come home to those flashes of him those beauuuuuuuuuutiful different versions of Him....

to that realization of how baaaaaaaaaaaaaaadly you were looking for him not to touch hold chummi or anything but to just see him..... even dooor se to just live him for that moment !!!!!!

whoo hota nai charlie there are things you know that well already and then there are these moments wher eyou find yourself living those realities.... and then realize thats how bad you miss him.....

like even for those few secs to just see him did become your ultimate priority.....

knowing he wouldnt want you to knowing the reality of it and yet to just seee him bas !!!!!!!!!

like with that feeeeeeeling of one sec away from HAPPINESS cause you in yoru mind were that close to seein ghim.....

for REAL !!!!

and then to realize like alwasy it wasnt Him.....

still at the mall and yet it makes you look up and say whyy pehle nai boldete it wasnt Him why that hope why that BIGOFAAAAAAA hope !!!!!

this longest time of not having seen him wa smthiing you obvsly werent prepared for or knew you had to....

and the waaaay in those moments it makes you feel that - oneluckiest girl in the world i say !!!!!!

to anybody who gets to live him even passing him by or just share that one glance anything anyway to jus live Him !!!!!!

luckyyy i say !!!!!!!!!!!

to finally today this morning again one of those blurry almost dreams of His wher eyou could feel his dreams too now come with that blur for the first time..... like you dont see him that clear and that was feeeeling all weird cause it was in the dreams now that you were able tto live him from close....

and last two three times you couldnt see him that clear like he was close you could smell him touch him but his facial feaures were all blurry like you coudnt see his eyes clear his face forehead clear like you know know its him but not clera clear types of dream....

on your way to work got late today and looking for this home decor page in your search tab and some bump or smthing and instead of some word you galti se type C and this you did realize last few days or week back that he had unblocked you from both his own acc and his movie acc....

and ever since then you didnt go back to looking at his acc which you did decide back then after seeing that post of his.....

today the sec you see His name acc pop up with that story circle live thing....

that immediate rush to seeeee if he had posted some picture of his or smthing and THEREEEEEEEEEEE he wasssssss ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that one beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuty of him that one sexxxxxxyyyyyyyy of himmmmmmmmmm that one adooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorable of Him with that standard adoooooooooooooorably innocent smile of his, he has the most beauuuuuuuuutifully innocent childlike smile charlie.... like you can literally have a kid standing next to him and have them both smile and your eyes will still be glued to His smile like his would deffff feeel more childlike than the kid..... 

that was also one of those first things you noticed when he had just bout started to smile with you in those initial days.... that he had the most innocent smile been a decade now he is a beauuuuuuuutiful handsome sexyily adorable man now and yet that one smileeeeeeeee still the same !!!!!!!!!

that beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutifull still the same !!!!!!!!!!

to just that vibe of that picture and like always eveyrthing around those friends of his around eveyething goes blur and you just cant take your eyes off him.....

ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa HIM = LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ultimate level of love that comes with everything........

madness love passion crazy crazy love again tears hurt holding loving again !!!!!!!! like everything that comes with love that has to do with love, Him.....

like you seee him live him cause you could for the longest as you were living him fom your own account also knowing he would block you again after seeing you but for that moment you dint care cause you dint have to rush back to put the fone of some friend and you could just be......

just beeeee living him........

up the volume of his gypsy soul and just live that adooooooooooooooooooooooorableness of him....

ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that full grown daaaaaaaaaadi of his the daaaaaaaaaaadi of your dreams literally !!!!!!!!!!!!

the daaaaaaaaadi !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

from back then !!!!!!!!!!!

that beauuuuuuutifully full grown.....

to that smileeeeeeeeeeeeee of his ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa to that same way of sitting either at his kitchen top or at your place on the bed one leg crossed....

smthings after all dont change...

to that one light right behind looking like the moon the waaaaaay it was lit and him shining the beauuuuuuuutifullest coldplay setting perfect...........

to that sky from teh evening yesterday and you mising him the mostest that same evening on your way back looking at the dark sky with those white fluffy clouds looking like the sea from versova....

back then when you went out with your aunt n all and at the beach evening it was dark beach with just the waves that white crashing by....

that same visual the sky last nite.....

that same backdrop of the pic it had that beauuuuuuuuuutiful vibe like all of it that beauutifully syned with just the waaaaaaaaaay he looked !!!!!!!!!!

ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa loooook howwwwwww they shineeeeeeee for Youuuuuuuuuuu !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the sec you see him it was like charlie that very moment your heart popping out of you and getting glued onto all over him....

heart all over HIM !!!!!!!!!!!!

like from that moment on to the rest of the day you couldnt have thanked for the mask enough cause you had that constant smile on you !!!!!!!!!

and nobody would even know could even gues whyy smiling akele akele !!!!!!!!!

it was like suddenly eveything around was just that lit !!!!!!!!!

literally lit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

even on your way back like the roads looked brighter there is this fly over over Central again with a big C and today that tooooo was that beauuuutifully lit.....

lik you could feeeeeeeel that glow inside n outside.....

like suddenly smthing just changed smthing just moved shifted....

like there was a shift it just changed smthing !!!!!!

and this was the first time you felt this way.....

again smthing from back then when he humms one of your most favracks saathiya ye tune kyaa kiyaa....

the song too had that vibe of lighting up the world with love thing....

today you literally experienced that for the first time....

and that show and when you realize thats HOW much you missed him..........