words!!!!!

 Some words the second you write and as you write and relive this feeeel a memory can leave you with!!!!!

That one quote somehow felt the same and more!!!!!

To the number of pillows surrounding you when him at your place on mahashivratri for you and asks you dheere in ishaara which pillow was yours and yow show him the corner one and that very second takes it and rests over it asking again you use two pillows how can someone and as he says that rests over it eyes closed that very next second pappppaaaaa merku bhi doo pillow honaa and even asks his suster to try it but takijg some other pillow from there and that one smileeee on him to just live something of yours.....

It's the way he loved charlie that made you love him more that made you learn bout love and loving more...

The next time at his place and he did get two pillows and that adooorably shows it over saying see just like yours !!!!!

Lilst of things bout you he was making his wanting to make his...and watching him do that watching him love you the way he was made you love him more made you understand what it's like to love and be loved...

Howleeeeeee likteee likteeee yaad karte kartee ekdum sudeen seee zoooorseeee yaaad aaaare miyaaaa!!!!!!

From a dream like the one today to suddenly being hit with that lonely vibe thanks to some really senti hindi song playing at the cafe to just findijg your Sunshine moment of his!!!!!

Know it's wrong know you shouldn't be and you try hard not to you struggle and do your best just so you don't but her fone was waaaay too long before you is all you could think of!!!!!

And eveytine you write it out you suddenly feel horrible like in your mind it still was your lil secret but once you write it out and read it as you write it just feels horrible....

But ab kyaaa karna samaj nahi ata sochee tho ok no more the waaaay he comes in the dreams it feeeels so right with less of rushes theoufh the day now as it slowly subsides its back to the dreams now it's like it's there to keep reassuring you he is yhere to reassure you of his love even with all the shitty side of the reality running sidetrack mein....

Sunshine!

 THE sunshine of your life literally that one face of his that one presence of his is like your ultimate Sunshine...

Leaves her fone off to the counter to place the order having a chat over which burger to order and you sitting there down with cold looking at the soup to her fone what almost fekt like one tennis match only....

Where to see and if to see him or not!!!!

And keep giving yourself another extra minute okay if am not supposed to watch she will be back early and if I must must watch she is going to take forever to order that one single burger!!!!

So blame it on the powers of the sky I say she took forever and you landed on your most loved place I say...

Him- with a Beatles track bg sunrise lil video moment!!!!!

Smthings nai charlie nai actually anythung to do with him and some shots he takes even though nothing bout you not even close anuwhere but it's that ahhhh feel to just live his mind his state of mind to live his moment!!!!!

Smthing else!!!!

It's just that beautiful comfort that it fills your heart with cause lile always eveytime sick the scary dream and this time he grows even taller bigger and much beautofullllller and holds you away literally and brings closer to his face that close like that THAAAAAAT close even writinf it now!!!!!!!

And he just asks you in that beauuuutiful high shy tone of his v0ice from back then are you asleep! And touches your face away with his finger tip cause that's how big his hands were but lile the other big people walking around him obvsky you weren't scared of and the way just being held by him that up you suddenly weren't scared anymore.....

And it perhaps was the next day when you read this beautiful quote on your followed page saying how you want to know the details about someone that nobody knows about like the dreams they dream the rituals they have before sleeping n soon as they are up and wish them morning a9on as they wake up and so on.....

It's exactly what you always missed bout him after the bup cause it jever happened again....

Like earlier he used to share his details but never after even if a bad dream the way he would call you early hours to9 wake you up literally just to tell you how bad of a dream it was and then hold on just so he could go back to sleep with that feel of you being close to him.....according to his adooooorable logic of love you being over the call with him even if just talkig anything random at all was like you beside him as he sleeps...and that used to make him feel safe!!!!

Smthings when you recall and write and this vwey feeeeeeeeel it fills you right now with!!!!!!!

TIMES!!!!!!!!!!

shazaaam!

 What could possibly be worse than missing out on seeinghim for real, missing out on his music!!

The only thing after him!!!!!!!

When you toootallllly felt like what he used to that adooorably call you dumb blonde, adorable just plain cause he used to call you!!!!!

Ayyyaaaa howli absolutely I say!!!!!

Today of all the times when you realize the actual purpose of shazam app where you can find the song playing just by hitting shazaam Kate!!!!!

That one jazz rain track of his ayyyaaaaaaa if only you knew bout this app that one track of his!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's that weird ajeeeeeeeeb feeeelin in the tummy that you get after it hits you this late why coudlnt you find this earlier!!!!!!

