Moments!!

 To another moemnt watching this idli beauty of a movie sometime back again and the waaaaaaaay dhanush in one scene waits for her to come back as her mom takes her away from him and just looks at the door knowing for sure she will come back for him that very moment very same expression having lived and loooooooved for real ayyyaaaaaaa!!!!!

Him right outside coffee back then Starbucks now at gvk as his sister takes you out to meet her friends suddenly when on a date with him……like just comes holds your hand tells him bhayya abhi leke ayi isko wapis kinda rushed moment and you with her that one feeeeeeeeeeeeel of his face the way he just looked at you in that moment when walking out and away from him and you make her an excuse of having left your phone and will come back to her….rush back to him just a lil away the way waaaaaaaay he was still standing at the door knowing for sure that sure you’ll come back to him and you literally run to him and hug him in public…….cause him his expression that beauuuuuuty of that moemnt of his love for you it was that strong pull that you felt that strongly rushing in you and you runnnn to him hold him away and the waaaaaaaay he holds you back…

Back to her with the biggest happiest smile possible !!!!!

To playing yesterday movie again and something’s nai just hit different on some nights!!

With THAT much him already rushing through you trying to move ringo and sitting there in his place to movies and moments like these!!!!!!

It’s a complete HIMHIIIIIIIGHD kinda night tonight…!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa howwwwwwwweeeeeeeee only you are being missed away aaaj bhi Even with no daaadi I say!!!!!!!!

If he onlyyyyyy knew!!!!!!!!! I swear charlie this night this mind how truly lucked out ringo is!!!!!!!!!!

Moments!!

 The other day this one moment when for the first time ever being in the cab actually made you smile happy on your way to the studio the driver actually takes the prashasan Nagar route instead and in that very turning actually does that thing to the stereo cover puling it out or something and that one feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel the second you see that……

Opera you were at fataaaaak se…

His usual thing soon as you land in your spot at opera he would do that thing to the music system in the car by putting the cover down and this one time finally right in the middle of him holding you that rush of a moment and you still holding him ask him why does he put the music system ka cover down and he actually was holding you in middle of something he moves back looks you in the eye still over you and starts to chuckle away that adoooooooooooorably…

He chummies your face away and then gets back in his seat and puts the music cover back on and shows the light on your face and to see him looking at you that way in that moment with that light over him that one visual just the waaaaaaay he looks that beauuuutiful in that moment his eyes his complete face and expression in that moment and he does it again playing some track and comes back to you…

Something’s you write and this one feeeeeeeeeeeel and you don’t wanna change that line you just wrote…

Even writing reliving that moment him in that moment or such moments his face the waaaaaaaaaaay he just would transform and look that much more gorgeous in that moment…

That day too the second you see that in the cab that very moment with him at opera and the many times that used to be the very first thing he would no matter how the rush lights out first just to make sure you were safe and away from the eyes of the world there…….

The mind!!!!!

 Do no matter what try how hardest possible and yet there’s always that one moment of him and the waaaaaaaaaays the thungsssssssss it does away to your mind I swear!!!!!!!

Ever since that one story of his Diwali with niladri music like the two music that you always hoped for him to post something anything with over the years have been niladri and fink…

And he does this Diwali with niladri the way that very moment actually was when it truly absolutely felt like the happiest Diwali possible!!!!! In years like that one string feeeeeeel of him with you strangely weirdly as crazy as this sounds it just felt like one…just almost like back then with him on the call to these lilst of moments ever since then through your day even with the chaos at work around like a zillion complaints with no driver still the world on one side and then there’s HIM!!!!!!

The heart and life of your eyes I swear and howwwwwwwwwwww baaaaaad you are this getting used to these red halo moments over him like every moment of the day to live a moment of him be it random ones be it his work ones making you super proud of him away always fan girlinf away with every work post to this very one today he posts …….

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaa and can’t tell you enough charlie how baaaaaaaad your heart all of you just wanted to move ringo away and get into that space of his hold him sniff him chummi eat him away the waaaaaaaaay he would curl up around you the exact same way closing his room door making you sit with him like that against his door……

It’s like fataaaaaaaaaaak se that very moment that very feeeeeeeeeel of him holding you that way with his legs curled over you and howwwww absolute madness as this sounds like you were smiling away imagining yourself in ringos place as mental as this sounds but I swear charlie the thingzzzzzzz a missing high mind could do to your mind is beyond logics or even sanity for that matter…

Like you were actually laughing away at your own mind only to actually picture yourself moving ringo away and placing yourself right there the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay his face looks in that auyyaaaaaaaaaa this heart right right now even reliving that one expression that one face of his in that moment ayyyyaaaaaaaaaaa JUST LOOOOOOOOOVE!!!!!

They say you can’t see love only feel it wrong I say him HIS face in that moment is what LOVE actually ditto looks like his face in that moment to you all over again after years LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE it’s been since then!!!!!

Yet again…!

Luckyyy!!!!!!

 How trulyyyyyy lucky is the Ringo I say!!!!!!

A mini heartbreak when you don't see the daaadi anymore and then there's the entirety of him ayyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that one wish to slightly move our Ringo and settle there gently this heart this mind this him this gin doing the things away to the imagination I sayyyyyy!!!!!!!

Singaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa tummmm aisaaaaaaaa waisaaaaaaaaa kaisaaaaaaaaaaaa kaisaaaaaaaaaaaa yaaaad aaaaaare miyaaaaaaaaaaaa jaaaaannnnnn!!!!!!!!!

Visuals!!

 Years back then same time around seeing him at his dd space months after he posts bout happy lucky happy rains something!!

