Him!!!!!!

 Exactly what makes you wanna come back and write him out everytime you decide you wint anymore!!!!!!

THIS him rushing through you like the second you write a moment put and relive it fraction by fraction as you write this sudden HIM that it fills you up with cause it's almost like you time traveled back to the exact same moment as you were writing and you are right there living that moemnt again living him his details his presence his closeness all over again like that line between the now and the then sort of that beauuutifully blurs away even if be it in your mind and for a moment bhi......

Him standing there before the hallway mirror of his lookijgnat your bangles you holding him from the back so your view that beauuuutifully clear in the reflection to that one look of his in the eye and just stays that way the way that one moment through the mirror always felt that magical every single fcking time that you lived with him in multiple mirrors and places...the waaay it always used to take you back to that first time you lived him through the mirror as he just holds you away just by his stare.....

Something that strong in you makes you just stay there held you not moving an inch away not wanting to move away for the first time.....to just be want to be stared at and to stare away.....the way him his that one stare held you away for life i say!!!!!!

THIS FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL now!!!!!!!!!

Ahhhhhhhh HIM i swear!!!!!!!!!!

Said it before can never get tired of saying this a zillion times over nothing no one not even close to what and how Him feeeeels i say!!!!!!!

Him!!!!!

 It's just these feeeeel charlie lately after all that recall reliving some dates and just realising how CLOSE he was that day to it being years now but somehow just couldn't get used to the idea of the whole thing.....the way some dates still can make you feel the THE him from that day and all that you felt away that day to that feeeeelbof finally being close to him closest to him to just that realisation lilst bhi had no idea nai then......it's just this him charlie visuals of him his every expression every smile his just walking towards you just waiting at the door when somebody just rings the doorbell like before stepping out of his room turns looks at you comes back stays there and just that stare the way it was all coming back to you his way of love for you back again......

Just that whole vibe of him that day was something else like even all around with Jim jam biscuits around bananan chips hide n seek and he would just look around look back at you like it was all connecting one dot after the other with that feeeel of a step closer to him...

To just that realisation how he stopped meeting soon after you started writing like this weird feeel ever since then to write bhi and not write bhi......it feels ajeeb sometimes like maybe you wrrent supposed to write your wishes out and universe responds back in another way .... like it's that weird confusion!!!!!

To just reliving that idea that feeeeeeel of him being that close to you like keep shutting your eyes even amidst work to relive a moment from back then to just relive that feeel of him being that close to you his presence him being beside you to just live his presence for real like it all stilll feeels like one dream reliving it even now as you write....

sound of music...

 It's always been your escape ever since him having found another home in music.....

It's how it can sometimes fill up away a huge absence unsettling in you and also at the same time give away all theseeee feeeeeels with just sound...like you can feeeel away liveee awaaaay sooooooo much with and to just a sound...

It's almost magical how you can visualise live someone's presence as the track unfolds beat strikes rhythm drops and peaks the higher notes......it's like this one trip your mind all of you experiences with just that one flash one visual of that one face playing on loop......

Exactly what this thing bout being obsessed mad fuckingky in love with someone is all and more about....

Loving them each evry single day moment adoring appreciating being obsessed in the most beautiful way possible bout their existence...

Manager shares this video clip of Alia bhata dancing away to ranbira track and then comments over how she is still that obsessed bout Ranbir having a baby of his being now married to him as well.....

How do you even survive a life long commitment with someone if you can't be obsessed bout them evry single day you wake up with like being in love with them is just one thing like what's that wrong being obsessed bout the same person if y8u can't be for a lifelong.....why does it have to end with once you have them in your life or a baby like how does it even change that.....like you loved the idea bout her wearing his blazer and dancingawat to his song and showing her love that way like it was most beautiful thing.....

How can you just be in love for lifelong like there's definitely gottaa be more to it than just love it's that passion that neeeeed that urge to just you know be passionately obsessed bout them with their whole existence with their details to survive something that long as a lifelong.....no wonder marriages these days don't last that long cause of the same idea of being done with once you got em in your life....like how is it the end of it it's more the start of it all!!!!!!

It's these lil snippets kinda dream this morning to that accidental nap at work cause you almost passed out whilst your manager was discussing something that's how lost and calm your mind was at with his music playing.....