To that moment of your sneak checks trying your best not to but the second she leaves her fone right infront of your face lietrally the first ting that lietrally screams through you - HIM!!!!!!!

to just see him for a bit bhi to just live a moment of him of his day to just live a moment him whilst he is living one...

Smthings nai you just can't help explain define ezoress how or what it makes you feel like what it fills you up with you just can't.....cause the waaay certain things can fill ypu up with is beyond logics and words I say!

moments!!!!!!

 How much of you did become him away!!!!!!

Listening to his music and the way your toe moving with sound brings back that visual of his toe...

Living this moment now this sudden ting now with every movemnet of your toe it will bring his toe along!!!!!

Th is beauuuuty of some visuals I say!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaa this mind a lil more of Him!!!!!!

The only two things in life that make you feel smthing make you feel alive suddenly alive Him n music...

The rest is all what comes with life!!

A package that you just live but ther are those very fewest of things in life that can make you feel ahhh Life ahhhh Love ahhh to Live and for you it's always been Him n music...

Very lil to ask from life I say did turn out the biggest of ones!!!;

The toe at it again ayyyaaaaa how adooorable of a toe too can it get how  I say how u say charlie!!!!!

Ajeeb!

 Gets feels ajeeb when you sneak over like that!!!!

The way even with that need to see him there’s that thing at the back of your mind in that very moment isn’t this why he did block you in the first place!!!!!

Just so you don’t see his moments or anything that he shared and wanted to keep it off you and yet there is the you in that moment!!!!!

It just feels the worst way ajeeb possible but That one strong feel in those moments it’s that one gut feeling of being drawn to a moment like that visual of living him in rains and it raining drizzling rather here too as you were listening to his niladri then to find the white shoe guy walking to living him just that need to see him in that moment!!!!!

It’s beautiful it’s madness it also feels wrong smtimes but Kya Karu samaj ni ata charlie tab!!!!

Just that helpless feeling just that one rush of missing brush of missing rather today and off you go with that feel of being drawn and just let yourself go with it.....

Even writing it now still feels wrong and maybe you need to stop doing it but also that alag talk in the inside nai karti tho would’ve missed that beauuuuty of a moment...

Love can definitely be helpless too!!

Another lil smthing you learn the more you love...!

Places!!

 Almost every nite in this corner to just be with his music on the bean bag and that same vibe of the visual today over his story.....

Maybe it just made you happy cause you missed living him in person or the way some places just connect some visuals just connect that beautifully!!

Maybe of the smallest of secs but the way even that Lilst second can make you feel can last you through a day or days or weeks I say!!!!!

This mind I tell you to just live his lil toe move that afooooorably with the music his mind I tell you!!!!!!

As beautiful as Him!!!!!!!

Howleeeeeeeee You were missed I say!!!!!!!and howwww!!!!!!!

Even as you write now this search for that one track how how did his music meant away so much to you!!!!

From that Himesh wali you to this you!!!!!

This mind is feeeling beautifully weirder today when suddenly from all that chaos that you were tackling the waaay it just woooshed your mind away to everything him...

And the rest of the day with meetings and still searching for that one track and this other track you love and finally get a playlist named as should’ve been here just so someday....

Smthings you wanna write and then keep hitting the delete too at the same time and just leave it at that!!

Mind today I tell !!!!!!!

After years that one lil toe moment of living him!!!!!!!

The sound!!

 His music!!!!!!

When you google the mother away to just find that sound with the caption he had on the story like try to give a listen to pretty much every jazz rain song that you could possibly look for and that one wish why didn’t he minion the track name along it’s that vibeeeeee of his music charloe ayyaaaaa the waaaay it just does smithing to you magic like calm you away shake you away smtimes it just makes you feel smithing live an experience with just a sound any sound he chooses just does smthing to you!

And specially with that visual moment of rain the waaaay it that smooothly blends away that slow visual of raindrops over the window and that sound of his music ayyyaaaaaa LIFE n LOVE in one visual is exactly what it felt like....

To that mood of his just by that adddoooorabke toe movement I say!!!!!

Some visuals and that beauty of a video like always adding life to a moment with the movement...

Maybe also cause it’s been almost lifetime seen him in person move walk talk watch anything and today to feel that moment live that moment just felt smthing waaay more than words could ever express....

Smthings some moments when you live after that long and that sudden realisation how that lil of a moment too is what you missed that much...missed him that much!!

To live Him and the cherry ka jhaad almost on top was with his music!!!!!

Things when you realise that’s how bad you miss him his music that even the toe of his made you that happy to just live it with the visual of rains n his music!!!!