To see similar visuals and the waaaaaay it takes you back in time cause then it felt like he was still in Hyderabad as he had stopped meeting saying he was leaving for Bombay and wanted to work on his script full focussed...

Some visuals don't just bring the moemnts along they give them vocals like you could almost hear him talk to you kinda vibe...

No matter how preoccupied your mind is with too many things and legals to deal with the space don't wanna talk bout it don't wanna let your mind go that side of the day it always comes down to this one missing for him........like the one constant one beauuuuuutiful constant amidst chaos!!

It's like your home your scared space you unwind to and with...

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this one misseeeeeing that one face I swear!!!!!!!!

Daaaaadi!!!!

 Andddd that looooove for his daaaaadi is something else only that amazes yiu everytime!!!!

Like there are mornings you just wake up living him away on WhatsApp and that strong urge need to just sniff away his daaaaadi like deep dive your nose in his daaaaadi like just that for starts...

Ever since the first time in lift him in daaaaaaadi and something that sexy bout him all the more...

How why what you donno but just that extra bit of gorgeousness all over him with that touch of daaadi...and this you noticed it's just him and his daaadi to all and every bit of you doing the things away!!!!!

Doesn't happen with any other sighting of a daadi human so it's not the daadi in general it's him and his daaadi ayyyaaaaaaaaa him in that olive him in this black this morning him in that black Goku your heart lil heart since the waking up the sound of him breathing is all you can hear right now even with his music playing!!!!!!!!!

Singaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa you daaaaaaadi of a beauuuuuty I swear!!!!!!!!!

If onlyyyyyy!!!!!!

Some waking ups!!

 There is a storm you are dealing with on your own and then there are moments like these be it the himcomings latelyball the more strongly or these moments of him actual moments of him!!!!!!

Your heart feels pinkest on the inside the veins fully coming alive it's like from lilst to everything in you coming alive this beautifully!!!!!!!

Loving him growing in love with him always has always felt like the first day of loooooove...it never was like ya ok it's always beeeen aaaayyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa HIM!!!!!!!!

Like the epic figure of your life I say!!!!!!

Post cold drowsiness court runs in the day and you fall asleep soon as you come home no dinner nothing and it felt like 2009 cause back then you used to sleep by 10-30 max and you only wake up sometime back and the first thing the loooooooved halo over him run to her phone check and just like that Dil se...

U couldn't have asked for a more loved up morning as a reality check after the him coming last night......the way he just chummies away every bit of you like he was comforting healing you away and you could feeeeeel everything in you calm and yet that rush for him as he breathes on your skin before every chumi like he used and you instead sniff him before chumming him.......

The very first thing soon as you wake up from a dream like that one cause when him in black it just never is a normal himcomings I say......eyes open that rush to see the second pic from his lecture ayyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa your heart every single time that one face that one hooooman that one lip ear hands shoulder chin forehead alll of him and that one day you how baaaaaaaadly wanted to join film school just for that one day.......

Imagine having him stand there and talk to hear him to live him to watch him move like you alone know what your heart felt like that day...

To today this very moment when you see he posts some story of watching this movie in theatre that very song that very film that you missed him with watching on your love day.........

In his room on his bed with his sister and him on a bean bag right next to you like you were on your tummy sleeping on the bed with his sister watching and him close to your feet just touching feeling it away and you just couldn't stay still that way...it's that thing on mind he is right there feeeeling that much away that touch of him it's the music of this film the rush of him like you could feeeeeel it in him... Like you that badly wanted to just turn to his side and hold him away chummi eatbhis face away and couldn't.......

This was i think that same night of psy beedi session at his place for the first time in life...

Like it was before the trying like good kids watching movie kinda thing to his idea of making you try his most fav thing other and he actually says it too hello fav meet my other fav...!

Something's nai wooooooooooooosh bolke toooo many waaaaaay toooooo many moments from that night this one film and the waaaaaaaaaaaaaays it did bring him along this morning even after the waking up...

Sing miyaaaaa my heart my life I say...!

Moments!!

 Downn with a temperature has been the most beautiful thing ever since him from fever dreams to himcomings like these right now when you galti se fall asleep and wake up with this feeeeeeeeeeeel of a gorgeous himcomings!!!!!!

HIM in that color ayyyaaaaaaaaaaa ever since seeing that you've been looking for that exact shade of color shirt to ordee for yourself...

To feeling this Him Highhhhhhd right now!!!!!!!!

Things!!

 The thingzzzzzz a misseeeing high mind could do to you is beyond logics I say!!!!

Like literally dreaming him away in colors white shirt burgundy shirt to your ultimate fav black shirt to this olive toned one…..

To dinallly seeing him in that very same color after yeaaaaaaars!!!!!

Back from Bangalore in the lift in the same almost olive green khaki tone jacket of his to this shirt of his and on your second most looooved date in the calendar 27tb October!!

It’s like rooooo many waaaay too many flashes and moments rushed together… the waaaaaaaay he looks that gorgeous daaaadi his hands his arms him with his straight profile him in his side profile HIM in any profile auyaaaaaaa your absolute poooora ka pooooora heart I say!!!!!!

The ultimate heart and soul of your heart I say!!!!!

Like you soooo baaaaaaaadly wanted to see him that very day and to eventually see him looking like one dish himself ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa eyes full hearted I swear!!!!!

Not mentioning the work or the driver or any other stress of today but the waaaaaaay that one moment of living him that one moment of that one face and that feeeeeeeeeeeel it laced away all of you with was beyond logics and words…I swear charlie the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaays anything him makes you this happy sometimes you only don’t understand…like it’s beyond your own senses only!!

