Feels!

 Some feels nai can never grow used to.....

This moment here half asleep his niladri music playing as you turn and still in almost sleep this one visual of his face up-close like you are feeling his face away his skin his nose his forehead and your most beloooooved daaaaadi of his and that strong rush of missing as you realise you were just changing the sides left ti righr.....and that need to live him on WhatsApp get there and realise back to same...

That this very feeeeeeeeel of not being able to live him!!!!!

Moment!!

 This one moment and this sudden realisation your morning most loooooooved and looked forward to moment has just changed... Again!!

When you can't see him on WhatsApp anymore this one feeeeel right now after noticing this!!

This feeeeeeling na can never grow used to!

No matter how many times you've lived this for!

This weird feeeeeel insude right now..!

Every single time!!

 Some habits just grow stronger with you over time...

Every single time there's some news about Bombay even be it weather this one thing constantly this worry this weird feel if he is okay and safe...

Probably don't even exist anymore for him but this thought alone doesn't didn't change the fact of your life...

Weird nai it's been too much music too much feels for him kinda day today aaj......working on reels finding new music and missing him all the more with the weather new update back of your mind!!

Something's nai donno how why or what but is still there!!

Be it that moment too over a call with photographer explaining about how the over exposed edit you wanted to be changed and the way the photographer talks about the kit in Bombay and not carrying and the usual edit process with the sutta music and vibe to work on the best edit possible......and as the photographer is traveling couldn't work the best on these few edits......

And in your head you already knew about His edit process the way he used to back then it's like as the photographer was talking bout it you closing your eyes and living him in his space with the sound of his voice explaining you that very same thing with his music playing in the background!!

It's the waaaaaaaaaay lilst random moments bring Him along and howwwweeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

Now as you are working on some reel thus one new music find again and this state of Him it lands you in...

Again today!!

The sound of magic...!

 The sounds of him magic !!

Moments...!

 Some movies and this mooood they can leave you with...

Like just what your soul needed kinda vibe!!

Another one of those absolute Him movies...

To this very scene from the film and thus something it fills you up with right now!!

Be it this moment or that moemnt from the early morning shoot...

Model the second she sits on the chair to get her makeup ready and you were checking on the final checks with the set and jewellery, you standing out looking at her she gets her Marshall, out of her bag and the first track she plays come away with me... It's this lovefor music and then to know what goes in others head when it comes to music and she plays that track first of all songs....

Instant first conversation the way she asks you I think you love the track the way it put a smile on your face instantly, and chat away with her about music for quite a whiiile..... She immediately saves the number away with something to do with music thing and shows you and you don't even remember now......

Cut 2 another moment of him magic, set ready and just after her first change with the set right next to the makeup that beautifully lit like you were in awe of the mood lighting setup by the Bombay crew!

The him magic right there very very filmy model enters no sound you enter the second inside tum ho starts to play it was maaaagic like you loooooved that very moment..... as the makeup guy does the final touches somebody from the crew plays the track again like till then you were goosebumps shutting your eyes away and living thatahic of the moment...

It's when you felt him the strongest with you as crazy as it may sound you did...

The entire experience with Marathi conversation around Marathi lavni music Taal songs like the whole vibe like you are there in his Bombay that feeeeeel inside that rush inside of you......it was magical!!

Like the first proper campaign you can say and what an experience it was...

Professional to the core just like how it should be and the viiiiiibe of him max core possible!!

And tonight you just wanted to be cause it was that hectic too like you almost fainted yesterday constantly standing for all those 10 hours of the shoot checking back n forth so today had to be chill and this one movie that beautifully in-sync I say!!

Some moemnts nai!!!!!!!! This defffffff the most special shoot of all done till date soo far... The entire day like you are in Bombay in your head!! To after the wrap when the team catches up with byes and stuff the main crew chills for a bit and one of them offers the passing psychedelic beedi of his asking if you wouod want to the smell the smoke in the air thick visually and there he was again back in Versova with that same visual of the looooove of your life I say!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaa amidst the smoke and you just nod and say a no and back to packing away!! Something's nai!!!!!! Out of nowhere Him magic!!

Mood!!!!!

 There is this beauty in moments like these!!

Every single time when you find him in a moment like this too the waaaaaay it makes your heart feel is beyond logics!!

Working on last bits for the shoot tomo finally named as Pitta which is a small bird in telgu OFC had to be a bird!!!!!

