Him!!!!!

 Lilst of things to do with him and the levels of happiness it brings you fataaaaak se!!!!!!

That one face in the world in moments like these!!!!

Watching this Jennifer movie and this one scene!!!!!

Smoke ringssss ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that ONE FACE I sweaaaaaar he used to make soon after making them with that wait of your expression knowing how much you loooooved him doing it or the first time just knowing you that well that for the first time itself definitely knowing you will love it bolke!!!!!!!!

Howleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you gorgeous gorgeeeeeeeous lil big sexy thing how only you were missed abhiiiii k abiiii!!!!!!!!

Sound of magic…!

 It’s a beauuuuuutiful beauuuuutiful madness the waaay some sounds bring him along and HOW!!!!!!!!

Gulmohar!!!!!

 This loooooooove for gulmohars!!!!!!

Adding more gulmohars at the studio probably the second best thing ever somethings and the amount of sudden Khushi visually they can bring along is beeeeeyond words!!!!!!

Every single time the visual of Gulmohar brings him and his face along and how!!!!!!

Him picking em out for you and that one face of his soon as he watches your excitement over it…am sorted can get these more often for you and that’s when you didn’t even know it’s love the waaaay it just made him that happy seeing you happy over gulmohars…

This very moment now this Khushi and that Him I swear!!!!!

Andddd it makes it to your phone ka wallpaper fataaak se!!!!!

Soul window!!!!!

 Like that was the start of love for capturing saving moments away even be it trees from the dreams or his book from school like anything that had that sense of him you loooved to capture…..today when you sit there and hear them compliment over how you were working on images like these from a phone and also directing the shots and poses like all could feeel live was him……it’s these moments the way they always take you back to the start like how it all started this love to capture moments him in places n things with his absence and then work related now with portraits she adds something like you bring out the beauty in people where the same model doesn’t look that great in other projects the way she does in your shoot….

It’s how you see things charlie like he had said put your heart into it it’s like everytime the first time you start the shoot with first image there’s always his face that you see from that very moment every single time…

Pictures photography that beautiful window to the soul it’s not what you see it’s how you see them that makes all the difference and this art of him and his photography is also something you miss the most sometimes even writing now the waaaay that very moment rushes through you!!!!!!!

Like every single shoot something’s you just can’t help it bas aise he woooosh bolke there he is and that fataaaak smile on your face and you proceed with the rest of them……

There are some immeasurable ways and times you miss him in and with it’s just tooooo toooooooo much missing lately charlie like today too on your way back this rush of him like before everything else he loved you just the way you were with nothing you were specially when you think someone is your friend now and eventually the purpose comes out that clear like today!!!!!!

To these feeeeels of just missing all of him his words his eyes his smiles n nods his hands fingers palm of his hand the hair on his hand that daaaaadi n forehead of him his ayyyaaaaaa deliciously yummmmm momo nosie his pouty lips to just his sound saying your name over n over again!!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!! This mind I swear!!!!!!

Window to your soul…!

 To this day today when the manager and this another influencer friend plan evening out at her place over drinks…..and this time you stick to your one bottle cause you know you messed up last time by day dreaming him amidst people so this time you were well prepared and this conversation to another conversation leads to the photography about you and your pictures and directing the image and movements for portrait cause you recently did with another influencer friend of yours…..

Like she talks bout how there were some friends of hers working on their first movie protects and asked her who worked on her pictures and if they could get that done too and she did confirm on the female and somehow adds there was this guy too who is working on his first project and asked if you could shoot for him and somehow knowing you how much I have I knew you wouldn’t do that for a guy project and rechecks with you the same……

That very moment that lil inside conversation was that that evident in your actions and you nod away saying yes for the female one to which picture was the first one you’d clicked and there he comes and howwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!

