Highs n lowwes!!!!!

 It’s this mixed vibe days you are livin lately!!!!!

Go out find him in places moments and sounds and that one level of khushiii it lands you in is beyoooooond!!!!

Coming home that one falllll that one loweewwwwwe it hits is also beyond!!

Yesterday post work the model friend asks to meet somewhere and from there to the plan of seeing this new bistro place for fathers thing!!!!!!

The vibe the place and the first time that one feeeeeeeeeel to be with him there cause the second you enter the place they were playing bohmer and the likes of him……order the mildest drink possible like literally ask for what’s the mdest cause you didn’t want to himtalk out when high in a public space and this one time some conversation and this one guy passes by and the track playing hey ya over his phone showing it to his friend asking you remember this track……and the sound of that track and that one stronggggggg pull of Him and you literally had to stop the guy asking which one it was and stops by to show had to be one of His moemnts!!!!!!!

It was from the movie you’d seen with him in the theatre when you wrote last and delete it immediately cause don’t wanna kill this vibe of the morning like this one…

Ever since then one ear pug in and play that track on loop for a bit as she gets busy on some shootcall but that viiiiiiibe that feeeeeeel when you missed him the most the second you enter the place that one big wish to be there with him as you loved the music the space something bout the asthetics and then to find him in some sound was beyooooond!!!!!!

It’s that rush of him all through the evening to coming back home and the way it all starts to rush from the very start and that one missing mode lost mode it lands you in still thinking bout the wish of wanting to be there with him…

To playing his some artist tracks that you found your lil peace back again and sleep to it still browsing through the tracks…….

And this time tho it’s absolute absolute MADNESS when he comes the same exact way for 5 times in a row wearing the same sexyyyyyyyyeeee black sheeer softest shirt in the same ways of his missing, what’s even happening when switching sides to sleep to luterallly sniffing his scent away and the waaaaaay he pulls you to the wall and the saaaaame exaaaaaact feeeeel sound touch taste of him the exaaaaact same rush and the waaaaaay he keeps saying the same word over n over again as moves over you holding you don’t give up don’t give up and then just don’t pls dont it’s the word plus the seeeeexxxxxxxxxyyyyyyyyyyiest way he was saying it in that low tone of his holding you pulling you closer…….

It’s also what makes you miss him the most living his rush living his missing for you in that way and then to wake up still with this confusion you just donnoooo!!!!!!

This morning toooo you wake up with that dream rush of him and soon as the alarm goes off you still turn instead of getting off the bed and that scent of him again that you could still smell beside you and ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that very moment your heart I swear that one big jump it lived in that moment!!!!!!

And you wake up to see him and realise you were up finally but  still half asleep with that lil amount of sleep you managed!!!!!!

To see him in that same shirt then to see him that way then to sniff him that way then to touch him that way then to breathe him that way and then to wake up and not find him that way this mind right now too!!!!!!

It’s that need that urgency to get in the workout and then to live him more!!!!  

And then to live him again as you move move along with you again when you stop in between close your eyes for a bit and make another wish in that very moment this morning…….

I swear charlie the waaaaaaaays you can feeeeeeeel him move touch feeeeel you along as you move that in sync and aligned with you is something else only!!!!! 

This mind already THIS high on him!!!!!

And that too on a day with too much work to tackle in one day how only you are going to have a straight mind to think and follow work with this HIMHIGHD!!!!!!!

Moments!!!!

 There were many times when he would take you home and leave in his sisters room to be with her sometime and there were these versions of him that you used to get to live of him in that time…

Initially the way he would have that happy smile on and as time passed by the waaaaaaay his smile would change his complete face would and this one time the way he mentions this as you go to him after she leaves for the shower saying you had this exact change on your face when you talk bout his face changing every time he came to the room…….the waaaaay he instead talks bout your face and that was also making him come show his face to you cause he missed seeing that expression on you of missing him and he loved seeing that on you……..

Something’s you write now and this feeeeeeeeeeel now!!!!!!!

Moments!!!!!

