Soul loved!!!!!

 Still in bed and not ready to face the reality side of the day yet…….its when youve been soul loved like you feeeeel it still in the core of you with himcomings like these……..its like now just before you feeel the sleep sliding you somehow in a way have this thing on your mind pls wear the white shirt instead cause black lately has been giving away the feeeeels i say…

And this one today he comes in black and that one look on him he had pointing towards his black shirt on in ishara knowing what it does to you…its this beauuuuuuuuuty of some dreams moments after the waaaaaaaaaaaaays he has been coming living that version of him liivng that version of yourself with him and this viiiiibe this mooood it leaves you in…….and today youve been turning changing sides now for almost over 30mjns and still nope not happening day is not dayed yet for you in your mind…

Still not ready yet its just not happening today this beauuuuutifully him highhdddddddd i say….like you close your eyes and he is still there with that same sexyyyyyyyyyygorgeous smirk on him looking his insaaaaaaaanely beautiful self in that one thing i swear!!!!!!

Nope not daying at all yet…!

MOMENTS!!!!!

 When the net goes discon at that one point while writing!!!!!

It’s like being interrupted living the moment for real and somebody just pats you asking bhai Saab time kya hua hai kinda weird interruption I say……cause to write him is like being there in that same place with him again living that exact same moment again with him just leaning over reaching out to move your collar to see his color of love on you…

That very same second you try to move your collar again trying to hide it as there were people around and the way he instead again moves the collar off your skin and tries to bend it in a way just so it’s seen and tells you lemme see too we are not at home right around your or my family…

And you realise yaa know why hide from people you didn’t even know and you let it be but in that moment it was more bout how happy absolutely beauuuuuutifully happy it was making him seeing it on you…no matter where what you were working out that day even during weights and back pulls the way he comes usual stands beside you doing arm weights as you are on the that back pull machine weight kinda thing and looks at you through the mirror smiling happiest away……

Only during the post stretch with him again showing you how to he actually shares saying that was the first time he looked at that on you for the longest without you having to hide it…

It was that simple that almost nothing but the waaaaaaaay he talks bout it the waaaaaaaaaay he shared that with you saying few more things away made you realise re realise his love for you that day too…

Being stamped by him HOW happy it used to make you feel away ayyaaaaaaa something’s you relive and this feeeeeeel now!!!!!!

Where to where only it went I say……..

Asking mom to come along since days just so you can live that moment of himcoming on his stories and today too as she leaves for bed early you hastily excitedly ask her if she did leave her phone no and she just looks at you wondering what you were talking bout and heads to the room……

Like Kaise control karna charlie auyaaaaaaaaa some feeeels no don’t need a reason they just feeeel away like that only for no reason and things or anything to do with him has always been this way…….

No wonder his ultimate fav thing to call you howli exactly knowing you the way you are…….

There he was with ringo and some cat story and that too makes you happy away it’s like finding him in your random cafe moemnt today itself to finding his random moment on the same day…..

Nothing mush here tho just feeeeels I say!!!!!!

Stringeddd!!!!

 Same cycle spot after love!!

Clearly remember this one same way hits the stop on treadmill and takes you to the cycle spot bringshis cycle closer to yours and even though it was fixed with some fixture to the floor and there was this aunty on the other corner and she jokes with him saying nope it won’t work you will have to stay away from her and finish the workout and the waaaay he jokes back saying it will as I have to be close to her and he does manage to move it closer to yours…..

And she happily wishes away saying god bless you both and him usual talking bout something random and making you cycle as you hated it back then and still do like just can’t get yourself to cycle……and this one new tee you we’re wearing that day with some collar style again was to cover his color of love on you and the waaaaay he leans over moves the collar away and notices it and ayyyaaaaaaaaaa the waaaay it makes him that happy away like his eyes were glued on to that color on you like he literally looks at you on stretch for a min or two and that THAT face of his in that moment every single time the same THE happiest face possible just seeing that on you……could never make sense how why it used to make him that happy away like you had your reason for it  being his spot on you but him feeling that way could never understand !!!!!!

HIM!!!!!!!

 Him being HIM!!!!!!!!

Him being his random most and yet the waaaaaaaays it makes your heart feeeel away I say!!!!!!!

It’s this beauuuuuuuty now when out looking for him yaha wahaaaaa kahaaaaaa lahaaaaaaaaaaaa to find him somewhere and today at this new cafe place finding another one of your caramel flavoured coffees this new thing of finding the best caramel anything at all and looking around heart just happy tripping on his music and this one random guy walks around white tee shirt white chaddis and white does and that very same second a newly opened cafe playing iktara was puuuureeeeee magic……at that very same second of his style spotting today!!!!!

It’s that level of Khushi it suddenly fills your heart up with is because it takes you back to again looking at him in the eye being spotted by him for the first time his first time……through the mirror that one stare him wearing the same exact thing……..

