Mooood!!!!

 Suchaaaaaaaaa moooooood this mind is in tonight!!!!!!

The whole vibe of his from this morning to the music now how it just stringed together you weee listening to other tracks to this one and now your mind is on a driveeeee with him by your side and you living the love LOOOOOOOOVE of your life away right now!!!!!!!

It’s this beauty of some days be it these words earlier that did bring him along and howwwweeeee to this new music find on his channel to this song now and you are back in 2009 right now!!!!!

The TIME of your life having found Him!!!!!

This one pic of his your most loooooooved ever like how you wish you could blow it up and frame it big size in his tagged post…..hands folded his daaaaaaaaadi your heart on his face his smiiiiiiile the waaaaaay everytime you zoom it up and see him as close as possible it always brings back the visual the moment from his back from Bangalore lift date with him…

The waaaaaay he was standing with his hands folded that way at your steps area and letting you live his details away with that one smiiiile away on him……just allowing you to fill up your missing you living his facial details away feeeeeeling every detail of his away and most importantly the loooooooove of your life your heart on his face his daaaaadi!!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaa how you looooooved feeeelijg it away with your hands and then your cheek and nose smelling his scent away as you feel along!!!!!

This morning too his daaaaaaadi this moment now this picture of his ayyyaaaaaaaaaaa THE LOOOOOVE of your life I say!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa how only howeeeeeeeeee only missed away if he only knew charlie I swear!!!!!

Slightest bhi!!!!!!!

Chippppyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy howeeeeeeee only!!!!!!!

Sound of magic!!

 Out on a drive and he out of nowhere plays this one track in Telugu and you change it back to lucky ali on his ipod saying you don’t understand and for that second realising ayyaa he is Telugu and you ask him to play it again…..him chuckling away plays it nodding away and then tells you smiling away driving looking at the road ahead you know actually in this the couple is on the drive and the girl looks at the actor the way you look at me on drives…..so I always wanted to hear this with you on the drive as it reminded me of it…

That one feeeeeeeeeeel to just live that moment of his mind it’s like almost feeeeelinf his mind away literally through his words and expression…

And how you looooooooooooved living him and his details away his facial expressions the way he lean over on the seat his shoulders his arms with one hand on the steering and the other close to your hands initially and then holding you after…

It’s like that one visual of love right there before your face that feeeeel of realising knowing everything you love was right there on his face…it’s that breathing talking moving smiling version of love right there…

To think of it now decade later thank god for that love of living him then as you write now shutting your eyes beech mein he is right there in his Škoda driving away with that one smile of his…that one nod of his seeing your madness for living him away!!!!!

The way he used to call it it’s like you are making up for the lost time all these years you missed out on seeing me…..

And that adooooorabke chuckle sound soon after saying it lol did you know then it wasn’t for the lost time earlier it was for what was coming later…

Youdazed!!!!!

 One electrifying Youday it’s been today!!!!!!

Be it the start of the day waking upto that rush of him ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa to live him that waaaaay the waaaaaaay it’s awakens toooo many versions of you hiding away on the inside in a woooosh!!!!!

It’s that one presence of him that makes you realise you are a woman!!!!!!

In wayssssssss more than one!!!!!!

To live breathe that way to live him move that way to live him smiiiileeeee away that way that literally used to melt your heart away in less than a second that one second you see him smile that one smile of his and goneeeeeeeee you were!!!!!

Ever since the first time seeing it, like that very moment to realise how someone just smiling in that corner looking up at you from that corner made you the happiest just the waaaaaay he looked smiling aaay all sweaty in between his set just looks at you from that weights corner as you were stretching on the other side of the gym…..just looks at you smiling away and the waaaaay it held you away in that very moment..no movement nothing just that feeeeeeel of his smile and all the way back home in auto smiling away akele recalling his smile away from the gym that day….

Today this morning too that rush of his that smile of his the way he was holding you closer not letting you move an inch away from him…….ayyyyaaaaaaaaa that ditto way of holding you by your neck closer to him!!!!!!

Something’s you write and this feeeeeeeeeeel then again to see his work post today of all days ayyaaaaaa his name again Chetan Singh on title !!!!!!

Something’s can make you happiest in explicable of ways!!!!!

Like work wise you’ve never been this stressed the way you’ve been post shoot…it’s been maddening and hectic and then there’s a morning like this you’ve been happily slow dancing away akele akele reimagining him in your arms for this morning to then see his work post with that most loved red halo over him….

To the music words of the track to now this need to listen to old tracks and this one accidental find ayyaaaaaaa some days nai pure magic…

Pure Him Magic…!

MusiK!!

 Some sounds take you back to that excat time you heard it the first time...

Most loved halo over him today and it was his work post Google hours trying to find where to watch it but nonuse the beauty of the post was the track from kaminey movie...

Howwwww he used to love mimicking it away that same accent and style of talking fa ka fa thing...

The BEST time of your life!!!!!!!!!!!

The HAPPIEST you've ever been in life!!!!!!!!!

Something's nai!!

Just like that out of nowhere...!

Youdays!!

 Last few days have been pure chaos with no driver and entire schedule change place change and more but there’s this one moment in life charlie like it all comes down to that one specific moment…

Who what where your absolute happiness is in lives in breathes in and to you it’s always been Him…

He could just be standing there breathing just moving walking smiling or even doing nothing at all absolutely and yet YET could make you the happiest you’ve ever been…

Just his presence doing things that nothing else in the world prolly could!!

A Youday like this one amidst everything happening lately that one halo after SOO long and to see him ayyyaaaaaaaa in white your ABSOLUTE HAPPINESS right there!!!!!!

Like ever since this mind this smile on you in between dealing everything away pure sheer level of bliss I say!!

Feels!

 Some feels nai can never grow used to.....

This moment here half asleep his niladri music playing as you turn and still in almost sleep this one visual of his face up-close like you are feeling his face away his skin his nose his forehead and your most beloooooved daaaaadi of his and that strong rush of missing as you realise you were just changing the sides left ti righr.....and that need to live him on WhatsApp get there and realise back to same...

That this very feeeeeeeeel of not being able to live him!!!!!

Moment!!

 This one moment and this sudden realisation your morning most loooooooved and looked forward to moment has just changed... Again!!

When you can't see him on WhatsApp anymore this one feeeeel right now after noticing this!!

This feeeeeeling na can never grow used to!

No matter how many times you've lived this for!

This weird feeeeeel insude right now..!

Every single time!!

 Some habits just grow stronger with you over time...

Every single time there's some news about Bombay even be it weather this one thing constantly this worry this weird feel if he is okay and safe...

Probably don't even exist anymore for him but this thought alone doesn't didn't change the fact of your life...

Weird nai it's been too much music too much feels for him kinda day today aaj......working on reels finding new music and missing him all the more with the weather new update back of your mind!!

Something's nai donno how why or what but is still there!!

Be it that moment too over a call with photographer explaining about how the over exposed edit you wanted to be changed and the way the photographer talks about the kit in Bombay and not carrying and the usual edit process with the sutta music and vibe to work on the best edit possible......and as the photographer is traveling couldn't work the best on these few edits......