Zillion crowd of people and that face and it’s all you want to see live loooooooooooove feeeeeeel touch taste lick and eat away only…….like the only face in the world the only human in the world that could possibly bring out a godzilluok feeeeels out of you is HIM!!!!!

The way watching those pictures on repeat was bringing back those flashes of maaaaadky falling in love with him again that evening back from Bangalore like seeing him living him feeeeling him that upclose in that color with that gorgeousness of his daaaaadi!!!!!! That charm that collar that you copy on most days too that vibe of him he is all moooooood all of him top to toe suchaaaaaa mooooood I say!!!!!!! Deliciously gorgeously killar mood I say!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa how only you are being missed tonight again I say if he only onlyyyyy knew!!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaa!!!!

 Back from Bangalore vibes this heart of yours right nowwwwwwwweeeeeeee!!!!!

Miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!

Misseeing!!

 Moemnts like these right now!!!!!

How much more can you possibly miss someone miss that one face his music playing right eyes almost sleepy for a second shut eye and that face of his from the 27tg morning as he comes to pick you up for the gym......

Ayyaaaaaaaaaaaaa that one smile of your life I say.........

The way he slowly nudges your elbow with his elbow smiiiilijg that smileeee away of his and says in that one adooooorable tone of his voice so whatsupppppp miss!!!!!

His face from that morning even as you write now!!!!!!

THIS clear!!!!!

U reallllly baaaadky wanted to go to sanghi temple today but another driver gives hand now looking for another changes your complete plan for the day today......

To that sudden need to go to Begumpet for some fabiec via cab and you pass by tibb Frankie the white House mall that you remember the name of now it's these places of him...

Back then tooo on this day when he asks you where do you want to go eat something special and you fataaak se mention Frankie that nodd of his and instead takes you to this restaurant that he describes as the late afternoon evening light falls beautifully across this restaurant and he had been wanting to take you there...

On your way back though eventually Frankie too does happen!!

U just didn't feel like writing roday waaaaaay too much missing today and this sudden plan of going there was like visiting these moments of him reliving him in those very places of him from back then...

Some days nai make you feeeeeel some.moments that much more intensely!!!!!!!!

Today was one such day...

All of today!!

 Literalllllly the only ONLY thing on your mind all of today amidst th sudden work changes was to keep checking him for the red most looooved halo over him...like min after min and also why you leave your phone with her and take hers instead!!

His guest lecture thing today at the studio and you waaaaaaaait for some SOME glimpse of him mainly it being today!!!!

And this feeeel now you come back home with!!!!!!

It's been a looooooong day of wait today...!

Moments!

 When your mom of all the movies asks you to look for dilse…

This movie at his place!!!!!

Some moments nai on some days hit differently!!

Days!!

 Some days some moments can nevrr grow used to!!

This very night years back then the sound of his voice on the call in that very moment realising how madly you were already in love with him, not realising all that while…

A meteor shower night with falling stars across the sky sun him on his terrace you in your balcony and just like that magic happened…

The ultimate magical night of your life…!

I still love you the same or maybe more Singh miyaa!!!!!!

This one realisation this one fact of your life only grows stronger with each year…

Moments!!

 Even through the meeting today work calls as it's a working day at the atelier and you still with one earplugged in his music living the day away...

And this one message from your manager a screenshot of something and you check to see Fayed started following your brand that one immediate feel......there are things you know for sure will make you core happy it was a big moment to attracting the right base for the brand but in that moment you just write back saying wow that's great but onn the inside your expression that still.....

And then there's anything to slightest of something to do with him there's this one wilddddd dance bollywood party on the inside of you...

And your face to the world  am not smiling but every single person you looking at knows wonders why you have a biggest smile on kinda vibe...

That sense of what truly absolutely makes your soul happy makes your soul dance away!!

Something's nai!!!!!!

Daaaays!!!!!

 This day on the calendar and of all the things when you had to attend some society meeting that goes on for hours morning morning worst thing possible!!!!!

Lil did you know back then that one movie that one drive will soon be changing the course and way of your life and your entirety too for life...

That one human who just walked into your life will change and transform you for life and howwwweeeee!!!!

His face from back then his expressions from the drive to sanghi him getting those gulmohar for you and it did become your ultimate fav flower for life I say...

Ever since then no matter where you are places traffic's any sighting of the gulmohars brings him along brings his facial adooooorable facial expressions along...

Said it before will say it over and over again and has become the ultimate reality of your life, if you truly love someone from the core of your soul love them soul soakingly every sec of your life cherish every moment spent every breath breathed in their presence every blink every smile every smirk live these moments even random most moments of them just strolling around talking to someone laughing at someone and not just you alone CAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW!!!!!!!

Him not being in your life was something you'd NEVER EVER IMAGINED yes there was that sense of strange uncomfortbess that day when y9ur familys dinner at his place strange weird fear in the stomach that sense of uneasyness it's only now you know.....that was your soul screaming at you in silence how it's soon going to change moment after moment from here on...

Never did for a second think wonder what' it's going to be like not seeing him for a week leave alone for over 10 years now not hearing the sound of his voice on the call on your face telling you I love you karely whatsupppp karely kya ghooorri karely!!!!

It hit you like a storm stranded in the middle of nowhere that lostness still there and you just keep your mind pre occupied trying not to venture into those layers of the mind...it's that feel of staying afloat being on the surface of missing him and not diving too deep...cause you knowww!!!!!

That one human of your life for life - One walking talking breathing form of all things looooove and magic...!

Sing miyaaaaa!!!!!!!

Today the missing is on another level only aaj tho!!!!!!

Moments!!

The night chai scene ranbirs boxers out of the jeans and that very visual brings his bum along and hiwwwwww!!!!

