HEART!!

 THE heart of your eyes I sayyyy!!!!!!

Whaaaaataaaaa daaaaaay it's been reaching home almost from what to what and then there was that one spark of magic HIM!!!!!!

This HEARTTTTTTT these eyessssss every single time you live anything him to live HIM!!!!!!

Ultimate level of HEARTNESS rushing all through you every vein of you!!!!!!!

Singaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that one adooooooooorably gorgous daaaaaaaadily beauty of dexterness and Johnny Bravo I say!!!!!!!!!

How only howwwwwweeeeeeeee onlyyyyy!!!!!!!!!

This!!!!!

 Some moments the timing and this inexplicable level of joy they give you evoke in you no sound nothing just the visual and the timing of the visual !!!!!!!

It's become that hour of your day after lomgessssssst of work days before campaign release when you are on your own on the table or couch his music playing nibbling on food away and your mind just content with the work and now in the himzone fully.......

Like it's for few mins to hours and then scheduling the work for next day......

It's when you that beauuuuutifulky and slowly transition into becoming the you from back then like just let yourself be fully soaking in away the him moments from the day reflecting back smiling away and missing him more away....

And his work visuals to his Bombay drive vibe it just hits differently and noting away the locations to try when in Bombay for the next campaign.....

It's just the process that pure almosr magic like trippy vibe of some moemnts or maybe it's just your mind supeeeeeer high on him like even now to waking upto him sometime back and seeing another visual of his almost same timing as when you were missing him away the most.......reliving his voice away from the Bombay drive...

Where to where I say!!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa how only howwwwwweeeeeeeee only you are being missed away if he only knew charlie every single time a missing strikes like this THIS!!!!!!!!!

Psyyyychedelic!!!!

 His mind this viiiiiibe!!!!!!!!

How you are actually loooooving his work stories it's absolute madness it's absolute happiness I say!!

The way strangely it brings back his on the way to bombay memory along him on the call all the way through telling he is crossed this he has crossed that and just bout reached Bombay and there's too much traffic for him to pass...and would take him another 1-2 hours to fully reach within the city limits...and then suddenly at some signal he starts to chuckle away that adooooooooorably saying I didn't even realise reached this early and it felt like you were with me all through the drive......

Baaju mein baithke was talking it felt like.....

It's that viiiiibe of sound with visuals to that moody vibe of the set with those psychedelic lights and brings back his dd space lighting setup that he had back then...

Stringgggggg of memories nai some visuals can bring along!!

All this when you are on calls deciding which model and discussing with mom the team of photographers and discussing angles of the models and zeroing down final ones and yuy get off taking mom's phone just cause you noticed the beloved halo over him......

It's that rush it's that need that level of urgency to live a moment of his away and now nowwwweeee kinda rush...

Some moemnts nai you alone know what they mean to you!!

That loooove to live his details away!!!!!!

That one visual of the set and almost ditto psyyy lights of his dd space tones streaks of blue...!

Highlight!!

 And not to forget highlight of the day today...!

When after all these months it's onkytiday you notice these very same white flowers you have around the studio space that which he wore on his ear away years back in some pic of his.....

Again ever since those flowers too did become your most loved ones cause of the waaaaaaay he looked that adooooorable wearing over his ear away...

Rains his alt J and Fkj playing in the office you missing him away living away the rains with standard niloufer chai and this one side you notice these flowers flowing on the ground with the rain water...

And that lil scream inside areeeee these are miyaaaa wale white phool...

Another lil dose of happiness out of nowhere today...!

Miyaaa wale phool!!

Ultimate!!

 Some moemnts nai as lil as this but the ultimate level of joy it can simply bring is beyond logics I say!!

Just got back home from work at the table having rajgari pulao something akele and this sudden need to live him away and this fraction of a second stupid logic hits your mind like having dinner away with him.....

A lilst moments like this or at the set checking the paint work and coming back in car with mom live him again and see him at work on set ayyaaaaaaaaa this heart of yours that very moment...

One set to the other and again lands you back in the balcony with him this wish your heart makes to be in Bombay right now to shoot this very campaign right now in Bombay and post the location away I say!!!!!

Not sure if this is pulao high hitting you or this new hichki gin hitting you with the hichki of a missing rushing through you right now!!!!!!

What beaaaaaauties of him I say!!!!!!!

This heart every single time you live him away ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa singaaaaaaaaaa if he only knew charlie I swear!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moments!!

 To today with these discussions and how that one person in one corner of the cafe in the khaki jacket kept taking you to back to the lift moemnt of living your most beauuuuuuuuutoful visual of your life I say!!!!!

Like your eyes keep going to that one corner luckily the guy had the back facing towards our so all you could live that was the jacket and him on your mind…

It’s also what you read on one of your most loved pages on Instagram where do you go when you close your eyes and it’s always ALWAYS been Him… ever since you learned discovered experienced the art of living moments with eyes closed….

Be it through the day dreaming him away or as you sleep like it always goes to him…or mostky lately him coming to you…..