And in your head you already knew about His edit process the way he used to back then it's like as the photographer was talking bout it you closing your eyes and living him in his space with the sound of his voice explaining you that very same thing with his music playing in the background!!

It's the waaaaaaaaaay lilst random moments bring Him along and howwwweeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

Now as you are working on some reel thus one new music find again and this state of Him it lands you in...

Again today!!

The sound of magic...!

 The sounds of him magic !!

Moments...!

 Some movies and this mooood they can leave you with...

Like just what your soul needed kinda vibe!!

Another one of those absolute Him movies...

To this very scene from the film and thus something it fills you up with right now!!

Be it this moment or that moemnt from the early morning shoot...

Model the second she sits on the chair to get her makeup ready and you were checking on the final checks with the set and jewellery, you standing out looking at her she gets her Marshall, out of her bag and the first track she plays come away with me... It's this lovefor music and then to know what goes in others head when it comes to music and she plays that track first of all songs....

Instant first conversation the way she asks you I think you love the track the way it put a smile on your face instantly, and chat away with her about music for quite a whiiile..... She immediately saves the number away with something to do with music thing and shows you and you don't even remember now......

Cut 2 another moment of him magic, set ready and just after her first change with the set right next to the makeup that beautifully lit like you were in awe of the mood lighting setup by the Bombay crew!

The him magic right there very very filmy model enters no sound you enter the second inside tum ho starts to play it was maaaagic like you loooooved that very moment..... as the makeup guy does the final touches somebody from the crew plays the track again like till then you were goosebumps shutting your eyes away and living thatahic of the moment...

It's when you felt him the strongest with you as crazy as it may sound you did...

The entire experience with Marathi conversation around Marathi lavni music Taal songs like the whole vibe like you are there in his Bombay that feeeeeel inside that rush inside of you......it was magical!!

Like the first proper campaign you can say and what an experience it was...

Professional to the core just like how it should be and the viiiiiibe of him max core possible!!

And tonight you just wanted to be cause it was that hectic too like you almost fainted yesterday constantly standing for all those 10 hours of the shoot checking back n forth so today had to be chill and this one movie that beautifully in-sync I say!!

Some moemnts nai!!!!!!!! This defffffff the most special shoot of all done till date soo far... The entire day like you are in Bombay in your head!! To after the wrap when the team catches up with byes and stuff the main crew chills for a bit and one of them offers the passing psychedelic beedi of his asking if you wouod want to the smell the smoke in the air thick visually and there he was again back in Versova with that same visual of the looooove of your life I say!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaa amidst the smoke and you just nod and say a no and back to packing away!! Something's nai!!!!!! Out of nowhere Him magic!!

Mood!!!!!

 There is this beauty in moments like these!!

Every single time when you find him in a moment like this too the waaaaaay it makes your heart feel is beyond logics!!

Working on last bits for the shoot tomo finally named as Pitta which is a small bird in telgu OFC had to be a bird!!!!!

Vanam theme goes all wrong and complete shitshow after the painter issue thing like what to whsaaaaat it turned out and then entire theme had to be changed and reworked on..

That's when baby steps of growing trying to add more depth to the campaign one suggestion to the other recommendation and you finally decided to go with a Bombay fotograoger instead....

Ever since then the planning on calls WhatsApp long meets it hasn't been easy but it's spoppoooooo good to plan a shoot like this too.....

It's been one beautiful learning process chaos but a beautiful one... Making of Pitta!! Another one for the loooooove for the blue bird of your life!!

To for the first time trying set designing too and suggesting the photographer otherwise as didn't sync well with the vibe of yours outfits and gives it a go.....

To this very moment planning on music final model mood poses selection to the videographer thing and this song of his starts to play out of the playlist and that insgat smile on you ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaa cause of the waaaaaays he just rushed through you!!!!!!!

His recent most tagged pic and howwwweee3ee you are in absolute loooooooooooooove with him all over again the waaaaaaay he looks that gorgeous in that tooooo him folding his arms away wearing that khaki jacket of his fullll grown beauuuuuuuuuty of his daaaaadi flexing his arms away cause the jacket uses to fit him too snug.....

It's that smiiiiiiile of his it's that beauuuuuuuuuty of his daaaaaaadi his pose that way him that way allllllll of him ayyyaaaaaaaaaaa this heart I swear !!!!!!!!!!

Him your ultimate gorgous calm and chaos all at once I say!!!!!!

Miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!

Howwwweeeeee onlyyyyy!!!!!!!

Sound...

 Amidst all the planning and confusion one post out of nowhere draws attention and that moment of sound of magic happens!!

The song to that post was His music...Nusratji longing!!

The sound the conversation the timeline he dedicates it twice to you...

It's beautiful how a sound takes you back to that exact very moment you heard it for the first time...

Somewhere around the month of June 24-26th some year post bup the very first conversation on Skype it was and he dedicates that track to you....

Years after him in Bombay when his house was setting up and some curtain rod guys come over to set it up he keeps you on hold on Skype and comes back and it's playing on your side of the window and he smiiiiiles that adooooorably saying you still listen to this and dedicates it you again and asks you kiddingly ittee der mein ittaa miss kari merko for the time he just got uo and checked the work and came back to you...

Something's you write some sentences that form as you write some sounds you listen and the waaaaaaay these camake you feel is beyond words and logics...

When the photographer and his stylist team have come down from Bombay and that weird thought on your mind to sniffher away just to smell the same air as Bombay as Him......

Weirdly crazily poetic thought tho!!

The things a heart madly in looooove comes up with nai!!

HEART!!

 THE heart of your eyes I sayyyy!!!!!!

Whaaaaataaaaa daaaaaay it's been reaching home almost from what to what and then there was that one spark of magic HIM!!!!!!

This HEARTTTTTTT these eyessssss every single time you live anything him to live HIM!!!!!!

Ultimate level of HEARTNESS rushing all through you every vein of you!!!!!!!

Singaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that one adooooooooorably gorgous daaaaaaaadily beauty of dexterness and Johnny Bravo I say!!!!!!!!!

How only howwwwwweeeeeeeee onlyyyyy!!!!!!!!!

This!!!!!

 Some moments the timing and this inexplicable level of joy they give you evoke in you no sound nothing just the visual and the timing of the visual !!!!!!!

It's become that hour of your day after lomgessssssst of work days before campaign release when you are on your own on the table or couch his music playing nibbling on food away and your mind just content with the work and now in the himzone fully.......

Like it's for few mins to hours and then scheduling the work for next day......

It's when you that beauuuuutifulky and slowly transition into becoming the you from back then like just let yourself be fully soaking in away the him moments from the day reflecting back smiling away and missing him more away....

And his work visuals to his Bombay drive vibe it just hits differently and noting away the locations to try when in Bombay for the next campaign.....

It's just the process that pure almosr magic like trippy vibe of some moemnts or maybe it's just your mind supeeeeeer high on him like even now to waking upto him sometime back and seeing another visual of his almost same timing as when you were missing him away the most.......reliving his voice away from the Bombay drive...

Where to where I say!!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa how only howwwwwweeeeeeeee only you are being missed away if he only knew charlie every single time a missing strikes like this THIS!!!!!!!!!