His adooooooooorable boxers ass always peeping out of his jeans most of the times…

Some moments nai just like that waaaaaay too many feels!!!!!!

This one movie am telling you ALLLLL HIM!!!!!!

Moooood!!

 Some nights like these watching ofc wake up Sid cause it's your THE day of loooooved falling this beautifully on a Youday of all days!!

Most LOOOOOVED red halo over him today to see he will be speaking at the studio on the 27th howwwww you had to hold your lil crazy jumping heart running wilddd!!!!!

If only you could just sit there watch him speak move breathe smile his face all of him in person it's almost abcrime in today's changing times...

But how do you even possibly explain "logics" to the crazy lil heart of yours when it comes to HIM...

This feeeeeel nowwww watching it tonight akele it's ALLLLL him!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaa howwwwww only you are being missed away I swear !!!!!!!

Too many!!

 When you see his sister after years this morning moon almost around 12 ish right beside your lane it’s that one flash and toooo many memories were lived on your way to work today…..like all through the day some really beautiful moments lived wit her and then him along with her!!!!

It’s been a tooooo much nostalgic of a day today even writing it now and you can’t get his beret visual out of ur mind that one beauuuuuty to the sound of his voice!!!!!

Some days nai out of nowhere!!

Proof!!

 The ultimate proof of how happpoy lost in the head you were with the day today when you only come back home to find you had one studio chappal in one feet and one actual sandal you went out with in the other!!

Luke you actually forget or mindlessly without checking knowing realising come back home wearing these like this!!

And still not complaining cause it's the proof this is how happpoy high lost you were in him today!!

Moments!!

 Come back home from a very long day at work that went on till 12am and it's this you that's been in too many places today one side of you at work most side of you living him away and feeling the happiest ever !!!!!!

Him with the beret looking gooooooorgeous like Ranbir from your most fav film one of your most tamasha to him that bwauuuutifully high!!!!!!

Like you could almost sensehis highness in the way he keeps repeating asshole and looks away and you aloneknow howwwwww bad you'd wanted to see him drunk and live that version of his too!!

Something's nai you just can't help it!!!!!

It's been double the celebration today like literally living him away through his moments the entire day almost today...it's been one of those days you missed real bad to just live him that thaaaaaaat level of khushi it loads you go with is beyond logics and words!!!!!

And all through the day today changing designs redesigning abfew adding few more elements was taking away too much of your mind to these moments of hiding away from the world to being closest to him cause every mkennt was bringing more of him along.......his stories of lucky being scared of the crackers from back then to him mentioning how Ringo wasn't it's that one sync from that to this kinda vibe the more you livedhim the more this one fire to the missing I saaaaay!!!!!!

To hear the sound of his voice, how it used to be your most loooooooooved to hear sound of his breath him breathing over the phone call and the waaaaaay it used to land you in that peace zone just before falling asleep it just used to fill you up with that sense of calmness that contentment to hear him sleep to want to be closer to him watch him as he sleeps side turns to see his eyes xloik sleepy from upcloser to touch to feel his face away......

Like mind running tooooo many flashes of him with every moment tbrough the day!!!!!

Just bout to sleep now and that same feeeeeeeeel of his voice right now when him saying asshole too has been making you smile and howwwweeeee like to love someone live someone like this him suchaaaaaaaaaaaa viiiiiibe I swear!!!!!!

Singaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa pooooora ka poooooooooora every inch of him heart of y9ur eyes I say!!!!!!!

Walking talking breathing version of LOOVE!!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaa!!!!!!!!

Heart of the eyes!!!!

 This one fellow heart of your eyes I swear!!!!!

Him with daaaaadi beret with a beret pure visual of loooooooooove!!!!!!!!

Singaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa you gorgeous lip big hoooman of a magic!!!!!

This one picture another of your favs of him that one smiiiiiiiiiiile of his brings out the bestest madness in you...

Oooooooo Sanam Mohabbat ki kasammmmm!!!!!!!

Kittuuuu!!!!

 Kutieeee kittuuuu Krishnamoorthya birthday today this viiiibe hits different this one celebratory mode your insides are on today!!!!!!

This smile on the face ever since the waking up from that THAAAAAAAAT much him from the himconing last night to the waking upto that one face of looooooove to this vibe now with his music playing and what better way to celebrate him than with his lucky ali!!!!!!!

Miyaaaaaaaaaaaaa how oblyyyyyyy you are being missed awaaaaay all the moreer today dekhaaaaaaaa hai auseeeeee bhi isiiii koooo aisaaaaaa waisaaaaaa kaisaaaa kaisaaaaaaaaa heeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

Hazaaaaaro mein hum bhiii mileeee!!!!!!!!!!

Vibe!!!!

 This viiiibe of him and just sniffed a beer not even a drink proper and this mind this you right now eyes too tired brain this beauuuutifully high on him…..like lazing on the couch these version flashers of him from back then his music playing now two feet this viiiibe this zone of him it lands you in…….

How even in the malls post movies he would go to the washroom and add this water to his hair and come out and you standing in some corner at some section of the store see him coming out with that one face looking for you yaha waha you living that moemnt the waaaay he looks that beautiful with that hair to that moment as he spots you as you were about to call him and straight up comes and first thing bolke jaane nai hotaaa terku and you just in ishaara give him a chummi and that instant face change looking yaha waha if he anybody spotted you doing that…..

It’s these expressions of his every lil detail of his like also to know what really pissed him cause that too was very evident on his face like that clear to know what just irritated him and it used to be extreme too like chalta types pissed he never used to be like very rarely something used to irritate him but when something does it sure does……

To the waaaaaaaaaaaaay he would park the car and come out walking towards you ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaa that one moment too every single time it’s like your heart every time in that moment again all over again kept falling for him I say!!!!!

