Moments!!!!!

 From realising it’s been love all that while from and with wake up Sid to finally getting a chance to get sources for a costume for Konkona Sen today!!!!!

It felt hit different the second you get that call that feeeeeel of him in an instance to actually speaking to Tamana over customising designs for her events with her stylist as she loved the Anarkali and tells you it’s nothing like she has ever worn before and also mentions bout you noticing her recent series of pictures which were inspired by your reel cover images the spilt image thing and she wanted that same for her…..

Like it made you content with your work and everything but happiness is a different thing altogether…it didn’t make your soul your heart smile skip that beat feel that party on the inside where every organ every lil drop of boood your veins gushing coming alive with absolute happiness nothing of it…

And the second the sound of his voice falls on your ears ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa it’s like him singing away a song for you literally that kinfaaaaaaaa sukoon happiness absolute pure peak level of happiness I say I swear charlie!!!!!!

It just alwaysssssss hits different right from the first time to today in that moment!!

To hear him to live that bit of his presence pure JOY!!!!!!

Ringoooo miyaaa you lil fellow how absolutely lucky I swear!!!!!!!

SingaaaaaaAaa yet again how onlyyyyyyy you were missed today too!!!!!!!

Slightest ideaaaa!!!!!!!! 

How only why only!!!!!!!!

Madness!!

 You’ve been posting waaaaay too often than you ever did strangely madly only to see the C in the views how ironically mad is this!!!!!!

But something’s nai are what they are you have no clue why it makes you feel the way it does and then it suddenly stops!!

Back to weirdness and working on last bit of interiors with custom mirror work in progress where you wanted it to be a lil temple style and more antique types and that’s again taking all of your head away…to going out in the evening with mom and she leaves her phone with you as she takes a small nap and that feeeeel cause you did see the most looooooooooved red halo over him after VERY VERYYYYYYYY long……

There were two stores but this one to just knowwwwwwwww he is here in Hyderabad and this one feeeeeeeeeel I swear can never grow used to!!!!!!

NCEEVR I SAY!!!!!!!

And to hear him ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa the day had some big iconic moments work wise today after very long but it’s moments like these and you realise all over again what where who is your ABSOLUTE REAL happyyyyness I say!!!!!

Anything anywhere anythung at all to do with Him…!

The sound of his voice even sounding with a lil bit cold or flu kind but that tone of his voice ayyyaaaaaaaaaa ringoooo how lucky I sayyyy!!!!!!!

The sound of his voice saying good boy imaging him pouting away asoooooooooorabky as he says it ayyyaaaaaaa meraaaaa poooooora ka pooooooooora heart I say!!!!!!!

Right there!!!!!!!! In that sound of him feeeeel of him!!!!!!

To live any detail of him absooooolute happiness I swear!!!!

Like the ultimate level of happiness!!!!!!!

Some moments !!!!!

 PUREEEEEEE HAPPPPPPYNESS!!!!!!!!!!!

Weird happy!!

 When his other account view on your story strangely puts this widest smile on your face......it's this feeeeeeling for years sharing things moments dreams with him...

And him seeing some moment of yours this something it fills you up with is beyond logics and words I say!!

It's weird for obvious reasons but still pits a smile on your face ...

What 2 what!!

 From last night feeling that much him away waaaay too much even with all the madness of suddenly finding a new zardozi master and crew cause most of them decide to attend some event back home amidst all the pending work and you clueless coming back home to these many moments of him...thewaaaaaaays he calms you away in the most gorgeous of waaaaays...

Like that MUCHHHHHH him you sleep with couldn't stop smiling happy him highd away to waking up to this one view and you only wait to see the wanderer name onkynow you know it's not even him... this new id lemon grass hopper with capital C and the only follow there is is that same painter one of his......and that's how you realise it's him!!!!!!

Even on his random I'd no space for you you see weird feel nai something's can come with.......

That feel that mood stayed with you like you wanted to save the last night you with that viiiiiiibe of him to this sudden weird vibe of today...

Donno what you are feeling either you wanted to say it out loud cause there was too much on the inside getting weirder...

What's this feel even!!!!!!!!!!!