Psyyyychedelic!!!!

 His mind this viiiiiibe!!!!!!!!

How you are actually loooooving his work stories it's absolute madness it's absolute happiness I say!!

The way strangely it brings back his on the way to bombay memory along him on the call all the way through telling he is crossed this he has crossed that and just bout reached Bombay and there's too much traffic for him to pass...and would take him another 1-2 hours to fully reach within the city limits...and then suddenly at some signal he starts to chuckle away that adooooooooorably saying I didn't even realise reached this early and it felt like you were with me all through the drive......

Baaju mein baithke was talking it felt like.....

It's that viiiiibe of sound with visuals to that moody vibe of the set with those psychedelic lights and brings back his dd space lighting setup that he had back then...

Stringgggggg of memories nai some visuals can bring along!!

All this when you are on calls deciding which model and discussing with mom the team of photographers and discussing angles of the models and zeroing down final ones and yuy get off taking mom's phone just cause you noticed the beloved halo over him......

It's that rush it's that need that level of urgency to live a moment of his away and now nowwwweeee kinda rush...

Some moemnts nai you alone know what they mean to you!!

That loooove to live his details away!!!!!!

That one visual of the set and almost ditto psyyy lights of his dd space tones streaks of blue...!

Highlight!!

 And not to forget highlight of the day today...!

When after all these months it's onkytiday you notice these very same white flowers you have around the studio space that which he wore on his ear away years back in some pic of his.....

Again ever since those flowers too did become your most loved ones cause of the waaaaaaay he looked that adooooorable wearing over his ear away...

Rains his alt J and Fkj playing in the office you missing him away living away the rains with standard niloufer chai and this one side you notice these flowers flowing on the ground with the rain water...

And that lil scream inside areeeee these are miyaaaa wale white phool...

Another lil dose of happiness out of nowhere today...!

Miyaaa wale phool!!

Ultimate!!

 Some moemnts nai as lil as this but the ultimate level of joy it can simply bring is beyond logics I say!!

Just got back home from work at the table having rajgari pulao something akele and this sudden need to live him away and this fraction of a second stupid logic hits your mind like having dinner away with him.....

A lilst moments like this or at the set checking the paint work and coming back in car with mom live him again and see him at work on set ayyaaaaaaaaa this heart of yours that very moment...

One set to the other and again lands you back in the balcony with him this wish your heart makes to be in Bombay right now to shoot this very campaign right now in Bombay and post the location away I say!!!!!

Not sure if this is pulao high hitting you or this new hichki gin hitting you with the hichki of a missing rushing through you right now!!!!!!

What beaaaaaauties of him I say!!!!!!!

This heart every single time you live him away ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa singaaaaaaaaaa if he only knew charlie I swear!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moments!!

 To today with these discussions and how that one person in one corner of the cafe in the khaki jacket kept taking you to back to the lift moemnt of living your most beauuuuuuuuutoful visual of your life I say!!!!!

Like your eyes keep going to that one corner luckily the guy had the back facing towards our so all you could live that was the jacket and him on your mind…

It’s also what you read on one of your most loved pages on Instagram where do you go when you close your eyes and it’s always ALWAYS been Him… ever since you learned discovered experienced the art of living moments with eyes closed….

Be it through the day dreaming him away or as you sleep like it always goes to him…or mostky lately him coming to you…..

To that moment that first moment of opening your eyes and the very first yearning to live him on WhatsApp that beauuuuuuuuuty of him ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaa and it’s just growing the waaaaaaay it tingles your hand away it’s that beauuuutiful itch every morning charlie to just feeeeeel his daaaaaaaaadi his face his beauuuutoful details away with your hand first…

To this time of the almost evening at the studio office when the sunsets amaze you everyday and this one evening as it rains and cloudy it forms this gorgeous big C across the sky…

It’s like missing him in fractions to missing him at lengths away like today all day as you were watching that doc twice was like living him in the balcony talking and you realising inside ooooooo am in love with him all over again in that very moment…

To today realising that very feeeeel all over again I LOOOOOOVE him all over again !!!!!!

Then back to some more work and late dinner and you see your most looooooved halo over him on Instagram and that timing of your mom getting yo to get something from the kitchen and you fataaaaak se chori her phone away and ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa just like that maaaaaagic I say!!!!!!

Just what and how you were missing him away all day today madly there he puts some bts of a movie set thing at the studio…

Some moments I swear not sure if it’s the Youday magic all over again today too but it did happen…

Yet again!!!!!!

It just does something away nai living a moment of him and exactly same way as you missed him throug the day baaaadly maaaaaadly away!!!!!!

Process!!

 You’ve been researching the details of shooting a campaign having calls with multiple teams and one thing lead to another and you get in touch with these teams from Bombay that do the styling makeup and stuff and this photographer you have a call with to discuss the details…

And the way the photographer talks about how the teams in Hyderabad lack professionalism and are not as hard working as the teams from Bombay regardless of the field they belong to…like even the hair and makeup guys put in the effort that hyd lacks…

And this you’ve been seeing a lot and with every shoot somehow it’s like you are comprising on the effort with you focused on the shoot and the model and others on calls in between delaying the entire schedule away with lack of effort……it’s like you are the only one on the set putting in the effort and mind into the shoot…

This time the budget coudjnt have been stretched but decide from next time on its gong to be Bombay shoots…..

Like have the team call with hair makeup and stylist too and to discuss lighting and stuff and how you wanted the mood to be it just suddenly makes you realise how much of it you did managed to learn not just the design bit but the oreeentation the direction part too…

Then came in the decision on how to change and do something different with the present campaign you had in hand as the theme was Forest but can’t do an outdoor shoot due to the weather so came in the set thing…..you just didn’t want to go with the regular backdrop thing so start looking for set designers and this one art guy find who does paint backdrops too and that level of hapoeiness I swear……his words again karely to create something brings so mush happiness you have no idea every detail coming into place to watch something being created is different……

It’s this process charlie like his words his facial expressions that glow that charm on his face and howwwwweeeeee you looooved him all the more everytime you lived him talk about  films and film making…

Soooo yaaaaaa finally with the set decided new photographer trial finalised makeup finalised hair making the moodboard and details to just know how your brain works with these things……it’s this thing when you realise your brain does this too gives you a high hits differently!!

And there have been these dreams on the side it’s like a add on it’s like living him living the process away!! To know to realise even on the busiest hectic most days most nights planning working at the studio your mind all of you and every bit of you the waaaaaaaays they crave him… like not about taking the time out to miss him but like it’s like breathing like you breathe and the way same way there’s this missing with every breathe you inhale and exhale…missing him strongly even in the random most moments of finally seeing that bird taking shape after a zillion redos when the wings don’t come out right……cause in that moment you are living him away with eyes shut at the security check raising his gorgeous arms away and taking that stance of a almost flying human bird the MOSTTTTTTT gorgeous you’ve ever seen ever lived!!

Sundaazed!!

 It’s been a very VERY different experience so far working on this campaign as it’s been more detailed and more professional to think of it now…..