And how you looooooved checking him out in those few mins like those few mins were your most looked forward to moments to watch him get out of the car and walk towards you…….

This mind doing things away I say miyaaaaaaa if you only kneeewwwwww hiwwwwww only you are being missed awaaaaaaaay the gorgeous gorgeous lil big adoooooooorabke birthday baby boy!!!!!!!!

Mind just feeeels very different right nowwweeee!!!!

Birthday!!

 Every single this ritual your heart does on his birthday thank his mom away the most possible like literally shut your eyes tight and thank aunty away for him!!!

It does happen with everybody that crosses your path in life it’s that one person that one soul that changes it all away etched away literally in you…..and that very date that did bring him on this planet forever grateful for life for this epic date 21st October!!!!!!

Like you get excited almost as the date comes closer counting away one more day to go it’s nothing and yet everything to you…..to actually cutting a cake every year on this very day celebrating that one magic of a human…

Him insisting back then to go out with him as you had a deadline post gym to be home at that specific time within that specific time and not be late couldn’t be late…so he comes up with the idea of bunking the gym time away and instead be with him……and you finally go you should’ve seen his face that day charlie that one widest smile on him playing his fink music loud sharing things away with you it’s also actually the very same day he takes you to his fav galli now your guessing 110 percent it’s prashasan Nagar lane….to melting moments him asking if you would like to have the same flavour as his fav one strawberry strip even as he utters the name his tone his mouth salivates that adoooooorably and that’s how you know it was his ultimate fav flavour……

Still holding the cup as it comes he looks at you smiles slow looking you in the eyes pauses that beauuuuutifully asks you would you like to have it the way I do it tastes 1000 times better this way and you nod and he squishes stirs the soul away of the ice cream and checks the textures and then gives it you without having had a single spoon of his ice team until now….

One spoon you try and by your expression the waaaaaay it makes him that happy it was also the first time you actually loved the raisin like dry fruit in it cause before that that was one thing nobody could make you eat absolutely not, but again it’s him you ofc had to love that too!!!!!

Like even now cooked raisin just doesn’t never goes in your mouth but back then what was it just like raisin but not raisin in that ice cream yaaaaaa black currant and it did become your fav too…..

It’s like one page after the other of his did beccome your most fav one……

It’s his face his expressions his that one smile everytime he smiled that way it used to take your poooora heart away I swear!!!!!

Like even at his Dd place that one time before leaving he just stands there and smiles that one smile particular smile of his and you just stand there with that feeeeeeeel ayyyaaaaa how do u even step away from him how do you go back him him smiling at you that way and the waaaaaay just by your face he realises what he just did to your mind in that moment and that one chuckle of his adooooorably kya hai reh tu it’s been years now and you still look at me like this like it’s the first time….and that nod follows after it’s like it touches your soul away charlie like you know holds you in a way it’s that pull it’s that pause like you can’t move thunk anything else but him and that smile of his……

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa thinking of it now miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

Something’s!!

 Trying to look for that picture and you realise you deleted it actually!!!!

Soooo yah it’s that strange lostness all these weeks almost to this you now it’s this one state of mind you’ve been on last few days like it’s your most looooved most lived time of the year cause you literally moon walk back through each day and back in time again……

It’s these beauuuutiful glimpses of him from back then the walks with him the sound of his chuckles and realising that feeeeel of fallling in loooove with someone’s smile someone’s sound of laughter to just their whole presence and the waaaaaaay it makes you feel on the inside…

Like it’s not this or tat about them that you loove but the entirety of them just their mere presence makes your heart feel things away that nothing else prolly did or could…

These beauuuutiful versions of him like his sound of voice this clear even as you write ye kya karri karely when he finds you living him away on drives that shy smile as he says that the tone of his voice as he says that that was his most said line back then…..then he would pull you closer  saying apan aisa baithenge so I can drive in peace and you could still live him from his lap too and the waaaaay he would that adoooooorably chuckle away looking down at you lost in him…cause the night before both of you on the cal till morning hours and he would ask you to get a quick shut eye as he drives…….but ayyyaaaaaaaa that loooooooove that joyyyyyyy living his details used to give you…….

It’s that feeeeeel it used to make your heart feeeo away ayyyaaaaa even as you write now close your eyes to relive him singaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa you gorgeous lil big adoooooooorable human I swear!!!!!!

Some moments nai woooosh bolke they just pop like right right now now him looking ahead at the road and your view from his lap ABSOLUTE BLISS ABSOLUTE LOOOOVE!!!!!!

Moments!!

 It’s been years now like bout 4-5 years thus one routine thing if posting your fav illustrator from back then where you had this one dp with the guy character and his dog that resembled lucky on WhatsApp and he would comment on it and stuff…..

But this year for obvious reasons you don’t post the illustration you had saved that looked just like him from that white tee and Jonny bravo hairstyle of his back then on WhatsApp with phone in his hand kinda picture in his WhatsApp dp and this one too exact same one almost but skip it this time for his birthday wish and instead post the stadium picture from days or week ago visit of yours…

That one place it’s like right from the very start to getting caught by the cops in the very same place to having that chai trip with him just before bup there next galli…

Some places nai have too many moments of yours like everytime there it’s like the place talks back to you reshares those very moments with you again……like it all feels like it was just yesterday standing right beside him no word nothing and too many feeels sharing away in that silence…

His expressions in moments like those ayyyaaaaaaaaaaa that THAT one face of LOVE he used to make I swear!!!!!

The insides of you are running high like you can feel it in the your heart is beating right now!!!!!