The last night you happy highddddddddd on him waking up in between with TV still on his music still on and that very himhighddddd happy state of mind to this weird lost sound feeling of today!!

What's this feel even!!!!!!! ANDDDDDDD when the video doesnt upload either!!!!! Not your day not your night I guess...... Can't even say a thing like kiski shakal dekke uthe ki cause it's always him always been...

Moments!!

 Something's nai can disturb you in the weirdest of ways!!

It's that feeling between weird lost and weirder kinda vibe like you are unsure of what to feel even kinda mood...

And all it takes as always is one lilst thing bout or from him and it goes gooooooood sometimes and sometimes this lost like today since the waking up of that visual...

Visuals!!

 Working on some next designs as it's the day off romo and watching this very lame series going on beech mein and this one sound of place as you still wrt working on the design... Without seeing the screen jus the sound and that feeeel of him Estonia ...

His international shoot place some moments nai just like that and it still makes you wonder what that particular jazz track was with his two feet moving witybsocks on raining outside against the glass window panes...and this gorgeous jazz track playing!!

This absolute beauuuuuuuuuty of living him...!

Suddened!!!!

Out with mum for dinner waiting for food and this sudden rush of missing him like right right now to just see him right now right next to you on the chair to just see him smile right now nowwwww!!!!!

There are many times you miss him in the woerdest and wildest of ways and this one right now is a new one to the long list of waaaaaays you've missed him...

Like right right now now next to you and you see him on Instagram to fill this something up right now and howww you miss him storying here on IG!!

Something's nai beyond logics n control I say!!

Sunshine...!

 Howwwweeeeee it's that one face in the world for you almost all your life that instant tttttt sunshined into your head nowww!!!!!!

Checking some work text and pause and live that beauuuuuty of him with his very song playing this instanttttttt sunshined in your head I sayyy!!!!!!

Like howwwwwweeeeeeeeee no matter how many times you live that presence of his and still feels that new happppy heart viiibe kinda mood... Every single time this state of mind right now!!!!!!

Start of the day and this himhiiiiighd smiling away already...!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa howwwweeeeee only if onluyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!

Sounds n smells!!

 It’s funnily amazing how the scents change the priorities of the scents from perfumes to anything that reminds you of him is like feeling closer to him…

One such scent is the scent of cigarettes…

Yes calling it the scent ever since Him…!

Today waiting for your friend at the cafe like standing outside and checking some meme reel thing and this scent of somebody smoking a lil away and you slowly go closer to where you could smell the most and just stand there plug in the ears in this him music…….close your eyes and just vibe along with every puff!!!

Eyes closed and you were in his beauuutifully smoky Versova house of his…living that moemnt of his visual amidst the smoke the scent of the smoke filled room and your senses living and making every moemnt of that visual of him slowly emerging through the smoke your mind not sure to be more high on him or that smallest puff of his psy beedi…

Auyyaaaaaaaaaaaa everytime you relive that one visual even now as you write this very feeeeeeeeeeel of him right now!!!!!!!!!!!

His smile charloe you should see his smile when he smokes specially like one puff two puffs and that smile of his it just comeolwtwky transforms all of him away and that beauuuuuuuuuutifulky like you could initially spend hours just living that beauuuuty of him in that moment as he just sits there smiling away a lil high a lil slow like even the way he blinks moves a lil everything that beautifully slow…….

Like you don’t need a drink or a smoke and can still just get hiiiiiiigh living him away and howwwwweeeeeee!!!!!!

Some moments when you’ve lived that wholefully even reliving it now as you write and keep shutting your eyes recalling the moment him away from that moment this feeeeeeeel right now!!!!!!!!!!

Singaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!

Moments…!

 The new space has taken up too much of your mind space cause you are juggling between the next plan of campaigns to fresh designs to the store setup and it’s all new all at once…

And then there’s this same mind every day on the way to the store passing by his melting moments and on your way back out of there is like lilst moments of him throughout and it’s a very different feel lately….

Cause it’s that much of him recently where no matter where you see it’s like the city has only 2277 2727 7272 type of cars with local or MH ones too a lot lately to these random moments of a ford car passing by…this one too had that seat head issue like his other maroon ford car back then…and the way he used to call it the anti opera car cause he was that strict bout not using that car for the opera dates…….