Has been a working Sunday with stylist photographer team set design yessssss for the first time designing a set with exactly what you had on mind for this campaign named Vanam in telgu……

A complete forest theme collection and ofc had to be with birds in it for obv him reasons known to you…

Even now working on the makeup look and hair and how the vibe needs to be like with music and stuff it’s been hectic but a lot more fun with the details……right in the middle of it the discussion one of the team members phone rings and it had the dear comrade ringtone that one feeeeeel that very second…

You couldn’t stop smiling so much so you had to get away for a bit and rush to the washroom…..

Earplug in play the track close your eyes and stay that way for a bit living him away his smiiiile that nod of his like there were these visuals of him that you were trippin away on for those few mins….

After come out and back to work like you needed him in that moment alone with you kinda vibe and then out to finish the meeting and on your way home like you couldn’t just get back and be as it’s been very very busy at work early mornings late nights and today you wanted to take slow…

Back home and this one find of doc about the making of a film and that feeeeeeeeeeeeel as you watch it through like him talking to you about the very same thing in that balcony of yours that evening…

It was beautiful the process of film making how it goes on with every lil detail of the complete process…….and you loved every bit of it that it almost made you want to be a part of that profession in some way!!!!!

Something’s nai just connect just click it’s that lil moment of shift in you that you feel that strongly connected to!!!!!

Like whowwww I wanna be a part of that creation kinda feel kinda excitement!!!!!

And years back to see that same excitement to live that same passion for the craft on him was also one of your most beautiful moments with him lived!!

Days!!

 Some dates on the calendar and thus very feeeeeeling!!!!!!

Guru Purnima back then 31st whow it's been 10 years today!!!!!!

Counting dates and years reliving memories away...!

Since you last saw him for real lived him for real breathed him for real touched kissed him for real!!!!!!

To having lived that feeeeeel of his presence in entirety for real or having felt the feeeeeeling called love for real...

From can't go a day without living you to this...

This one ironically funny sudden realisation as you are noting down dates and details from conversation of different production houses for the shoot and the second you write down 31st July that feeeeeeel of 2015 again to realising that's how long too been kissed touched felt like to think of it now that long!!!!! If you even remember how to!!!!!

Be it last nite as the date changes to this morning of waking upto him to the day throughout when you realise after calls fr Bombay that it's ten times cheaper to shoot in Bombay than in Hyderabad to the very words of location around your most LOOOOOOVED Versova to this very moment now as you write down the date....

What to what only nai!!!!!

Like always this one feeeeeeel lil did you know then in that moment of laying on the floor living his beauuuuuuuty away as he holds you up and off the floor closer to him that moemnt there!!!!!!

Till today!!!!!!

LILLLLLLLLL did you know then!!!!!!!!!!

Visuals!!!!

 It's been a packed schedule recently and there are these lil moments of pure joy and missing peaks level through the day start of the day by living that beauuuuuuuty of him away one big slurp every morning soon as you see him.....to these lilst moments ones through the day to today when it's been a working half Sunday to turning into a Youday yet again........

The heart of your eyes and life when you live the almost kid version of him all over again after years!!!!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa how much you adoooooooored that version of his!!!!!!!

This one Rakhi pic with his sister and that expression that face that one smile of his your absolute absolute heart I swear charlie!!

To the other memory rush him just having left for Bangalore in his sister's room crying missing him away already and you end up speaking out your missing away to her prolly for the first time... Like how much you loved him and stuff kinda talk so much so that you tell her how you wish you were another sister of his just so you could stay with him and live him for longer...

To that the way she adds being a sister wouldn't keep you forever with him the way being his love and something would instead...

And she hugs you and that's when for first time you tell her out out that you really loved him...

Some visuals nai it's the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay they leave you with this sudden shift sudden something rushing through you.......like you can't get over the waaaaaaaaaay he looks with that expression and smile on him...

It's one of those khaaaaa jaaanaaa kinda expression on him...!

How adooooooooorable I swear!!!!!!!!

To living him away like this after the longest time where back then it was an everyday thing...

Sometimes nai it feels like it was one big most beautifullest just dream you'd lived in your life...

Heart of your life!!!!!

 That one face that ONE human becoming the heart HEART of your life pooora ka poooooooora heart of you life!!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa your heart there on his face!!!!!!!!!

This very moment to live him away on a sundaay!!!!!!!!

This heart right right NOWWWWEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Waking up!!!!

 Waking upto this face of your life and heart Isweaaaaar!!!!!

When you feeeeeeel this beauuuuutoful hand itch to just feeeeeeel his face and daaaaadi awayyyyy!!!!!!

From a himcoming like that one this morning to a himcoming like this one and you just don't want to get off ajust stay like this and live this beauuuuuuuuuuuuty of him awayyyyy!!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaayyyyoooooooo this heart of yours right now!!!!!!

Singaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa how only you are being maaaaaaaaaaaadddddiiiiily missed away if you only knew!!!!!!!!!!

Visual story!!

 It’s also why you could t be a book person really cause there’s that beauty of living stories with visuals sound sand feels!!!!!!

Also why you loooooooove these lilst moemnt of him that you come across your day throughout the day somebody passing some place some number plate some board some sound some memory rush it’s this beauuuuuty of visuals……

To this movie day before and the waaaay it had these moments after the other that you felt that strong connection with like it was reliving him from back then white shirt stripe shirt Geetanjali though the story not much for it’s these lil things that felt like sitting and reliving him from back then……

To this moment the day at the traffic seeing just his daadi and lip in a random moment to this moment at work you still were busy listing out fabrics for the upcoming collection with pen and paper and this sudden strong need to live him that very moment and there he was agyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa……you the happuesssssst that very moemnt when the staff asks you kya hua madam ekdum se your face is glowing with that smile…..

And you just had to get away and you head out for a drive ofc with the driver with his music playing……

That stare of his the waaaaaaaaay it bright back the same moment from the lift same visual almost from the lift close your eyes relive that moment the way the lift slowly coming up where on the call he did mention bout tere liye surprise hai I want to see your reaction and the second the lift starts to come up that feeeeeeeeeeeeel like seconds back there was that rush before seeing him that restlessness that something unsettling and the second he starts to come up in the lift auyyaaaaaaaaaaaa the waaaaaaaaaaaaay there was this sudden state of almost flight mode like suddenly there was no rush no restlessness sudden calm sudden something shifting in you just him smiliiiiiiing awaaaaaay that smile of his touching his face away and that khauhiii in you as you scream ayyyaaaaaaaa Teri daaaadi!!!!!!

To him first coming out and coming close to you looking you in the eye and then holds you away and off the ground to your steps corner and that feeeeeeeel to just feeel his face his details his daaaaadi away where he actually lets you live his details awaaaay as you first just start to feel touch every detail of his his eyes his nose his forehead his lips his chin his daaaaadi to just going closer and sniffing his daaaadi away feeeelinf his daaadi away with your cheeks and face and the waaaaaay after letting you live him he holds your face away and tells you now my turn and something’s you write!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s this picture of his the waaaaaaaaaaay it did bring back your most loooooooooooooooved memory of his daaaadi beauty!!!!!!