Vanam theme goes all wrong and complete shitshow after the painter issue thing like what to whsaaaaat it turned out and then entire theme had to be changed and reworked on..

That's when baby steps of growing trying to add more depth to the campaign one suggestion to the other recommendation and you finally decided to go with a Bombay fotograoger instead....

Ever since then the planning on calls WhatsApp long meets it hasn't been easy but it's spoppoooooo good to plan a shoot like this too.....

It's been one beautiful learning process chaos but a beautiful one... Making of Pitta!! Another one for the loooooove for the blue bird of your life!!

To for the first time trying set designing too and suggesting the photographer otherwise as didn't sync well with the vibe of yours outfits and gives it a go.....

To this very moment planning on music final model mood poses selection to the videographer thing and this song of his starts to play out of the playlist and that insgat smile on you ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaa cause of the waaaaaays he just rushed through you!!!!!!!

His recent most tagged pic and howwwweee3ee you are in absolute loooooooooooooove with him all over again the waaaaaaay he looks that gorgeous in that tooooo him folding his arms away wearing that khaki jacket of his fullll grown beauuuuuuuuuty of his daaaaadi flexing his arms away cause the jacket uses to fit him too snug.....

It's that smiiiiiiile of his it's that beauuuuuuuuuty of his daaaaaaadi his pose that way him that way allllllll of him ayyyaaaaaaaaaaa this heart I swear !!!!!!!!!!

Him your ultimate gorgous calm and chaos all at once I say!!!!!!

Miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!

Howwwweeeeee onlyyyyy!!!!!!!

Sound...

 Amidst all the planning and confusion one post out of nowhere draws attention and that moment of sound of magic happens!!

The song to that post was His music...Nusratji longing!!

The sound the conversation the timeline he dedicates it twice to you...

It's beautiful how a sound takes you back to that exact very moment you heard it for the first time...

Somewhere around the month of June 24-26th some year post bup the very first conversation on Skype it was and he dedicates that track to you....

Years after him in Bombay when his house was setting up and some curtain rod guys come over to set it up he keeps you on hold on Skype and comes back and it's playing on your side of the window and he smiiiiiles that adooooorably saying you still listen to this and dedicates it you again and asks you kiddingly ittee der mein ittaa miss kari merko for the time he just got uo and checked the work and came back to you...

Something's you write some sentences that form as you write some sounds you listen and the waaaaaaay these camake you feel is beyond words and logics...

When the photographer and his stylist team have come down from Bombay and that weird thought on your mind to sniffher away just to smell the same air as Bombay as Him......

Weirdly crazily poetic thought tho!!

The things a heart madly in looooove comes up with nai!!

HEART!!

 THE heart of your eyes I sayyyy!!!!!!

Whaaaaataaaaa daaaaaay it's been reaching home almost from what to what and then there was that one spark of magic HIM!!!!!!

This HEARTTTTTTT these eyessssss every single time you live anything him to live HIM!!!!!!

Ultimate level of HEARTNESS rushing all through you every vein of you!!!!!!!

Singaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that one adooooooooorably gorgous daaaaaaaadily beauty of dexterness and Johnny Bravo I say!!!!!!!!!

How only howwwwwweeeeeeeee onlyyyyy!!!!!!!!!

This!!!!!

 Some moments the timing and this inexplicable level of joy they give you evoke in you no sound nothing just the visual and the timing of the visual !!!!!!!

It's become that hour of your day after lomgessssssst of work days before campaign release when you are on your own on the table or couch his music playing nibbling on food away and your mind just content with the work and now in the himzone fully.......

Like it's for few mins to hours and then scheduling the work for next day......

It's when you that beauuuuutifulky and slowly transition into becoming the you from back then like just let yourself be fully soaking in away the him moments from the day reflecting back smiling away and missing him more away....

And his work visuals to his Bombay drive vibe it just hits differently and noting away the locations to try when in Bombay for the next campaign.....

It's just the process that pure almosr magic like trippy vibe of some moemnts or maybe it's just your mind supeeeeeer high on him like even now to waking upto him sometime back and seeing another visual of his almost same timing as when you were missing him away the most.......reliving his voice away from the Bombay drive...

Where to where I say!!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa how only howwwwwweeeeeeeee only you are being missed away if he only knew charlie every single time a missing strikes like this THIS!!!!!!!!!