Like music is life now cause the inky thing that makes you come ALIVE the way he used to cause it again makes you feeeeeeo away Him and HOW!!!!!!!!!

Just Himfullllll mind...

 It's just a utterly Himfullllll mind today I say!!!!!!

Thiiiiiis high on him aaaj tho!!!!!!

These tracks and this one track abhiii you stumble upon with that woooooosh bolkeeee strong feeeeeeeeel of Him the track is laced with!!!!!!!

It's like with every beat rhythm of the track it's just him that you caaan feeeeeel away!!!!!

The sax to be precise for the track the sax the flute the beat the floowwwww of the track and this urge like always to share awaay with him cause you for sure know he would love it and thus one wish always to see him move to tracks like these it's just the waaaaay he would zone with the track like that beauuutifully sexily insync with some track that he really loved that one visual even recalling it as you write now ayyaaaaaaaaaa one beauuuuutiful piece of art he is!!!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaaa howleeeeeeeeeeeeee how only you are being missed awaaay to and with this track ayaaaaaaaaaa if you only had the slighttttttttttest of idea !!!!!!!!

Musically Him high!!!!!

 There’s something that THAT sexyyyyyy bout music i say!!!!!!!

Its the feeeeeeeeeeels charlie a sound can make you feeeeel awaaaaaaay out of nowhere!!!!

Like you are doing somethingn else and suddenly that one sound sort of literally holds your hand and off fly highhhhhh you gooo!!!!!

From work to landing jnto a world of all things Him, like physically dont move an inch in your mind you are tooootalllly out of that zone and in his zone compleeetely!!!!!

This immmense love and passion for music i say!!!!!

Cause the waaaaaaaays it makes you feeeel him is beyond words n logics of the word!!

First two random but smthhng moments from days!!

Firstly fitting back into the shirt you again had wanted to wear with him almost 2 years or so back cause it was powder blue and wasnt fitting anymofe cause of the weight gain recently fiiiiinaaalllly all that dcking hard work actually paid off n how!!!!

Just a reflection in your most fav corner of the studio secondly being obsessed with these his blue rimmed sandals yoive got recently and this lift moment akele realisation of adoring the sandals cause how youve turned into all him from color choices of being a pink red lover to all things blue in color to just standing his way a moment of him in the lift always…….

This mind todaaaaaaay daruuu after really long cause you are just thtaaaaaaaaaaaaaa high on him aaaaj thooo bantaa thaaa!!!!!!!

Rushful mornings…!

 Its been one eventful rushfull morning today!!!!!!!!

One question what do you love the most, the context of the question being food items but the waaaaaaaaay all your mind could feeeeeel away with that pne question from ur manager was Him!!!!!!

Whats that one thing in the world that makes you feeeeel away like no other like nothing else could even possibly come close to what and how that specific thing makes you feel like……

Theres too much to write away with deadlines ahead thetes this neeed this urgency to just write something out just cause of the waaaaay anythung to do with him makes you feeel like…

Lil work highs to conversations bout loving someone stuff somethings and the way they lead to that lil beautiful simple realisation of how and till what extent someone means to you…

Workout done for now with just mind at peace, mindwritings soon!!

This mind that face today!!!!!!!

Howleeeeeeee lil big adooooooorable thing how only you were missed this morning too if only you ever knew!!!!!

Dates have a vibe!!!!!

 Some dates on the calendar tend to have a vibe of their own!!!   

And this happens with almsot any date to do with him like on that specific date the waaaaay these feeeels sort of take over you and HOW!!!!!

31july one of those vibe wala date!!!!!

Not sure what to call it recent meet or something else but its like this every year since then that one feeeeeel charlie i swear lil LILTEST did you know that day THIS long youd go without seeing him!!!!!!!

Some feels just cant hide away from!!!!!! To that wait for a dream of his who bhi nai hua!!!!!!

To just the day today some moemnt this morning and that sudden missedeing its left you with!!!!!!!

Said it before can never stop saying it THAT one face in the workd for you!!!!!!

This misseeeing higg gloomy state of mind and after two days of rest days finally got the workout done and it sure felt goood!!!

Done for the day!!!!