It just is the way it’s always been slightest of him engulfs away almost all of you in that one woooosh feeel!!!!!

Like you can literally feel yourself all covered laced up with all those vibes from that very place to the sound of his niladri tonight…

How do you hold your heart expect it to calm down tame down I say!!

One sound...!

 All it takes is that one sound from him Niladri from him it's the waaaaaaaaaay it sings away to your soul......

Like he almost just held your hand made you sway and then drops your hand just to let you move dance sway away to the moment to the viiibe feeeel of the sound...

Niladri to you alone know what it means to you!!!!!

It's like the sum of his love for you from back then every sound every beat rhythm the waaaaaaay it brings back that love of his for you kaise bolne how it makes you feel every single time you hear any sound of Niladri its like Him playing it to you not Niladri...

And all these years there was this wait one mkennt one story something of his that has Niladri music donno why but this one wait all these years 15 years after that wait to see him post a Diwali story of all days and stories with your priority track from back then of all tracks.......

It's that sudden jump sudden rush inside of you and you just didn't know how to have a straight face after there were stylists home one with her family too and few others like all through to have that straight face on didn't really work to the way she comments how there's this big smile on your face that you are trying your best to hide.....and it wasn't working for sure!

It's that one something from him and the way every vein in you dancing away I say like you literally couldn't feel the floor beneath THAT state of mindTHAAAAAT HIMHIGHD!!!!!!!

Him here to live a moment of his Deepavali ayyyaaaaaaa singaaaaaaaaaaaa how only you were missed!!!!!

To wearing this red tone after years and you managed a single picture with all the rush and Pooja but this level of khushi nai charlie like you got dressed with him on your mind to finally living him this way!!!!!!

Every single time anything him and the waaaaaays it transforms your face away.......like you glowwww like a bulb!!!!!

That touch of him even from a distance this something it does away and howwwww!!!!!!!

Birthdaaaay!!!!

 Your most loooooooooooved day on the calendar is here!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaas birthday ayyyaaaaaaaaa right now still with mom you keep a constant check on the clock waiiiring for it to strike 12 it's this very feeeeeeling you can never grow used and consider this one date like any other day on the calendar...

Singaaaaaaaaaaaa how only you are being missed awaaaaaay howwwweeeee!!

Lil did you know back then how this 21st October on calendar is soon going to be your most LOOOOOVED date in the calendar!!!!!

This waiiiiit now to just be by yourself so you can write your heart out...!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaa happppppiest birthday inside screaming heart out hope it travels through the sound channels to reach him ...

Sound of magic!!

 After yeaaaaaars Niladri by Him!!!!!

When nowwwwww it truly feels like a happaaaayyyyyyyy Diwali!!!!!!!!

This level of Khushi right nowwwwwweeeee!!!!!

Singaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa howwweeeeeee only you are being missed away miyaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

Sound of Him!!

 Every year this one festival brings him along the way nothing else prolly can!!!!

Every sound of firecrackers brings that ultimate firecracker of your life along!!

The sound of him on the call his adoooooorable chuckles with the firecracker sound in the background...evenings of fear almost all your life to ever since him it's an evening filled with all things HIM and all things looove!!

Waking upto to the sound of crackers again and the only sound now His voice him adooooooorably sharing away minutes of his festival evening with you you know this you know that kinda vibe!!

Some days nai!!!!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaa how only!!

The walk!!

 Weeeeeeeird the mind feels suddenly!!!

Then out of nowhere there's this some random walk post on one of if the pages you follow!

It immmmediately takes you to that first ever longest walk with him outside gym around his housegallis looking for aamla.....first unofficial date almost with him just walking around him indirectly complimenting your maroon chudidar away him looking his gorgeous most self under the direct sun...

To think of now simple moemnts living lil do you know think wonder or realise how those very simplest of moemnts yeaaaars later is soon going to be your one of your most lived loooooved relived again of moemnts in life...

Simple walk tooooooooo waaaay toooo many memories of Him!!

Just days Diwali back then it soon was going to change for life... everything inside outside and around you!!

With every step that day a lil more closer to Him...!

Last few days of planning organising shoots designs and every other chat with the photographer the mention of Bombay placws and spots that one feeeeeeel in your heart, to this one yesterday bout Kashmir and that one more feeeeeeel of him...

Post Kashmir at his place almost bup too and yet that looove of his for you to feed away the pooran poli his style!!!!

This mind right nowwwwwww!!!!!!!

Too many co incidences last few days se it just is there's something about this one month in every year, it all just turns out more magical even be it ironically too this time, it just does...

The sound of some places music moments numbers too 2727 foods and the waaaaaays they bring him along and howwwee!!

Moments!

 No matter how disturbed the mind gets it always come down to that very moment of living him first thing even much before you have fully opened your eyes in the morning......after a night of dreaming him away the waaaaaaay he comes specially when your mind is disturbed it's that somehow kind of assurance in the way he be's like telling you showing you as crazy as this sounds ii TS the waaaaaaay he came last night!!!!!!!

Him in black your forever most loooooooooooooooved awaaaaaited visual for life I say!!!!!!!

From that sound of him rush of him moves of him to seeing him living him the very first thing in the morning...

Moemnts like these!!!!!!!!!

Like you have been missing hearing seeing him on his Ringo page as it's not public anymore and the way seeing him hearing him there had become that one core part of your everyday to that sudden switch of not being able to do so you alone know what that meant to you.....

To the recent thing to him last night to him this morning that looooooooooooovedmadness for his daaaaaaadi I swear the way your hands literally coudknybstop feeling his daaaaadi away in the dream too and to wake up live him that one state of mind it leaves you with!!!!!

Like right now is beyond logics!!!!!!

