To process !!

it was that sudden feeling of being lost on a road that known to you...

like you started off knowing every corner of the road every turn of the road and then reaching to a point where you know nothing at all..... where you are how did you even get there like suddenly that lost on a road most known to you !!

and when on one side there was this strange track running through your life the other side being finally getting the perfect place.....

with not being able to deal with the whole manas situation and your mom you were looking for another place also because there was nothing youc ould do really as far as the interiors was concerned just wasnt wroking.....

a lil ahead you see this board up for lease and you the sec you are there that was it.....

had to be cause it was a penthouse of an independent former ministers house all white.....

before even looking on the inside of the place that need to just be in that familiar corner of the terrace and that was it.....

you just knew you had to get that place for the studio.....

from getting the lil bit of interiors done to finally setting up that one feeeeeeeeeling now everytime you are there that love for penthouse.....

that one love for terrace you can never grow used to....

but it was only yesteday you had your moment at that place that felt that beauuutifully familiar....

a client with her fiance for her lehenga meet and the fiance being weird commenting over her sizes as the measurements were being taken by the manager and keeps joking bout smthing or the other bout her.....

and to think of it they were getting married the next month how could she even live with it, she keeps ignoring his comments as she turns the fiance come sby your side asking to take a closer look at the lehenga design that she was looking for over the sketch on your fone and holds your fone trying to zoom in on the sketch holding your hand fone ke saath and you just look up and that very sec all you could see was Him standing there right there beside you that you lose sense of the converstions around you or that fiance still talking smthing where suddely the sound becomes whispers that you couldnt make sense of the moment just Him standing there looking you in the eye and just that one smileeeeeee of his smiling at you just looking at you and you walk away out to the terrace and in this corner and just be with his music playing and looking up this flock of birds flying and this one bird with that different sway than the rest catches your attention.....

eveytime you see the sight of eagles specially with big massive wings spread out living their flight its that peace beauiful smthing that the sight fills  you up with....

cause all you see feel live in that moment is Him...

is how eagle did become your most fav bird now....

cause of his beautiful shoulders being spread out during security checks just llike the massive wings of eagle.....

that one sight to just watch eagles fly has become your most loved momen through the day.....

it just does smthing to you puts your mind at the most beautiful ease possible its like a trip almost the same kind that that beauty of his presence used to fill  you up with.....

that one beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful high of his presence to just live Him.......

mind that beautifully slow heart that fully happy and at most ease that same almost close vibe to just watchthe eagles fly.....

sway fly move across the sky.....

there are things you could never really process or make sense of and then there are moments like these that sort of are best left at the way they are....

why love a love like that one and then be left without it, why live someone like Him and then spend the rest of the years without.....

why know teh reality and then still feeeeeeeeel him the waaaaaaaaaaaays you do !!!!!!!!

why still worry bout him being okay through these times just knowing he has the people he wants to be with loving him being there for him.....

why still feeel this way when you know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!