Something’s!!!!!

 That one sense of him something can never grow used to the waaaaaay it always still amazes you just that simple power and beauty of someone’s presence can have on you isnt that amazing!!!!!

Like to think of it in his absence to feeeeel his presence that way like mine back watching this animated movie you were literaaaally snuggling away like you are holding him sleeping over his chest and then to actually be able to smell the scent of him feeeel the sound of his heart beat…..

Beautiful magic I say!!!!!

Be it this sound now or even on the shoot day at studio…..like it was the first time with that many people on board including the jeweller team and the non stop flirting of one model with those guys or any guy the set guy including your driver too causing too much nuisance and you still doing your best under the sun getting toasted with the photographer watching it all and you right in the middle of it all ask the driver to bring along the earpod and plug in his music…

And suddenly just like one scene out of a movie straight out of the movie it becomes al chilled out like the weather above the everything happening around the chaos having to finish 14 outfits in 5 hours including video and stills and plus teaching forcing the photograph to move along with the camera literally setting the angles too and everything on one side and then there’s that feeeeeeeeel of him with his sound of music…

And you come back out of it as a different person altogether and get back with the shoot smiling away under the sun…where at one point she trying to make all the guys laugh over something or the other says the director is finally back in action again……and that feeeeeeeel of him again where him teaching you what edit means and direction means and you lost in him telling you things away……and that one nod as you were nodding away understanding understanding Karke where as you couldn’t understand a thing but just living that beauuuuuuuty of him away as you were waiting outside for his sister to finish her exam…and him teaching you things bout editing and direction…and then finally adds someday you will either on set with me or you watching a set at work..

And that day realising it’s not easy handling this small amount of team working imagine him on set handling that many people and making them to work as per the schedule on hand not easy definitely wasn’t for you!!!!!!!

THE sound…

 Sleeping to that feeeeeeeeeeel of him as you just lay him highddddd and that feeeel of him the sound of his heart beats and you pass out waking up finding this random mix chillplay list and you play this one song and that instant feeeeeeeel of having heard it with him at opera…….like for sure instant gut feeeeel like you’ve lived him to the sound loooooved him with the sound….like that strong feeeeel of having lived him to the beat and check the info below the video and it was released in 2009…

Not sure if it def was but this strong feeeeeel of having lived him at opera with this exact sound…

Even writing it now closing your eyes for a bit and there he is right there just bout him to come over to your side of the car leaning over you almost and he takes that one moment to live you capture that one moment in his mind just before fullybcoming over to your side…looks you in the eye does that one nod of his smiiiiiles away and then finally leans over…

Some moments some visuals to this one sound now!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS THIS very state of you right now!!!!!!!!!!!

Soooooo in love...!

 How can you possibly be soooooooo in looooooove even in his absence of years too that you just couldn't stop smiling with his sleeeeeepy sexyyyyy face rushing through you all day long!!!!!!!!

Like the second you come home pour a glass of wine without Ur changing and stuff play his music and just be living this morning high app over again!!!!!!!

Like how much looooooooooveis toooooomuch love to kiss someone lkkeghis!!!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaa when the missbecomed the kiss!!!!!!!!

His lips from this morning his eyes from this morning his sleeeeeepy adooooooooooorabke face from this morning like the perrrrrrfwxt breakfast in bed kinda eat him up moment I say!!!!!!!

When you looooove a face a bit too much that you almost wanna eaaaaat away I say!!!!!!!!

And nowwwwww you are this all the morerrrrrr roaaaaarer high on him.and howwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

Like you take the before and after moments before getting moorer high on him.and after roaaaaarer high on him!!!!!!!

Some.nigjts like theseeeeeeayyyyaaaaa mind body and soul doing this soul dance away cause that's the level of missing right right now noewwwe!!!!!!!

Himcomings!!!!!!

 There’s nothing more beautiful than waking up to this feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel of him when he comes like this!!!!!!!

That one gorgeous gorgeousnesssssssss of him when he comes tooo sleepy looking his messy beauuuuuutiful best just like back then…….ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa THAT looooooove for his sleeeepy eyes the waaaaaaay he looks that sexy and at the same time childlike there’s that beautiful blend of ooooh sooo sexyyyyy and ayyyaaaaaaaaa suchaaaaaaaa cutiepieee he is kinda viiiiibe!!!!!!!

And of al the things the THE black shirt on him!!!!!!

Can’t get enough ENOUGH of him in that shirt!!!!!!

Work stuff coming later day getting hectic coming home usual standard routine of your moemnts with all things Him…….and falling asleep there itself with tv still on and at some point just waking up for a sec to turn it off music still playing and you turn or something and that scent of him and that sounddddddddd of him that same sleeeeep sound trying to push you on the couch making space for himself wit your back towards him and you try to turn towards him and he doesn’t let you by locking you with all him and the waaaaaaaaaaaay he holds you and then pulls you closer to him……and you still try gently he doesn’t and that one time you hold his arm and turn to see ayyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that one visual HEART OF YOUR LIFE forever I say!!!!!!!!

His eyes shut smiiiiile on him that one smiiiiiiiiiiile on him shirt almost al open his face his daaaaaadi his that one smiiile just knowing how HOWWWWEEEEEEEEE happy it just made you to see him and you slowly call him howleee cutieeee and that second he opens his eyes and that rush in him that sudden transformation of his from wanting to sleep to that change in him the waaaaay he just looks you in the eye and holds you again…….some moemnts naiiiiiiii even as you write now!!!!!!!!