To know that’s also something you could looooove this madly a feature a something bout loving someone was new and still geeeels the same the exact same……still this looooove this madness for his daaadi him with his daaadi looking that much more gorgeous!!!!!!!

Ayyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa the only face the ONLY human that brings out this side of you makes you come alive literally in every sence of the word…!

Pure madness!!!!!!

 THIS one night tonight it's when you again n again phirseeee realise wber who you reqk ABSOLUTELY happiness is I say!!!!!!

When just 1 beer gets you so hiiiiighheeeee cause you already beeeeflying highhhhhhhd on him I swyyyyy!!!!!

When he beeeee this delicioyslyyyyyyyyyy slurrrrrpyyyyy gorgeoyssssssi saaaaay!!!!!!

This neeeeeedto just feeeeeeel his daaaaadi awaaaaay him with that beauuuuuuuuuuutyeeeeee eof his daaaaadi his lipsssss his eyesssssssayyyyaaaaaaaaaa that one look of his his hqnfsssssssaaaytyaaaaaaa and you just can't stop looking at him denving swaying moving away right now with this viiiibeeeeeeof him!!!!!!!

Singaaaaaaaaaaaaaa looooooveeeeee you allplll over again I saaaaaaybe it that evening in the steps in 2009 seeing the dqqqaqadi for the first time or be it today when you missed him like that the mostttttest to see him like that ayyyaaaaaathid heqrttttt of yours!!!!!!!!!

This mind this him highddddddd happpppppeeeeeeyyyyy you!!!!!

Like you are lkterallllly flying right nowwwwwwweeee just with these beats looking him right now it's like he is right across the table some moments and this suddenyearbing away!!!!!!!!

Your hwaaaaaarrt poooora ka poooooora on his face right there!!!!!!

Luckyyyyyyy I swear to live that look live that momnt of his  his!!!!!!!

This day todqaaaaay saving away tgisssss highhhhhhhd saving awayyyyy this flight mode you are on this highhhhhh on him!!!!!!!!!

 

Howeeeee!!!!!

 How do you even describe this very state of mind right now!!!!!!

Twinning waaaaaay with happiness!!!!!

To see him with his gorgeousness of daaaaaaadi ayyyaaaaaaaaaa there's no other state of loooooove thanthis possibly ever!!!!!!!!

Where everything inside of you is dancing away and your face ultra level of blushing away I say!!!!!!!

Another longest day at work but the happiest you've been in the recent times cause he came running literally in all his glory and gorgeousnesssssssssssnest of his daaaaaaadi!!!!!!!

Ayyyyaaaaaaaaaaa thaaaaaaato onebeaiuuuuty of your life I swear!!!!!!

To I black and you in black too just walked home and this face can't hide won't hide!!!!!!!!!

Happpppppy andhoweeeeee also another one of your wishes to twin with him...!

Daaaadi!!!!

 Him in daaaaaaaadi my pooora ka pooooora heart charlie!!!!!

Ayyaaaaaaaaaaaa this state of mind and state of face ever since akele akele smiliiiiing away in traffic right now that you had to pull over the window blind thing ayyaaaa sing miyaaaaaaaaa suchaaaaaaaa beauuuuuuuty in daaaadi I say!!!!!!

I swear!!!!!!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

 This heart of yours right now ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa singaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa THIS THISSSSSSSS beauuuuuuuuuty!!!!!!!!!

This heart this mind right now !!!!!

This face right nowwwwwwweeee!!!!!!!!

Singaaaaaaaaaa how only you are being missed away abhiiiii k abhiiiiii!!!!!!!!

Moments!!!!!

 Soooo yaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!

It’s that very same evening that you live the beauuuuutyvof him in his daaadi the very first time falling drowning in loooove with him in bis daaadi…..to feeeel his daaadi to live the beauty of his lips surrounded by the daadi the way it just surrounded and right there in the middle was his pouty lips…..like you’ve lived him from up close a zillion times by now in the dreams but today you still donno if that car was for real if that was something you actually saw or was just day waking tripping away…

Cause the waaaaaay it felt like actually seeing just that bit of his face for real the daaaadi his very lips for really real today…

After the longest time!!!!!

To right there in that galli mins after watch somebody walking on the side of the street wearing a olive jacket and that feeeeeeeeeel as you ask the driver to slowdown and turn around to see if it was him and nope wasn’t…

Just that feeeeeeeel of back to back moments of him in a matter of few mins with your mind already that beauuuutifully high on him ever since the waking up…those moments that moment of his daadi for real was something else…

Even to think of it now as you relive and write now ayyyaaaaaaaaaa how you looooooooooooved it on him howwwweeeeeeeeee you liveddddd it away!!!!!!

Like from those moments to a hectic day at work it’s like your mind was in a different zone altogether like you kept blanking out at work too…inspite of the planning packing of the order to just make sure it’s completed today even with this schedule on your mind still in a diff zone I swear…

Like there were moments you were just sitting in the reception area of the studio playing carbon based and just reliving that evening away on loop…him coming back from Bangalore…

It was another one of those most magical evenings with him…!

It’s this feeeeeeee every single time like right now when you relive how truly blessed you were for having been loved by him and to have loved Him…

A him like Him who bhi after all!!!!!!!!

Singaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa howwwwwww only you are being missed away today tho!!!!!!

It’s nights like these state of mind like this when you miss him in ways like these do you this strongly feel if he ever does !!!!!!!!

Something’s nai shouldn’t let your mind go there only!!!!!

Nai!!!!!!!!

Moments!!!!!

 Like from that moemnt on the way these initial moments with him were rushing through you……like that one constant smile glued on your face…

To finally heading out for work and this one lane has become your most fav one to miss him away with cause the first time you explore that lane the very first thing to share it with him…

Yes it still happens any music any place any galli any food any shirt the first and only person that rushes through Him…

This one being road no 66 Jubilee Hills on your way to work this one lane in your head has become the him lane wishing to be there with him…..

Wishes I tell you they just wish away!!!!!!

Day dreaming away every single time there…

And this one turn just before the turn some car just speeds by and all you could see was the lips and the beard around and you don’t know what that moment was still no clue you immediately shut your eyes and that very moment of seeing him through the lift door in his olive jacket him with a full grown wild daaaaadi looking his gorgeousssssssssssss best self ever and smiiiiiiling that smile awayyyy!!!!!!

That one first visual of him back from Bangalore to see him that way standing in the lift as it comes up your heart then and there in loooooooooooove maaadly in looooooove all over again with him….

The way he comes out and just watches you lost in him and you couldn’t say a word initially nothing at all you were just living that beauuuuuty of him away even as you write now that one visual this THIS very clear of him…

Even now in this very moment!!!!!!!

Feeeels!!!!

It’s that one turn in sleep in charlie just that one turn one sniff and to just knowwwwwww he is here it’s that sudden transition through you to just knowwwwww he is right there beside you…

That one sound of him that one sound of him breathing that same sound you were that used to listening him just bout to fall asleep and the sound he is used to make to him breathing over the call as he falls asleep ayyyaaa to hear the same ditto sound this way and to then feeel him waking up as he moves around you……just touching just feeeeling away your presence your arms your face your details just feeling them away…..as you try n go closer the way he would still wanna just feeel your away details with that smile on him……This time white shirt and ayyyaaaaaaaaa that one beauuuuuty of him with lil daaaadi and that feeeeeel in your heart the second you see him like that move that way breathe that way making those sounds smile away that way that lil heart of yours…..instead wanting to just kiss hold eat his face away and you can’t just cause of the way he wants to live your details away….