Timing!!

Weird timing it also was cause you had been discussing the timeline for the 3 campaigns ahead 2 in Hyderabad as per budget and one in Bombay Jan Feb timeline as it needs to be planned in advance as per the planning for Pernia display......hence lately the work has been hectic with bulk production lineup and with each campaign planning yesterday's was the Bombay one as the dates had to be blocked in advance.....the photographer talks about Goregaon set and you mention how you surely wanted a teaser cover reel shot  at Versova beach first then the setup thing......it's like imagining a story almost finally happening FINALLYYY each stage planning and working...and this one weirdest thing you do amidst all!!!!!

Now talking about the Hyderabad set and Bombay set everytime the photographer talks about the multiple location options to select from the Bombay feeeeel this lil heart of yours right now!!!!!!

Something's I swear!!!!!

Some habits I swear!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kyaaaa tho bhi kyuuuuu tho bhi!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moood!

 Slow morning with walk for a change and letting the mind settle for a bit.....

Things you do, shouldn't have!!

Last night checking his grass hopper account to check the painter and this one post by her its the Eternal Sunshine painting and that one feeeeeeeeel it hits you with!!!!!!

Sudden numbing feel making it worse the words and too many dreams of your own too many moments rush through you!!

Something's nai in an instance it just makes you soo numb beyond words... 

Did everything possible it still feels the same!!!!!

This mind today weirdest it's ever been!!!

Moments!!

 When you miss him like THISSSSSS this one strange no logic feel always some story something by him!

It’s been gorgeous madness of a missing lately!!!!!!

How that one face did become all of this away to you and howwwweeeeeeee!!!!

One face in a Trillin lot of people!!!!!!!

Like no other…!

Singaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!

Days!!

 These very previous day's right before his birthday back then were like with every single day passing by it was like he was a step closer to you... And you closer to falling and then rising in looooooove with him!!

These very days of October...

Something's nai!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happiness!!

 U really don't need much in life to be truly soulfully happy... Just love, just love does it!!

And only love does it!!

After years you sleep straight up 12 hours in the longest time ever mom doing the usual Sunday oil champi and you him Trippin away as she does straight back to your terrace stairs oil champing his hair away late evening...

There's that beauty of some moemnts and to live him has been your ultimate one right from the very start of him in your life... Be it the complete day yesterday the Youest Youday itbcukd possibly have been! To waking up this morning to him that state of bliss pure level of happiness I swear beyond words and logics!! Can't definite write our that very feeeeeeel of waking upto Him!!!!!!

To last night sleeping with that much him rushing through you like you actually fall asleep on the couch itself with his music one him entry in your life changed it forever and howeeee!!!!!!

It's that state of your soul with that one person that feels like one transition that happens with nothing else like...

That one face that one daaaaaaadi that one human of your life...!

HIMHIGHD!!!!

 Some days you just donooo it's you your mind on gin or your mind on himhighhh!!!!

A mirror mkennt scene from the movie and it takes you back to his Versova apartment washroom moment with him him pulling you closer in the mirror to see himself with you in the mirror and the perfect Ishara he does!!!!!

To the many mirror moemntsvuj his room ayyyaaa done days i swear!!!!!!

Filoedbwityvtoo many moemnts today!!!!!

Moments!!

 One gin sniff down and the waaaaaays the bollywood in your comes out and howwwweeeee!!!!

Watching this movie with mom and thus one Senee where the acuor takes out his chashma to give the actress and again he comes along!!!!!!

Wearing his raybans on a drive when it gets too sunny and the waaaaaaay he puts it on you ayyyaaaaaaaa THE look in his eyes seeing something of his on you!!!!!!!

And everytime he did that made u9u feel the prettiest woman on the planet I say!!!!!!

THAT much looove!!!!!!!

Singaaaaaaaaaa howwwweeeee only you are missed away right now!!!!!!

Slightest of idea if he had I swear!!!!!!

Everytime!!

 Every time every single time you experience and live this state of mind slightest wave of him anything him and this you it fataaak se transforms you into with a lil him party inside your head that you are living away, this one line by him I have all your remote control with me right here all your controls right here with me…

And every damn beautiful time like this that one line by him rushes through you!!!!!

He surely does have all your controls with him!!

Slightest of him and THIS you ever since…

Something’s nai beyond logics n beauty!!

Magic!!

 Not sure what's happening but how suddenly your day keeps getting bettererrrr and howwweee!!!!

The Youday magic when you notice this new box something on the table only to find a box of butter caramel toffees!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaa so many memories thus one month I swear!!!!!!

When he takes you to qmart and buys you his fav chocolate the butter toffees! This is not the same brand tho but this him rush right now!!!!!!!!

Random walks with him in malls and stores on streets late in the evenings!!!!!!

Himhiiiiiiighd and howwww this Youday...!

Breathe!!!!

 THE one face the only human you ever breathed lived loooooooooved to see him live him like this the way every feature of his the mind traces back to the first time you ever lived him and as you lived his details to start loooooving those very details be it his walks to the drives to just live his every expression every detail to see his facial expressions changing with every track change and knowwww exactly how every sound makes him vibe differently!!!!

Times when you realise discover for the first time how a beauuuutiful human could be suchaaaaaaa moooood suchaaaaa viiiibe to get high on and howwwweeeee!!!!!

Literally day trippin on him away without any psy stuff I say all you needed was just him and the sound in the background!!!!

Himhighdddddd and howwweeeeee!!!!!!

When you are even making the coffee dancing away living him away every moment Youdays like these!!!!!!!

Miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

Owweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling missing!!!!!!!

Waking up!!