To that moment that first moment of opening your eyes and the very first yearning to live him on WhatsApp that beauuuuuuuuuty of him ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaa and it’s just growing the waaaaaaay it tingles your hand away it’s that beauuuutiful itch every morning charlie to just feeeeeel his daaaaaaaaadi his face his beauuuutoful details away with your hand first…

To this time of the almost evening at the studio office when the sunsets amaze you everyday and this one evening as it rains and cloudy it forms this gorgeous big C across the sky…

It’s like missing him in fractions to missing him at lengths away like today all day as you were watching that doc twice was like living him in the balcony talking and you realising inside ooooooo am in love with him all over again in that very moment…

To today realising that very feeeeel all over again I LOOOOOOVE him all over again !!!!!!

Then back to some more work and late dinner and you see your most looooooved halo over him on Instagram and that timing of your mom getting yo to get something from the kitchen and you fataaaaak se chori her phone away and ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa just like that maaaaaagic I say!!!!!!

Just what and how you were missing him away all day today madly there he puts some bts of a movie set thing at the studio…

Some moments I swear not sure if it’s the Youday magic all over again today too but it did happen…

Yet again!!!!!!

It just does something away nai living a moment of him and exactly same way as you missed him throug the day baaaadly maaaaaadly away!!!!!!

Process!!

 You’ve been researching the details of shooting a campaign having calls with multiple teams and one thing lead to another and you get in touch with these teams from Bombay that do the styling makeup and stuff and this photographer you have a call with to discuss the details…

And the way the photographer talks about how the teams in Hyderabad lack professionalism and are not as hard working as the teams from Bombay regardless of the field they belong to…like even the hair and makeup guys put in the effort that hyd lacks…

And this you’ve been seeing a lot and with every shoot somehow it’s like you are comprising on the effort with you focused on the shoot and the model and others on calls in between delaying the entire schedule away with lack of effort……it’s like you are the only one on the set putting in the effort and mind into the shoot…

This time the budget coudjnt have been stretched but decide from next time on its gong to be Bombay shoots…..

Like have the team call with hair makeup and stylist too and to discuss lighting and stuff and how you wanted the mood to be it just suddenly makes you realise how much of it you did managed to learn not just the design bit but the oreeentation the direction part too…

Then came in the decision on how to change and do something different with the present campaign you had in hand as the theme was Forest but can’t do an outdoor shoot due to the weather so came in the set thing…..you just didn’t want to go with the regular backdrop thing so start looking for set designers and this one art guy find who does paint backdrops too and that level of hapoeiness I swear……his words again karely to create something brings so mush happiness you have no idea every detail coming into place to watch something being created is different……

It’s this process charlie like his words his facial expressions that glow that charm on his face and howwwwweeeeee you looooved him all the more everytime you lived him talk about  films and film making…

Soooo yaaaaaa finally with the set decided new photographer trial finalised makeup finalised hair making the moodboard and details to just know how your brain works with these things……it’s this thing when you realise your brain does this too gives you a high hits differently!!

And there have been these dreams on the side it’s like a add on it’s like living him living the process away!! To know to realise even on the busiest hectic most days most nights planning working at the studio your mind all of you and every bit of you the waaaaaaaays they crave him… like not about taking the time out to miss him but like it’s like breathing like you breathe and the way same way there’s this missing with every breathe you inhale and exhale…missing him strongly even in the random most moments of finally seeing that bird taking shape after a zillion redos when the wings don’t come out right……cause in that moment you are living him away with eyes shut at the security check raising his gorgeous arms away and taking that stance of a almost flying human bird the MOSTTTTTTT gorgeous you’ve ever seen ever lived!!

Sundaazed!!

 It’s been a very VERY different experience so far working on this campaign as it’s been more detailed and more professional to think of it now…..

Has been a working Sunday with stylist photographer team set design yessssss for the first time designing a set with exactly what you had on mind for this campaign named Vanam in telgu……

A complete forest theme collection and ofc had to be with birds in it for obv him reasons known to you…

Even now working on the makeup look and hair and how the vibe needs to be like with music and stuff it’s been hectic but a lot more fun with the details……right in the middle of it the discussion one of the team members phone rings and it had the dear comrade ringtone that one feeeeeel that very second…

You couldn’t stop smiling so much so you had to get away for a bit and rush to the washroom…..

Earplug in play the track close your eyes and stay that way for a bit living him away his smiiiile that nod of his like there were these visuals of him that you were trippin away on for those few mins….

After come out and back to work like you needed him in that moment alone with you kinda vibe and then out to finish the meeting and on your way home like you couldn’t just get back and be as it’s been very very busy at work early mornings late nights and today you wanted to take slow…

Back home and this one find of doc about the making of a film and that feeeeeeeeeeeeel as you watch it through like him talking to you about the very same thing in that balcony of yours that evening…

It was beautiful the process of film making how it goes on with every lil detail of the complete process…….and you loved every bit of it that it almost made you want to be a part of that profession in some way!!!!!

Something’s nai just connect just click it’s that lil moment of shift in you that you feel that strongly connected to!!!!!

Like whowwww I wanna be a part of that creation kinda feel kinda excitement!!!!!

And years back to see that same excitement to live that same passion for the craft on him was also one of your most beautiful moments with him lived!!