Like you wake up with that THAT much him smiling away and to those calls checking with the doctor for the broken toe and the doctor says you need to check with a dermat first…

Every single time a skin specialist back then a dermat now the very first thing HIMMMM!!!!!!!!

Cause that also was your almost first line of conversation when he mentions about his sister and stuff and you ask him if he knew some skin doctor and he mentions bout the doctor in Karkhana and writes the number on a piece of paper with his email and contact number on it…just in case if you wanted to know the location and stuff!!

Then asks your number instead and starts typing something away on his phone with that adooooooorable smile on him knowing upto something and a text from him it was guess who this is bwaahahahaha kinda something…

It’s this moemnt you write now and this feel as you write now when you live a what was a random moment back then lil did you know nai how that moment will soon be changing your life away…

Changing you away for life nai!!

Some days!!

 There are some days and it's like just made for you kinda vibe right from the very start of the day and it was just perfectttttttt!!!!!!!

Cause it again felt like you literallyyyyyyy just saw him and all you could see was his adooooooooorable pouty lips with his daaaaaaaaaaadi ayyyaaaaa all around!!!

And it's been the longest working day ever as you had to finish a super urgent wedding order and you literally just walked in ghar and the first thing you had to see was your face...

Cause when he rushes through you like THIS it just shows all over your face and yes it did today too......

In the shabbiest oversizest but beautiful chocolate brown shirt your face is like a bulb today lit with the happy glow!!!!!

Him highhhhhhhd!!!!!!!!!

And howweeee!!!!!

Moments!!!!

 Moments like these even in a traffic jam ayyyaaaaaaaaaa this lil heart of yours singaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa how only you are being missed away this moment abhiiii k abhiiii!!!!!!

If he only knew ayyyaaaaaaaaaa this one moemnt!!!!!!!

Sound of him…!

 It’s been this lately with him talking to you in the dreams it’s like you wake up with that much of his voice in your head it’s been this routine lately….to check his ragged thing for that ringo reel of his with him talking…

To the sight of Lamborghinis becoming your favourite as his voice echoes through you gaddo mein nai chalti……

Something’s nai it’s like comfort to your soul like presence to the missing kinda vibe…

It jus does something away that fataaaak se brings back the smile on…

It’s like from that much him from the dream moments back to waking upto to no him and then finding him again kinda vibe…

That sound of his voice ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa apart from the many things you miss him for it’s this one too the sound of his voice…

The versions of his voice and howeeeeeeeeee you grew loving each one of them!!

Something’s you write now and relive the sound of his voice as you write been a lifetime nai!!!!!!!!!

Saying that this weird twisted feel but he just was talking to you this morning too!!!!!!

Kyaaaaaa thooooo bhi!!!!!!!!!!!!

It just feeeels that strong in your gut too like can’t be a dream he is there for real kinda vibe and yet and YETTTTTTTT!!!!!!

Nobody!!

 Every single time any slightest thing to do with his work and the waaaaaaaaaay it fills your heart all up with that much pride!!!!!!!!!

That feeeeeeeel of it has his hands on it to just living his work and for this time for once and first time liking it too cause it had way too many likes so yours wouldn’t get noticed……as the story the person narrating it the THE MUSIC his music on it that perfectly insync with the vibe of the story…to just for the love of glass or lak bangles also being for him…

To this very day today when you decide to take the day a lil slow and head out and notice shreyansh downstairs your neighbours kid standing alone with the ball in his hands and walk upto the kid asking what happened and the kid says kittu didn’t come down yet and that very feeeeeeeeel ayyyyaaaaaaaaaa kittuuuuuuuu……

Drop down your bag and join shreyansh for a lil football thing and after few mins you don’t notice the rock beneath this side of sand and one kick and you hit your toenail over it….bleeds half open and you sit there with that very first feeling and tell shreyansh nobody can replace kittu nai…that kid there nods away still worried wit your toe bleeding…

That one feeeeeeel I swear when the thought strikes you that very second too many versions of him rushing through you right then there……and usually you slightest of pain and you scream but in that very moment it was that one thought charlie ek chui bhi nai nikla mooh se just that one thought nobody can replace Kittu nai…!

Apart from the dreams lately that one thought today out of nowhere stayed with you and howwwweeeeeeee kittuuuu the kittuuuuuuuuu I swear!!!!!!!

No wonder!!

 When you just right now see some guru Purnima post on Instagram and realise yesterday was guru Purnima and this one strong realisation hits you it’s now been officially 10 years now!!!!!

No wonderrrrrr yesterday felt that weirdly weird all day…

10 years now having seen him for real or last seen him back then too it was guru Purnima in 2015 July 31st…

Until and unless it hits you you don’t really realise realise certain things nai…whowww!!!!

10 years since last seen him for real breathed him for real touched him for real kissed him breathed the same air as him for real watched him walk across the room closer to you for real……..

10 long years!!!!!!

Even writing it now over n over again feels waaaaay weirder than the realisation itself!!

No wonderrrrrrrrrrr yesterday felt the waaaaaay it did!!!!!!!

Him!!!!

 One place of him and you come back home with THAT much him!!!!!!!!

It's that sudden feeling yesterday he was right here he was THAT close...to now!!

One amazing movie but the day yesterday just how it became all him........ this mind then this mind now that him!!!!!!!!

It's that sudden realisation of the then and now that hits you out of nowhere and this state of mind you land in ever since...

He was right there charlie just there close to you!!!!!!!!

Mooooood!!!!!

 One lilst glimpse of him in his room of all places!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaa how baaaaaadly you longed to see his room again and after all these years ayyyaaaaaa that room of his…

It’s like you go rolling over decade back right there in his room karelllyyyyyy holding you by your waist screaming in that adoooooooorable tone of his voice showing this corner of the room that cockroach just flew it had wings now can’t see it anywhere…holding you tightly screaming moving you yaha waha trying to trace the cockroach and all you could feeel think live loooooooove adooooore was that version of him…

And you keep telling him it’s ok it’s not there anymore and him being him that beauuuuuutifully telling you all the possibilities of it coming back in the night to him like that adorably tells you it will find him in the night am telling you karely do something and all you could think of was everytime he said do something do something chummi eat his face up but his sister was just in the next room and his room door was open and him still screaming you couldn’t just couldn’t get your mind straight looking for the cockroach……

THAT many beauuuuuuuutifu versions of him lived in that very same room of his…

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this mind today and it’s a mid week drink away tonight……

At work you see that halo over him and ever since then you just couldn’t help but think of the moemnt entering home and living him away……like that urge to live him and you ofc couldn’t cause mom was home today and you needed her phone for that…..the second you come home take her phone in your room and that feeeeeeeeeeeeeel of living him a side glimpse of his in his room editing and ayyyaaaaaaaaaaa your complete heart HEART right there on him!!!!!!