This one time the waaaaaay he holds your hand throughout the drive and the waaaaaays he was feeling even just your arm away you look at him without saying a word and the waaaaaay he slows down keeps asking you to look at him again and that chuckle of his that adoooooooorably saying am telling you karely we can’t in this to opera agar gaye tho we won’t be able to come back home tonight cause iska koi bharosa nai hai and that sudden khushiiiiii in you just thinking of it and you get more excited and by your face the waaaaaaaaay he stops the car and starts to chuckle away that adooooorably I swear charlie those moments of letting him have his moment like that ayyaaaaaaaaaa that ultimate level of happiness I swear!!!!!

Like apart from that moemnt there’s nothing else in the world that could’ve made you more happier to see him live him like that with that sound of him laughing away that adoooorabky at your mind without you saying a word all that while to him…

Ever since then whenever he would come to see you in that car that only thought on your mind opera!!!!!!

Even that day seeing that car in the traffic and the sound of his chuckles ayyaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

It’s like there’s nothing in the day and then suddenly there’s a random lil thing bout him and the waaaaaaay it all becomes him and that beauuuuutifully!!!!!!

Plus what’s making it all that beautifully worse is the weather tooo feeeeeeel him live him with the rains is another mood altogether I say…

Moments!!!!

 How you’ve been feyiiiiing struggling to hold back your mind!!!!!!

Like nothing you feel otherwise nothing absolutely at all and there’s that slightest something of him and woooooof your mind goes bit by bit I say!!!!!!

Just second back you working on some final reels and jewellery edits with this artist playing and the waaaaaaay it’s like all him just like your ultimate fav two feet brings him along with every beat…

And you had this strand of hair over the neck and that feeeeeeeel of him jn an instance just like he used to hold you by your neck that same exaaaact feeeeelinf it wasn’t even for the gin but the him in you rushes through you and howwwweeeeee!!!!!!

This need to take the exact viiiibe of the feeeeel and save it away cause it happened very often this last week even days back when you wear some chudidar after 15 years with these extra long jumkis and as you try to look to the car beside for the distance in some turn and the waaaaaaay it touches your skin shoulder that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel of his hand over exact way exact ditto space……….the waaaaaaaaaaaaay he rushes through you in that very moment was SOMETHING else!!!!!!

Like it numbed you away in the most maaaaaddddest way possible the waaaaaaaaaaaaay it just made you come alive that strongly that you had to ask the drive to stop by a lil ahead and leave you in the car for a bit!!!!!

Cause you bas needed that moemnt on your own with him rushing through you!!!!!!

Cause that’s howwwwweeeeeee strongly you felt him in that very moment in that way after the longest time possible and that made you miss your morning workouts that bad!!!!!!

This very moment seconds back tooo same viiiibe that you again needed sometime off of everything else stop the music close your eyes feeeeel him to the mostest and then had to save that vibe of that very moment tonight!!

Youdays I SWEAR howwwweeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! Only!!!!!!!!!!

This mind this you right right right nowwww!!!!!!!

THISSSS ZONE!!!!!

 The second you land in this zone theees no going back I say!!!!

It’s like seconds back u still we’re working n this music this flashes of him moments through the day n here comes the drop like from one bear to that smooooooooth beat drop like that transition it’s almost like he held you by the neck that instant transition I saaaaaay!!!!!!!

This drop this zone you suddenly landed in unprepared for I sayyyy!!!!!!

Moments!!

 In traffic right now and this him playlist playing and it’s like lilst to recent most moments with him rushing through you!!!!!

It’s like it’s not just his music playing right now but the veriest lil to everything him rushing through you right now…

How can a random moment turn jnto something this THIS beautiful out of nowhere and all of a sudden like this!!!!!!

Singaaaaaaaaaaaa howwwweeeeeee only you are being missed away if he only had the lilst idea I swear!!!!!!!

This zoned!!!!!

 ANDDDDDDD few sips down gin gin after a daaaay of himzoned and you get more even himzoneddddd!!!!!

Any track to every track becomes him track now tho!!!!!!

Waysssssssss uve missed him daaaaaays uve missed him ginsssssss uve missed him with........