Psyyyychedelic!!!!

 His mind this viiiiiibe!!!!!!!!

How you are actually loooooving his work stories it's absolute madness it's absolute happiness I say!!

The way strangely it brings back his on the way to bombay memory along him on the call all the way through telling he is crossed this he has crossed that and just bout reached Bombay and there's too much traffic for him to pass...and would take him another 1-2 hours to fully reach within the city limits...and then suddenly at some signal he starts to chuckle away that adooooooooorably saying I didn't even realise reached this early and it felt like you were with me all through the drive......

Baaju mein baithke was talking it felt like.....

It's that viiiiibe of sound with visuals to that moody vibe of the set with those psychedelic lights and brings back his dd space lighting setup that he had back then...

Stringgggggg of memories nai some visuals can bring along!!

All this when you are on calls deciding which model and discussing with mom the team of photographers and discussing angles of the models and zeroing down final ones and yuy get off taking mom's phone just cause you noticed the beloved halo over him......

It's that rush it's that need that level of urgency to live a moment of his away and now nowwwweeee kinda rush...

Some moemnts nai you alone know what they mean to you!!

That loooove to live his details away!!!!!!

That one visual of the set and almost ditto psyyy lights of his dd space tones streaks of blue...!

Highlight!!

 And not to forget highlight of the day today...!

When after all these months it's onkytiday you notice these very same white flowers you have around the studio space that which he wore on his ear away years back in some pic of his.....

Again ever since those flowers too did become your most loved ones cause of the waaaaaaay he looked that adooooorable wearing over his ear away...

Rains his alt J and Fkj playing in the office you missing him away living away the rains with standard niloufer chai and this one side you notice these flowers flowing on the ground with the rain water...

And that lil scream inside areeeee these are miyaaaa wale white phool...

Another lil dose of happiness out of nowhere today...!

Miyaaa wale phool!!

Ultimate!!

 Some moemnts nai as lil as this but the ultimate level of joy it can simply bring is beyond logics I say!!

Just got back home from work at the table having rajgari pulao something akele and this sudden need to live him away and this fraction of a second stupid logic hits your mind like having dinner away with him.....

A lilst moments like this or at the set checking the paint work and coming back in car with mom live him again and see him at work on set ayyaaaaaaaaa this heart of yours that very moment...

One set to the other and again lands you back in the balcony with him this wish your heart makes to be in Bombay right now to shoot this very campaign right now in Bombay and post the location away I say!!!!!

Not sure if this is pulao high hitting you or this new hichki gin hitting you with the hichki of a missing rushing through you right now!!!!!!

What beaaaaaauties of him I say!!!!!!!

This heart every single time you live him away ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa singaaaaaaaaaa if he only knew charlie I swear!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moments!!

 To today with these discussions and how that one person in one corner of the cafe in the khaki jacket kept taking you to back to the lift moemnt of living your most beauuuuuuuuutoful visual of your life I say!!!!!

Like your eyes keep going to that one corner luckily the guy had the back facing towards our so all you could live that was the jacket and him on your mind…

It’s also what you read on one of your most loved pages on Instagram where do you go when you close your eyes and it’s always ALWAYS been Him… ever since you learned discovered experienced the art of living moments with eyes closed….

Be it through the day dreaming him away or as you sleep like it always goes to him…or mostky lately him coming to you…..

To that moment that first moment of opening your eyes and the very first yearning to live him on WhatsApp that beauuuuuuuuuty of him ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaa and it’s just growing the waaaaaaay it tingles your hand away it’s that beauuuutiful itch every morning charlie to just feeeeeel his daaaaaaaaadi his face his beauuuutoful details away with your hand first…

To this time of the almost evening at the studio office when the sunsets amaze you everyday and this one evening as it rains and cloudy it forms this gorgeous big C across the sky…

It’s like missing him in fractions to missing him at lengths away like today all day as you were watching that doc twice was like living him in the balcony talking and you realising inside ooooooo am in love with him all over again in that very moment…

To today realising that very feeeeel all over again I LOOOOOOVE him all over again !!!!!!

Then back to some more work and late dinner and you see your most looooooved halo over him on Instagram and that timing of your mom getting yo to get something from the kitchen and you fataaaaak se chori her phone away and ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa just like that maaaaaagic I say!!!!!!