It’s that feeeeeeeeeling every single time charlie one something to do with him and it’s like your heart right out there living him away even the other day at first n only attempt at pickleball and this one guy in corner white shoes and all you could get your mind to relive was him in his white shoes walking across the gym and you living adoooooring him away from distance…

How do you even put the belts on this lil mad heart of yours!!!!!!!

How do you even put sense to it!!!!!!

Right now mind toooooooooo happppppy him highdddddd and this Norah singing is like leaning over him watching him from upclose smiiiiiiuling that shy high smile of his looking through you like into your soul and across……and all you can feel right now is him breathing his nose that slight twitch as you come close his eyes blinking that adooooorably as he gets conscious knowing you are that lost in him staring away……

Some tracks nai ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this prettiest thing of your life all you ever loved loooooooooooooved!!!!!!!

Fuzzzzzy state of mind I say right now!!!!!!!!

He is that caramel custard vibe of your life I swear!!!!!!

This mind right in his room feeeeeelinf too many things away living toooooo many waaaaayyyyy too many versions of him away and this wish right now as the mind gets this beautifully slow and hiiiiigh super higjhhhhhh on him he better comes tonight too!!!!!!!

Black I say!!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa if you only if ONLYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

Like your face just changes just changes just like that one lil glimpse of him and it just changes!!!!!!!!

Always!!!!!!!!

Visual of loooove!!

 When even just the side profile fills you up with THIS much missing singaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!

HEARTTTTTTT of your life I say!!!!!!

Waking up!!

 Every single time he comes like this in black!!!!!!

This heart of yours ever since the waking up you just donno how to what to how only to I swear!!!!!!!

This mind that THAT him ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!

The MOSTASTEDLY gorgeous I sayyyy!!!!!!

This close and yet and YETTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!

Ultimate level of loooooooooooove kinda visual to the sound of him breathing...!

How only you are being missed away sing miyaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

If only had the sliiiiiiiightest idea bhi...

To be loved!!

 What level of love someone has to have to open an account today’s times just to follow her to live her details away…

Knowing him and his love level to just know to be loved by him like that!!!!!!!!

What bliss what luckiness I say!!

Some realisations nai it gets all different somehow…just when you realise it realise the fact of it!!

Aaj ka morning realisation just feels different, VERY!!

LOVE!!

 This forever looooove for his hands ayyyaaaaaa a zillion n more moments lived with that beauuuuuty of his hand...even on drives holding your hand as you lay on his lap also sometimes being your ultimate safest and the most loooooved seatbelt with sudden brakes holding your tighter!!

Some visuals nai bring along a zillion more memories and howwwwwweeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Today him petting that cat was all that and more...one lucky pussy I say!!!!!!!

It's that affection that fondness the waaaaays he just pets the cat away...this ever love for animals ayyyaaaaaaa that one big beauuuuutifulky gorgeous lil human I say!!!!!!!

This hugeeeee missing u come back home with right now after the longeat day of work...

Moments!!!!!

 From realising it’s been love all that while from and with wake up Sid to finally getting a chance to get sources for a costume for Konkona Sen today!!!!!

It felt hit different the second you get that call that feeeeeel of him in an instance to actually speaking to Tamana over customising designs for her events with her stylist as she loved the Anarkali and tells you it’s nothing like she has ever worn before and also mentions bout you noticing her recent series of pictures which were inspired by your reel cover images the spilt image thing and she wanted that same for her…..

Like it made you content with your work and everything but happiness is a different thing altogether…it didn’t make your soul your heart smile skip that beat feel that party on the inside where every organ every lil drop of boood your veins gushing coming alive with absolute happiness nothing of it…

And the second the sound of his voice falls on your ears ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa it’s like him singing away a song for you literally that kinfaaaaaaaa sukoon happiness absolute pure peak level of happiness I say I swear charlie!!!!!!

It just alwaysssssss hits different right from the first time to today in that moment!!

To hear him to live that bit of his presence pure JOY!!!!!!

Ringoooo miyaaa you lil fellow how absolutely lucky I swear!!!!!!!

SingaaaaaaAaa yet again how onlyyyyyyy you were missed today too!!!!!!!

Slightest ideaaaa!!!!!!!! 

How only why only!!!!!!!!

Madness!!

 You’ve been posting waaaaay too often than you ever did strangely madly only to see the C in the views how ironically mad is this!!!!!!

But something’s nai are what they are you have no clue why it makes you feel the way it does and then it suddenly stops!!

Back to weirdness and working on last bit of interiors with custom mirror work in progress where you wanted it to be a lil temple style and more antique types and that’s again taking all of your head away…to going out in the evening with mom and she leaves her phone with you as she takes a small nap and that feeeeel cause you did see the most looooooooooved red halo over him after VERY VERYYYYYYYY long……

There were two stores but this one to just knowwwwwwwww he is here in Hyderabad and this one feeeeeeeeeel I swear can never grow used to!!!!!!

NCEEVR I SAY!!!!!!!

And to hear him ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa the day had some big iconic moments work wise today after very long but it’s moments like these and you realise all over again what where who is your ABSOLUTE REAL happyyyyness I say!!!!!

Anything anywhere anythung at all to do with Him…!

The sound of his voice even sounding with a lil bit cold or flu kind but that tone of his voice ayyyaaaaaaaaaa ringoooo how lucky I sayyyy!!!!!!!

The sound of his voice saying good boy imaging him pouting away asoooooooooorabky as he says it ayyyaaaaaaa meraaaaa poooooora ka pooooooooora heart I say!!!!!!!

Right there!!!!!!!! In that sound of him feeeeel of him!!!!!!

To live any detail of him absooooolute happiness I swear!!!!

Like the ultimate level of happiness!!!!!!!

Some moments !!!!!

 PUREEEEEEE HAPPPPPPYNESS!!!!!!!!!!!

Weird happy!!

 When his other account view on your story strangely puts this widest smile on your face......it's this feeeeeeling for years sharing things moments dreams with him...

And him seeing some moment of yours this something it fills you up with is beyond logics and words I say!!

It's weird for obvious reasons but still pits a smile on your face ...

What 2 what!!

 From last night feeling that much him away waaaay too much even with all the madness of suddenly finding a new zardozi master and crew cause most of them decide to attend some event back home amidst all the pending work and you clueless coming back home to these many moments of him...thewaaaaaaays he calms you away in the most gorgeous of waaaaays...

Like that MUCHHHHHH him you sleep with couldn't stop smiling happy him highd away to waking up to this one view and you only wait to see the wanderer name onkynow you know it's not even him... this new id lemon grass hopper with capital C and the only follow there is is that same painter one of his......and that's how you realise it's him!!!!!!

Even on his random I'd no space for you you see weird feel nai something's can come with.......

That feel that mood stayed with you like you wanted to save the last night you with that viiiiiiibe of him to this sudden weird vibe of today...

Donno what you are feeling either you wanted to say it out loud cause there was too much on the inside getting weirder...

What's this feel even!!!!!!!!!!!

The last night you happy highddddddddd on him waking up in between with TV still on his music still on and that very himhighddddd happy state of mind to this weird lost sound feeling of today!!