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaa the waaaaaays it did bring back all those first time seeing him living him away trying to look for him in the corners of the gym……just pure falling in love with him and not even knowing it was love…

Like there’s this magic almost magic like aura around him that pull that one something right from the very start……with him always around you beside your treadmill not talking still doing his namesake slowest walk possible and the way he would beech beech a zillion times look at you and this one time he chuckles out saying am sorry but the way you run was making me smile away……he was actually there making fun of your run but to see him smile auyaaaaaaaaaa it had your heart every single time……..and you ask him how do you actually run and he shows you how not to run instead like tries to correct your form of run instead…

Lilst thing bout him ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa it’s that one sigh even reliving now your heart lives I say!!!!!

To just holding your hand getting you off the treadmill and making you cycle next to him along with him even just as friends…

Like literally hits stop on the treadmill holds your hand takes you to the cycle and that feeeeeeeel to just live that side of him…….it was like he literally was taking you off n away to all things Him…like making you his even before you knew it was love after all!!

Things you write and one thing to the other it goes and how!!!!!

All it took was his stories again am telling that one most loved circle rounding away has your heart literally circling over away I say!!!!!!!!

HOOOWWE!!!!!

 Howwwwwww like HOWWWWWEEEEEE can you possibly POSSIBLY be still madly in love this myaaaaaaadly in loooove even 15 years after now with that one face in the world for you like THIS!!!!!!!

When he comes driving away literally in the dteam too and sings away hums away the same ditto song and comes closer ayyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this heart right now even reliving the moment now like actually living that same moment even writjng now!!!!!!!!!

He is that poetry in motion he is that fluid of magic in vision ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that one beauuuuuuuty of the whole of HIM!!!!!!!!!!!

Every lilst detail of him LOOOOOOOOOOOVE i say!!!!!!!

It’s like the mind is soooooooooo high on him from that one moment the way he moves and comes closer to standing still at a distance is your call to go closer that one pull thaaaaaaaaaaaat one pull of him with just the waaaaay he looks at you ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ayyaaaaaaaaaaayoooooooooooo cutieeeeeeee kittuuuuuuuuuuu miyaaaaaaa i say!!!!!!!!

How much how kucb how many waaaaaays youve lived and missed him in that same black shirt and yet yearned so bad to see him for real in it!!!!!!

Him in that shirt is all things love LOVE looks like innocence beauty charming passionate wild madness ooodles of naughty charm that rough edgy almost side of humor like just in the way he moves smiles nods and walks away ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa how only how onlyyyyyyyyy do you even tame this missing away now……..

To coming that closer that you could hear his heart beating away your face with all and just HIM!!!!!!!

This morning feeels diffferent its like connecting dots from reality to your dream world to back in reality as you are up again to still be able to smell him on your pillow or on you…

Somethings you write and this feeeeeeeeeel now all over again…!

Complete pooora heart…!

 Right from that very first instance how only he did become your complete pooooora ka poooooora heart away nai even before you realised it, he knew it!!!!!!!

It’s when you don’t even know yoruself why what or how something’s just meant to be I say……

Like right from that first walk of his him literally walking into your life and that has remained the same, def love him more than you did back then but apart from that it’s this feeeeeel that hasn’t changed a bit……usually with time like loving someone over a period of time you somehow feel it go normal like it’s a everyday thing but the waaaaaay it’s always been that way with him even back then the waaaay he would chuckle away bout your expression the second you see him every single time…there was always that ayyyaaaaaaaa it’s Him every single time you see him!!!!!!

It’s also when you realise how being loved by someone you eventually start to love their way too…….his face every single time seeing you that first smile on him that almost lil spark in his eyes and this you did tell him cause it was the same in those post bup meets too and you even mention bout it saying you had put on a lil weight and even then he still had tat same smile on him and the waaaaay he realises it and looks away in that low tone pouting his lips away startinf the car says ab it’s you…and that beautiful silence with that one constant smile on him as he drives around…

Finding your most beauuuuuutiful calm and GORGEOUS chaos all in that one face in the world for you I say!!!!!!

Visuals!!!!

 Some visuals nai charlie bring back your almost complete life in that one plate and place it before you and you just watch it all over again relive it all over again……

His drive visual and the waaaaaaays it did bring back that complete time of your life right from where it did start after all…….falling in love all over n over again with him everytime you lived him on drives…

The sound of his voice talking him chuckling his facial details every lil detail of him him walking him sitting in that specific laid back style as he used to drive to those sudden moments on drive when he would start to twist his back in those side stretches and in that complaining tone karely back dukhri and as you slide your hand behind his back to massage or press it and the waaaaaaay he would smiiiiiiiile away that one smile……looking you in the eye and that one nod back ka nai maloom kuch aur he hora!!!!!

It’s like his face used to almost say it all away in moments…..

Be it around his or your family his face ayyaaaaaaaaa even with your family too everybody talking something and him standing at the door just looking at you ayyyaaaaaa even just before dropping you home the waaaaaay he would just look at you and you make some bahaana and again head out to the steps place with him and the waaaaaaaaaaay he would just hold you away that very second that strong rush of his missing like you’d been all day almost with him and him dropping you back and yet on some days like you could see it all over him he wasn’t ready to leave you home yet……

Something’s you write!!!!!!!!!

Years after that same expression every single after him asking you to leave and then again that expression right at the door and as you hug him before leaving the waaay his arms never used to be ready to leave you……

SOMETHINGS!!!!!!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this mind this night of music this feeeeeeeel this rush of him how do you even!!!!!!