It’s that THAT MUCH him in that moment from that moment to moment it’s that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeel of smelling al him sensing all him mind that FULLLLL OF HIM!!!!!!!!

Like your arms your hands all of you top to toe the senses smell taste eyes sound of him like that beauuuuuutofully laced with all things just HIM!!!!!!!

To the first thing on your phone notification from the wanderer that you strongly feeel is him, likes his birthday post from last year and some other picture…that feeeeeeeeel nai today as you are up all mixed together!!!!!!!

It’s when the outside sound visual senses don’t work inside you like your mind goes blur to it all even when you wake up come out of the room you were that fullll of him like you could still feeel it in your arms and chest that feeeeeeeeel of being held by him that THAT way, something’s you write and now this feeeeeeel!!!!

Had to wanted to feel him more cause again wasn’t enough!!!!!!

And every single time every single time I swear to feeeeeeeel his touch that sense of him over and around you in your waking state this way as you move drives you more mad somehow!!!!!!!

It’s like all those missing a different versions of missing him in zillion ways possible gets all multiplied godzilluon times more!!!!!!!!

This neeeeeed to live him this way for real some day!!!!!!!!!

And this one sound that you’ve been trippin on lately cause it immediately lands you in the stadium place with the sound……again the place that has witnessed allowed you to witness different versions of him each one only made you loooooove him more live him more!!!!!!

It was your mini opera space or hideout kinda thing !!!!!!

Like the start of it all literaaaaally!!!!!!!!

This state of mind this morning this state of you this morning like you can still feeeel it over your arms and over that one feeeeeeeeeeel of him……..

In some movement too today that strong hold of his over the neck ditto how he used to back then how stil now in your waking state don’t know something’s beyoooond logics I swear!!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sudden!!!!

 Watching tbis real dumb movie with interesting twist but after very long and this sudden strike of missing like a sudden hit of missing his stories……from too many to none lately and you realise suddenky how much you kiss living a moment of Him…

Like ekdummmm se sudden hit of missing and now the movie isnt dumber anymore with nothing interesting bout it anymore…like suddenly missing too much away…

A missing like this one too when it suddenly strikes you but hard bhot hard i say!!!!!!

How do you even dela or calm down a sudden big hit of missing like this…!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaa kyaaaaa jiiii tummmm aisaaaaa waisaaaaaa kaisaaaaaa khaisaaaaaaaaaa yaaaaad areeeee!!!!!!

Uskuuu zarraaaaaa nai lagta kaise tho bhi even slightesg ki you must have missed him bolke!!!!!!!!

When the minf is already sleep mode then wanted to watch something after long and now you are sitting here wirg THIS much missing ekdummm seeeee!!!!!!

THIS time!!!!

 Its always this time of the day…..

Back home showered had food now its just you his music playing something random on tv u checking on the other reel edits and this state of mind…

Like from the morning hiiighs of him to this misssing lowwwww at this hour now…

This beauty of this month every single year like you literally start to live 2009 during this month……like every morning theres that viiiibe of him coming over to pick you up to this hour of the night on calls with him till morning hour…….

Nothing to do back then no work nothing at all…….

Literally just Him….

Sometimes you often wonder it was all him with nothing else to do but that one thing years after hasnt changed a bit even with a zillion work things to do…….that beauty of him still the same or maybe even more now…

Having literally grown in love with Him…

Like everyday no matter how tired hectic it gets its always this time of your day with his music playing slow and him rushing through you…but this one month always ALWAYS feeels different…

Like any moment he might call like any moment he might come over to see you still sleepy like by morning he would be there to pick you up and head to the gym together!!

Somethimgs nai!!!!!!!!!!!

Like that THAT used to living him, to this!!!!!

This beauty of truly loving someone and nothing possibly can change that… if youve truly felt it lived it LOVED IT!!!!!!

This another thing you come across today in some track at cafe bout second options and back then his sister too once did ask you bout it whats your backup plan and you just look at her blank cause you just didnt get the meaning of it and she asks again bhayya nai tho whats ur second option we must always have one…….and you still didnt understand the logic of it!!!!!!

Years after you still havent, today thinking bout it you still havent!!!!!

And this another something you read in some book if you have a second option on hand or on mind that itself means you were never in love with the first or current one…

Its never been anything anybody else but Him…not something you decided or got fixated with, its just something that in someway did become you…

Like to love him its not just bout loving someone its to love Him…be loved by Him!!!!!!

Its always been that way like that one face you wanna hold kiss touch feeeel live looooooove like that one human you feeeeel is your home….not just in your head but the waaaaaay even the slighest thought of them makes you feel on the inside, that sense of belonging…

Like you know how your heart feeels eyes feeeel your soul feeeels its the tip of your fingers that know its the lilst trace of your mind that feeels that lives looooves that one trace of human like no other!!!!!!!

To just know…!

Its Him!!!!!!!!!

Nothing!!

 There’s nothing i say that makes you as Happppppy the waaaaaaaay just seeing him does even on one of your busiest maddest of days!!!!!!

That one moment to just run to some corner live your moment of Him and come back to the work point with a wide happy smile on inside out…

This kinda feeeeeeeeeeeels haaaayeeeeeeeeeee that one sing in the world that one face in the world!!!!!!!!!

This heart right now…!