What's this feel even!!!!!!! ANDDDDDDD when the video doesnt upload either!!!!! Not your day not your night I guess...... Can't even say a thing like kiski shakal dekke uthe ki cause it's always him always been...

Moments!!

 Something's nai can disturb you in the weirdest of ways!!

It's that feeling between weird lost and weirder kinda vibe like you are unsure of what to feel even kinda mood...

And all it takes as always is one lilst thing bout or from him and it goes gooooooood sometimes and sometimes this lost like today since the waking up of that visual...

Visuals!!

 Working on some next designs as it's the day off romo and watching this very lame series going on beech mein and this one sound of place as you still wrt working on the design... Without seeing the screen jus the sound and that feeeel of him Estonia ...

His international shoot place some moments nai just like that and it still makes you wonder what that particular jazz track was with his two feet moving witybsocks on raining outside against the glass window panes...and this gorgeous jazz track playing!!

This absolute beauuuuuuuuuty of living him...!

Suddened!!!!

Out with mum for dinner waiting for food and this sudden rush of missing him like right right now to just see him right now right next to you on the chair to just see him smile right now nowwwww!!!!!

There are many times you miss him in the woerdest and wildest of ways and this one right now is a new one to the long list of waaaaaays you've missed him...

Like right right now now next to you and you see him on Instagram to fill this something up right now and howww you miss him storying here on IG!!

Something's nai beyond logics n control I say!!

Sunshine...!

 Howwwweeeeee it's that one face in the world for you almost all your life that instant tttttt sunshined into your head nowww!!!!!!

Checking some work text and pause and live that beauuuuuty of him with his very song playing this instanttttttt sunshined in your head I sayyy!!!!!!

Like howwwwwweeeeeeeeee no matter how many times you live that presence of his and still feels that new happppy heart viiibe kinda mood... Every single time this state of mind right now!!!!!!

Start of the day and this himhiiiiighd smiling away already...!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa howwwweeeeee only if onluyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!

Sounds n smells!!

 It’s funnily amazing how the scents change the priorities of the scents from perfumes to anything that reminds you of him is like feeling closer to him…

One such scent is the scent of cigarettes…

Yes calling it the scent ever since Him…!

Today waiting for your friend at the cafe like standing outside and checking some meme reel thing and this scent of somebody smoking a lil away and you slowly go closer to where you could smell the most and just stand there plug in the ears in this him music…….close your eyes and just vibe along with every puff!!!

Eyes closed and you were in his beauuutifully smoky Versova house of his…living that moemnt of his visual amidst the smoke the scent of the smoke filled room and your senses living and making every moemnt of that visual of him slowly emerging through the smoke your mind not sure to be more high on him or that smallest puff of his psy beedi…

Auyyaaaaaaaaaaaa everytime you relive that one visual even now as you write this very feeeeeeeeeeel of him right now!!!!!!!!!!!

His smile charloe you should see his smile when he smokes specially like one puff two puffs and that smile of his it just comeolwtwky transforms all of him away and that beauuuuuuuuuutifulky like you could initially spend hours just living that beauuuuty of him in that moment as he just sits there smiling away a lil high a lil slow like even the way he blinks moves a lil everything that beautifully slow…….

Like you don’t need a drink or a smoke and can still just get hiiiiiiigh living him away and howwwwweeeeeee!!!!!!

Some moments when you’ve lived that wholefully even reliving it now as you write and keep shutting your eyes recalling the moment him away from that moment this feeeeeeeel right now!!!!!!!!!!

Singaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!

Moments…!

 The new space has taken up too much of your mind space cause you are juggling between the next plan of campaigns to fresh designs to the store setup and it’s all new all at once…

And then there’s this same mind every day on the way to the store passing by his melting moments and on your way back out of there is like lilst moments of him throughout and it’s a very different feel lately….

Cause it’s that much of him recently where no matter where you see it’s like the city has only 2277 2727 7272 type of cars with local or MH ones too a lot lately to these random moments of a ford car passing by…this one too had that seat head issue like his other maroon ford car back then…and the way he used to call it the anti opera car cause he was that strict bout not using that car for the opera dates…….

This one time the waaaaaay he holds your hand throughout the drive and the waaaaaays he was feeling even just your arm away you look at him without saying a word and the waaaaaay he slows down keeps asking you to look at him again and that chuckle of his that adoooooooorably saying am telling you karely we can’t in this to opera agar gaye tho we won’t be able to come back home tonight cause iska koi bharosa nai hai and that sudden khushiiiiii in you just thinking of it and you get more excited and by your face the waaaaaaaaay he stops the car and starts to chuckle away that adooooorably I swear charlie those moments of letting him have his moment like that ayyaaaaaaaaaa that ultimate level of happiness I swear!!!!!

Like apart from that moemnt there’s nothing else in the world that could’ve made you more happier to see him live him like that with that sound of him laughing away that adoooorabky at your mind without you saying a word all that while to him…

Ever since then whenever he would come to see you in that car that only thought on your mind opera!!!!!!

Even that day seeing that car in the traffic and the sound of his chuckles ayyaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

It’s like there’s nothing in the day and then suddenly there’s a random lil thing bout him and the waaaaaaay it all becomes him and that beauuuuutifully!!!!!!

Plus what’s making it all that beautifully worse is the weather tooo feeeeeeel him live him with the rains is another mood altogether I say…

Moments!!!!

 How you’ve been feyiiiiing struggling to hold back your mind!!!!!!

Like nothing you feel otherwise nothing absolutely at all and there’s that slightest something of him and woooooof your mind goes bit by bit I say!!!!!!

Just second back you working on some final reels and jewellery edits with this artist playing and the waaaaaaay it’s like all him just like your ultimate fav two feet brings him along with every beat…

And you had this strand of hair over the neck and that feeeeeeeel of him jn an instance just like he used to hold you by your neck that same exaaaact feeeeelinf it wasn’t even for the gin but the him in you rushes through you and howwwweeeeee!!!!!!

This need to take the exact viiiibe of the feeeeel and save it away cause it happened very often this last week even days back when you wear some chudidar after 15 years with these extra long jumkis and as you try to look to the car beside for the distance in some turn and the waaaaaaay it touches your skin shoulder that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel of his hand over exact way exact ditto space……….the waaaaaaaaaaaaay he rushes through you in that very moment was SOMETHING else!!!!!!

Like it numbed you away in the most maaaaaddddest way possible the waaaaaaaaaaaaay it just made you come alive that strongly that you had to ask the drive to stop by a lil ahead and leave you in the car for a bit!!!!!

Cause you bas needed that moemnt on your own with him rushing through you!!!!!!

Cause that’s howwwwweeeeeee strongly you felt him in that very moment in that way after the longest time possible and that made you miss your morning workouts that bad!!!!!!

This very moment seconds back tooo same viiiibe that you again needed sometime off of everything else stop the music close your eyes feeeeel him to the mostest and then had to save that vibe of that very moment tonight!!

Youdays I SWEAR howwwweeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! Only!!!!!!!!!!

This mind this you right right right nowwww!!!!!!!