There were these mani Ratnam tracks playing in the ball ground you were high on the strongest beer you’d ever had single one bhi and that very moment that beauuuuuuuty of him over the flyover the very first picture you ever clicked in Life was His and from his phone……

It was that feeeeeel charlie as he shows you how to use the camera as he thought you were clicking something else and instead you click his cause you did discover the beauty of capturing moments with him from him his way of love to capture you in some very special moments and the after feels it always used to leave you with like it all was rushing through you in that very moment as you take your fone and head downstairs in the lobby and just be with his music and his visuals playing on loop and you just sit here with eyes shut……

Some moments nai charlie just like that woooosh bolke suddenly you are in the most loved time of your life eyes shut and there he was smiling shyllllly away and that one moment when he finally looks into the camera and let’s you take his picture!!!!!!!

Howleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you beauuuuuutoful lil big adooooorable thing how only you were missed abiiiii k abhiiiii again slightest bhi if you knew I swear!!!!!!!

Biggest fan!!!!!

 Definiiiitely his biggest fan ever since Him!!!!!!

Way he talks walks sounds looks his any to every sense of existence biggest fan ever and then to visually live his work was something else!!!!!!

That one strong something feeel like on your way back you take a longer route home playing over his music with that loop of visuals from that evening in your balcony as he talks bout his love and passion for films to asking what yours was and you just look at him and that adoooorablu chuckles over apart from me and you tell him about how much wanted to pursue animation and that close to it as bhayya had plans for your studies in animation and after it never really happened and the way he talks about YouTube and online learning of the same like this whole conversation bout wanting to be something big having his name on the big screen making good films writing good stories and to yours wanting to see you achieve something in life by adding I know have seen if you put your heart into something you turn it beautiful like you did with yourself working at the gym when I used to watch you or by coming into my life it was that one strong belief of his charlie the ways his words were coming back to you that day post movie……

His face that beauuuuutifully lit up as he was sharing his future with you to imagining and making your envision yours lil did you know his very words would come true someday and like this!!!!!!!

Something’s you write and this feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel it suddenly overloads you with in this very moment!!!!!!!!

To live…!

 To live someone as you love them, this art of loving someone this way of loving someone was something you did learn from him cause that was exactly how he loved you…something’s again you write and re read it it hits and hurts you on another level nai that blink of realisation of something like that……..in past tense!!!!!!

Exactly what you’d felt writing the moemnt out about having to watch his first film and his words over the Skype call saying those very words and then to landing back to the other recent chat and his words again that one huge wall of difference and it’s also times like these when this world of dreams and moments is one world and this one the other that he actually made it clear with you about!!!!!!

But despite of all this there is this still strong connection that makes you keep going back to how and what it makes you feel like that same him in dreams literally talking sharing his love for you in actions and words sometimes…

Soooo yaaaah back to movie…….

Been working on lil lil changes on the interior front as the shoots are mainly indoors now so changing redoing up a few corners had you all tied up and couldn’t manage sometime out and finally when you do the very first thing that you thaaaat badly wanted was to see this film of his that he had edited and the second the movie starts to that first scene of bangles on her hand the white n red the same white bangles that he had got for you from Bangalore……the waaaaay it fataaak se brings that smile on you and that strange feeeeling of something that beautiful His presence…

To as you watch more that feeeeeeeling charlie was a beauuuuty beyond words he was here his hands all over the work it’s his work his edited crafted his handcrafted something first to watch it on big screen just like he talked about a decade back…..

It just felt very very beauuutifully different thought it wasn’t his directed one or written one but it was his work charlie his handcrafted something something that he had his hands on he was right there in that very same place his jazzy sock story as it’s raining out from that very place like it all rushes through you manager asking something and then commenting how she’d never seen you watch any movie like that before……

Cause it actually felt like that heart swelling away with pride and that much joy like you wish you could get off head over to the screen and just hold hug it away screaming it’s his work to the wait for the end credits some Rao to assistant some vishal and you still wait doesn’t happen……

And that inside lil conversation same feeels ye log sab yahi hai kaam koi aur Kare naam kisi aur ka like sometimes the same happens with you too outfits yours and the name these so called celebrity’s tag is of the stylist but overall that one feeeeeeeel charlie like it was that experience of visually living his dream his words and with that much Khushi rushiiiiiiing through you recalling reliving his face his words of someday karely someday….