Vocal singing missing night thonite!!!!

Habits!!

 Editing night as you are waaaaaay behind on posts and reels cause of the store interior work taking up almost all of your time but some habits nai no matter how hard you try nai hota bas...

Any news bout Bombay first shakes you even much before understanding what's it bout!!

This one habit I swear of all the other habits like another wierrd one being how somehow the wanderer guy feels like him and him not seeing your story is like somehowwww as crazy as this sounds writing it out is like Him not seen your story...

How does it matter no clue what diff it makes still no clue lil heart I tell weirder ways of its own ....

Like another one being on Saturdays waiting for the red halo over him and howwwweeeeee!!!!!

Again no clue what or how or why, just does something away...!

How, still no clue!!

New addition to the store again one of those things one of those moments with him in your mind happened today too...

Missing!!!!!

 This deeeeep him diving away like there’s that need to add the himness in almost everything that you do just soo you can feel and live him more!!

Be it styling the store and you see this glass bangle stall and buy and wear it after years the first and only time being with him by him at yadhirigutta!!!!

Decade later to wear it see it in your wrist that feeeeeel of him to going to this antique pot store at the other end of the city and on the way his Škoda service centre…to heading to get the manequins to another location passing by ranigunj Sai baba temple and necklace road ofc it was like one moment of his to a zillion others and one after the other!!!!!!

Even as you start to write now this feeeeel this missing ever since then…!

It’s this this thing always be it back then or years after even now anything small or big the first and only person that need to share has always been him…be it the store corners things to share with him or your first ever Bollywood outfit sourcing for tamana with sidarth movie and of all the places in Bombay it had to be shipped to the stylist in Versova … like not sure what’s this even how this be possibly this accurate precise when it comes to all the himmagic that you breathe through your days and seconds of your day……

It’s getting beyond you like how do you even not miss him like this!!!!!!

This mind right now still from that moemnt moments back!!

Moments!!!!

 One single day and there are over a zillion moments that you may come across and then there is this tiny lil fragment of a moemnt like this one that sort of makes the other any other moment or thing seem non existential almost!!

To live him to live a moment of living him living his details like you just did seconds back even be it in a dream this feeeeeeeeel right now this very feeeeel right now rushing through you!!!!!!!

His eyes that beauuuuuuutifully sleepy his that one sleeeepy gorgeous smile to just be able to live a moment of him like this too!!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaa singaaaaaaaaaaa how only you are being missed away abhiiii k abhiiii!!!!

When you avoid writing him cause there’s that bad of a missing happening ever since that day like you can’t just can’t think anything at all beyond him and you know writing only fuels it more and then there’s this beauuuuuty of some moments to just be able to live him breathe him from this close even for a dream…

This very mind right now!!!!!!!

THE brain!!!!!

 Brain magic at absolute best!!

So much planning at work for the store and still manage to forget most important things on day to day level.......

The same brain exact visits a lane after more than 12 years and one turn in the lane and you know just right there to the left will be his Skoda service centre and then to find it right there that one rush of him through you in an instance ayyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!

This beauty of his places and to live him there close your eyes and the exact moments lived there rushes through you like hesgday was a big day all him day inspite of it being a work day still......

It's going to be a long night writing tonight I say!!

U wake up no dream but this heart and mind still smiling away to living him from yesterday's moments!!

That one just now line did ring too deep nai...

Still smiling away living him from yesterday!!

Vocal wordy!!

 When you know once you sit down to write it's going to be a looooongpain cause the thingzzzzzzz his places do away to your mind are just beyond words...any amount of words can't possibly define it out!!

Gvk and a zillion memories lived there where even in the second last scene this brown jacket Tommy wears is exactly ditto same as his one from thus one gorgeousssssssssss pic of his by the lake side...

Seeeeeee this is what writing does to you didn't wanna write feeling too much away so you instead be first time vocal bout it trying to get it out of you and do a audio thing and then even then writing it out here!!!!!

Strangely this new thing tried felt good speaking out even a line of missing him feeling him away this much just did something, that shift again!!

Kyaaaaaaa thoooooo bhiiii kaisaaaaaa tho bhi!!!!!!

Singaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!