 At his place spending time with his sister in her room and the way he keeps coming and checking on you initially happy that you were having a good time with her and later the more he comes the way smile goes a lil every single time and this one time you were laying over her bed and with her beside and looking at the ceiling upside down on the edge of the bed……

And he comes closer in a way trying to tell her something but the way as she turns to get something to give him the waaaaay he brings his face closer to yours and just stays that way……there was that instant rush in the way he comes that close and to live a moment like that one for the first time over the bed in that position there was that rush in you and in him when he again comes back to the room and stands there this time he looked different the way he was looking at you looked different and that one feeeeeeeeeeeeeel in you to runnnnnnnnnnn to him just the waaaay he stood there at the door looked at you and went back to his room…

Mins after his sister literally makes an announcement in a way telling him too that she was heading for the bath in a way that was your green signal to run to him and the second she heads to his dads room for the shower you runnnn to his room his room door stil shut and before you knock he opens the door and pulls you and closes the door and takes you to the all out corner of his room that you used to call it back then as it used to have those mosquito things back then beside his bathroom and he would always unplug it one hand with the other in that rush as he pulls your hair and takes you to that corner……..it’s that rush in him that missing in him even writing it now your hands shiver it was THAT much like you could feeeeeel it in the way he was breathing high in his look that stare you can never forget the waaaaaay he looks you in the eye and pulls the hair a lil more and pushes you against the wall and just looks at you as you tryi to go closer to chummi him the way he pulls you back instead and just looks you in the eye and that one nod of his and you were done and you still try to go closer to chummi him and he again does the same thing and that restlessness in you and that one smiiiiiiiiiiile of his just watching you that way and eventually finalllllllkly kisses you away it wasn’t just a kiss that prolly was the first time he literally chummi eats your face up one time when he pushes you a lil hard against the wall and you make the tiniest sound not even a complete sound as you were still in the moemnt but as it hurts your back or something and the waaaaaaaay he stops the kiss and moves a lil away and you couldn’t take that distance for a second and you go closer and the waaaaaaaaaaay he chuckles away in between saying areee lemme see if it hurt you and you nod not wanting him to move away and that rushhhhhh of him again………the waaaaaaaaay he was moving all of you over you just moving in that rush his breath his hand all and any of him and that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeel of him having missed you and it was in that moment when his sister comes and stands and you see her and scares the out of you……..

And the waaaaaaay he literally dancing screaming away takes her back to the room and runs back to you saying ok let’s continue and by then you were in tears with that shame guilt or something that being caught by her…….it’s like having caught by a kid kinda feeeeel it felt worse then and the waaaaaay he holds you and makes you sit down on the floor him against the wall and he pulls you in between his legs and just holds you saying just stay this way for a bit as you keep telling him to go to his sister and check on her……but the way he keeps saying no pls stay this way I need this for a bit and that feeeeeeeeeeel suddenly when he holds you that way holding all of you away with all of him at the back….like the tears stop fataaaak se and you tell him this feels good nai and the waaaaaaaay he fataaaak se in that adoooooorable tone tells you so now we can continue as this is feeling good!!!!!

Something’s you write and relive that sound of his voice saying the same thing away as you write now!!!!!   

Ayyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that sound of him that love of his!!!!!!!!

HIM meraaaaaa pooooooora ka poooooooooora heart and everything in between I say!!!!!

Doo!!!!!

 U try you dooo try do your best to sober up to try your level to get back to normal mode normal mood of mind like miss the random things bout him think of the random things bout him to as simple as the way he used to walk to stand in the lift or just adooooorablh get mad at you like you know normal things missing and then there comes this one dream and he keeps coming the only and exact way for over 3 mornings now…….

How like how do you even put the belts on your mind hold back your mind the waaaaaaaaaaay it just plays on loop on your mind the waaaaay he looks at you first then pulls you closer it’s like all of it any and every bit of exaaaaaactlu how you lived the same exact moment with him in his room….

Only this time it’s this him from the dreams is the him from today so it’s not even like you are replaying the very same moment intentionally on your mind even writing out now this one feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel of his hands in the hair and the waaaay even writing it now it’ gives you that shake n shiver and HOW!!!!!!

Am telling you nai charlie some nights have this lilst spark of magic and madness and the waaaaay this one tonight feels the same and what better way to peak the madness away than to play his tracks ayyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this feeeeeeeeeel of him this you ityrandorms you away in a sec of a moment and how!!!!!!

The word…!

 How like how does this even land you in this mooooood this viiiiiibe of some nights!!!!!!