Just what and how you were missing him away all day today madly there he puts some bts of a movie set thing at the studio…

Some moments I swear not sure if it’s the Youday magic all over again today too but it did happen…

Yet again!!!!!!

It just does something away nai living a moment of him and exactly same way as you missed him throug the day baaaadly maaaaaadly away!!!!!!

Process!!

 You’ve been researching the details of shooting a campaign having calls with multiple teams and one thing lead to another and you get in touch with these teams from Bombay that do the styling makeup and stuff and this photographer you have a call with to discuss the details…

And the way the photographer talks about how the teams in Hyderabad lack professionalism and are not as hard working as the teams from Bombay regardless of the field they belong to…like even the hair and makeup guys put in the effort that hyd lacks…

And this you’ve been seeing a lot and with every shoot somehow it’s like you are comprising on the effort with you focused on the shoot and the model and others on calls in between delaying the entire schedule away with lack of effort……it’s like you are the only one on the set putting in the effort and mind into the shoot…

This time the budget coudjnt have been stretched but decide from next time on its gong to be Bombay shoots…..

Like have the team call with hair makeup and stylist too and to discuss lighting and stuff and how you wanted the mood to be it just suddenly makes you realise how much of it you did managed to learn not just the design bit but the oreeentation the direction part too…

Then came in the decision on how to change and do something different with the present campaign you had in hand as the theme was Forest but can’t do an outdoor shoot due to the weather so came in the set thing…..you just didn’t want to go with the regular backdrop thing so start looking for set designers and this one art guy find who does paint backdrops too and that level of hapoeiness I swear……his words again karely to create something brings so mush happiness you have no idea every detail coming into place to watch something being created is different……

It’s this process charlie like his words his facial expressions that glow that charm on his face and howwwwweeeeee you looooved him all the more everytime you lived him talk about  films and film making…

Soooo yaaaaaa finally with the set decided new photographer trial finalised makeup finalised hair making the moodboard and details to just know how your brain works with these things……it’s this thing when you realise your brain does this too gives you a high hits differently!!

And there have been these dreams on the side it’s like a add on it’s like living him living the process away!! To know to realise even on the busiest hectic most days most nights planning working at the studio your mind all of you and every bit of you the waaaaaaaays they crave him… like not about taking the time out to miss him but like it’s like breathing like you breathe and the way same way there’s this missing with every breathe you inhale and exhale…missing him strongly even in the random most moments of finally seeing that bird taking shape after a zillion redos when the wings don’t come out right……cause in that moment you are living him away with eyes shut at the security check raising his gorgeous arms away and taking that stance of a almost flying human bird the MOSTTTTTTT gorgeous you’ve ever seen ever lived!!

Sundaazed!!

 It’s been a very VERY different experience so far working on this campaign as it’s been more detailed and more professional to think of it now…..

Has been a working Sunday with stylist photographer team set design yessssss for the first time designing a set with exactly what you had on mind for this campaign named Vanam in telgu……

A complete forest theme collection and ofc had to be with birds in it for obv him reasons known to you…

Even now working on the makeup look and hair and how the vibe needs to be like with music and stuff it’s been hectic but a lot more fun with the details……right in the middle of it the discussion one of the team members phone rings and it had the dear comrade ringtone that one feeeeeel that very second…

You couldn’t stop smiling so much so you had to get away for a bit and rush to the washroom…..

Earplug in play the track close your eyes and stay that way for a bit living him away his smiiiile that nod of his like there were these visuals of him that you were trippin away on for those few mins….

After come out and back to work like you needed him in that moment alone with you kinda vibe and then out to finish the meeting and on your way home like you couldn’t just get back and be as it’s been very very busy at work early mornings late nights and today you wanted to take slow…

Back home and this one find of doc about the making of a film and that feeeeeeeeeeeeel as you watch it through like him talking to you about the very same thing in that balcony of yours that evening…

It was beautiful the process of film making how it goes on with every lil detail of the complete process…….and you loved every bit of it that it almost made you want to be a part of that profession in some way!!!!!

Something’s nai just connect just click it’s that lil moment of shift in you that you feel that strongly connected to!!!!!

Like whowwww I wanna be a part of that creation kinda feel kinda excitement!!!!!

And years back to see that same excitement to live that same passion for the craft on him was also one of your most beautiful moments with him lived!!