Playing this word puzzle over the book with the music playing sipping over a milddddder martini it’s like a slow night as you give up on looking for some movie and just wanted to be without the hush…

Laying over the floor playing the puzzle in the book and every single time this one band cigarettes after sex brings his line back every single damn time…I have cigarettes!!

When you share him a track of the band and he says this…………

It’s this mind this mooooood it’s lands you in even after the workout today when your model friend drops over without even telling you and brings over your ultimate fav banana pudding from magnolia that you’ve been off over 2 months now with this new no sugar thing….and this one game she starts off with it’s a word game to say the first thing that comes to your mind when you say some random word…with a time limit who takes more time loses it…

It’s when with almost a series of words and every single word it’s all him you could think of and you just couldn’t help just couldn’t help but smile every single time you had to skip it cause obvs you couldn’t have said his name out to ring with the word along…and the way this other friend immediately notices that and asks you who is he!!!!!

It’s this haaaaalat of yours it’s landed in ever since that one same dream on repeat 3 nights in a row or mornings actually and for the first time you dumma at work for 2 days in a row cause you just COULDNT think straight or be normal or get back to normal…….

Even now as you were still at it playing the game and finding words and as you turn position this one strongggggggg feeeeeeeeel of his hand over your hair just like he used to pull it exactly that same feeeeeel from the dream too to this very moment seconds back that sameeeee pull and the waaaaay it shakes you to makes your mind trip on all those moments you lived that feeeeeo for real and to think of it now it was always when athis place in his room…

It’s this instanttttttt feeeeeeeeeeel of him it fills you with not sure if even the midlerrrrrr martini is working or it’s just this beauuuuuuty of him magic at this hour and suddenly this one inside feeeeeeeel of him that’s rushing through you RIGHT NOW NOW!!!!!!!

Saving the pull away and HOW!!!!!!!!!

In your eyes!!!!!

 When he has beeen comiuiiiiuuu g the sameeee waaaaaaay every morning possible and then yeterday also comes in the shower toooo ayyyaaaaaaaaaa when you mix martini with vodka and this mind it’s landed you in daruuu after a break turns out baaad baaaaaad idea I say!!!!!

Either you darruuu or no daruuu at all there no giving break to the daaaru and then daruu again!!!!!

Cause this mind right nowwww dancing away having this himhyyyyyyd party on and how I say!!!!!!

Pulls you closer throws you literally against the wall and chummi eats your face away and howwwwwwwww to feeeeeelijfw the sameee ditto moemnt in the shower when sunitee leaves the floor allll tickyyy away and you skip slip against the wall and showerrr ayutoanyic gets on and that feeeeel over the neckeeee it leaves you with that same exaaaaact feeeeel from the morning alsoooo what did he exaaactu do the same way back then in his room too secons before caught by his sister!!!!!!

Ayyaaaaaaaaaaa thissssss feeeeeeeeeleeeeeee right nowwwwwww wen u don’t care bout the rext of the tack but this one line I seeeeeeeee mussssssiz in your euyeees cause that’s wzaaaaactly how you felt every single time zoooop boljeeeee diving awayaaaaa into his stareeee ayaaaaaaaaaa this mind right nowwwww!!!!!!!!!!

Dancing skipping away to this one tripppppchippppy track I say that’s making you feeeeeleeee things awaaaaay how temeeee howwwww do u even puttt brekluuuu to a state of mind like this to him a dream like that oneeee howww u sit and temmeee how u are struggling to write type and yet this aboiii immeeediateeeeeee ugency to write out this feeeleeeeee this mossssing abiiii ekkkk abiiiii!!!!!!!

Wearinge him pinkflouyf feeeleeeeeing him awyaaaaaa and howwwwwww I seeeeeeeeeeee musicxxxxxxx in youreeeee eueyeeeeeesssssssssass this vibeeeeee righteenoewwwwww!!!!!!!

Him I sayaaaaaaa urondonteee even neeed his psybeediey just him hyddddddd and hwoeeeeee!!!!!!!!

Like aowyeees cgaelie it’s just him enougheee u woudneyet even a need a psybeediey ever I syaaaaa higheeeeer u tkeheeee meeeeeeee I s eeeeeeee musicxxxxxx in youreeee eyessssss!!!!!!!!!

Andddddd!!!!!!

 Anddddddddd you are able to post again!!!!!!!

The second it shows done some missings you just CANT hold back in I say!!!!!!

Nah just only can’t!!!!!!!!