 Still in bed to wake up like this THIS feeeeeeeeeeeel right here right now ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa THE face of LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE I say!!!!!!!!

Your poooooooora ka poooooooooora HEART right here HIM!!!!!!!

Miyaaaaaaaaaa howwwwww owwwwwwwwweeeee howwwwwweeeeeeeeowwwwwwwwwwwwlingly only you are being missed away!!!!!!!

If he onlyyyyy knew!!!!!!!!!!

Moments!!!!!

 Through the day with some more work and then helping mom with regular cleaning for the THE Diwali this year that comes just a day before your day of LIGHTS actual mein which is his birthday!!!!!

And this one thing in the oldest bag and you find your bachpan ka most fav toy this elephant to this one cd of bhayya! When your mom shares it was bhayyas fav artist and it turns out to be Nusrat jis cd......

That one feeeeeeeeel every single time the sound of this artist first almost Skype call with him that was the second Skype call with him on the same day afternoon was first ever and then he again asks you to come online layer in the evening and then shares the first time longing Nusrat jis track and dedicates it to you!!

Ever since then any track by Nusrat ji brings him along from that Skype call!!

It was that experience to be able to see him live him loooooove him like that too like initial.reaction being aila it's like you are on TV almost and the waaaaaay he that adooooorably chuckles away at your mad comment!

Something's nai ayyyaaaaaaaaa this poor lil heart of yours right now!!!!!

Too many flying feeeeeeels I tell you!!!!!!

This feeeeeeling it's always been like this like it's the first time fallllling drowning in love with him...

Every single time like the first time!!

Him!!!!!

 Initial days of seeing him with that hairdo and that was a first to you like it used to look like he never brushed his hair through and yet was obsessed with touching his hair over n over again......

The way he would walkthrough those tiles reaching his phone on the table across you and you stopping whatever you are doing and that one pull to just live him walking reaching his phone checking something on his way back touching his hair and slowly giving you the side eye look and back at his weights thing......and how everytime he went back you actually used to hope for his phone to ring again for him to come again to check.......

And this one time after talking coffees with him on the gym stairs one time him talking something and leans over to the side to put the cup and still looking down slowly looks up at you and the way it just makes you almost reach out to movehis hair off the forehead and you realise what you wer just doing and hold it back and not do.....and he just looks away with that one smiiiiiiile on him the very next day he actually has his hair normal without that curve and spike of the hair like normal beauuuuuutiful messy hair and you were on the treadmill or something and he comes to your side says a hi and stays and that Khushi in you finallllly seeing his forehead his complete face that clear you were just happy and the waaaaaaay he shows in Ishara the smile on your face seeing him!!!!!!

That complete day you didn't know why or howwwweeeee just seeing him that way was making you that happpoy away even writing now that one feeeeeeeeeeeel to love a face that THAT much and to not even know it was love actually!!!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!

His almost similar anime hairdo to relive moments like these even years after to relive him like this in words years after this level of Khushi it's giving you away right now!!!!!

This HIMHIGHD!!!!!

 U just transform into something else slightestttttt of him bhi!!!!!

This zone right now!!!!!!!

This mind this face this whole of you right now!!!!!

This one month that did bring HIM in your life and how it's never been the same ever again...

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa howwwweeeeeeeeee only you are being missed awayabhiiiiii ke abiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!

Beit yesterday being his wearing something after years and then finding this random music and after much browsing by same artists you realise she is the same singer that had sung Iktara!

Rangi saari track just to add some music to the story work post and how there was something Him about the track that made you miss him all the more with the track didn't know what or how!!

It was only much later in the night checking through do you realise the music magic...

Decade back listening to the same artist post movie with him and realising that something for him then with the track to years later random find same month and that feel of something to only realise later it's the very same one...

That level of madness that level of Khushi for nothing to everything!!

Like your heart aloneknows what it meant to you!!

To this moment right now dancing away living him away now on WhatsApp to reliving him from back then.....

Initially with that anime hairdo of his again something which you only discovered few days back.....that that initial messy hair style he used to sport at the gym was actually a thing anime hairdo!!

Even wrijrnf now this one smile on your face reliving him from back then!!!!!!!

It's always been Him, the absolute HEART of your life...!

It's just fweeweeeeling very different suddenly today!!!!!like you are glowing suddenly like a bulb!!!!!!

This buzzzzzzzzzzzzz of him!!!!!!!

THIS JEART!!!!!

 This heart right right nowwww!!!!!!!

How do you even stay calm and actually act normal this this thing he does away with your heart and can never grow used to his face his daaaaaaadi!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaa thetbjngsit does away to your heart I swear!!!!!!

Like dancing away akele akele at this hour cause you are just happppppy him highdddddand howwwweeeeeee!!!!

Like youvebeen busy with too many work things lately and amidst all there's this level of loooooooooooove for October!!!!!

Him born month and it means everything to you cause it gave the world him and the very same month gave you him and his love!!!!!!

Every single day this viiiiiibe this flight mode you are on ever since the waking up the music in ears him on your mind no matter what you are doing where you are walking at there's this him zoned you are in on your own!!!!!

And just yesterday some music magic happens on a day when you wear a chudidar prolly after years cause it's one of those things you do in October live back in time...

Dress up like you used to back then heavy kohld eyes churidars his music becoming Him becoming His karely from back then.......

Donno why just does something to you away!!!!!!

Even as you write now this rush to live him zoooooming away his beauuuuuutiful slurp worthy details awaaaaaay this one fellowthe heart of your life and eyes I say!!!!!

Like you used to say he has a skinny heart shaped ass now it's his daaaaadi too like back then checking him out peeche se you used to comment your heart on his skinny ass cause you have a bigger one!!

And the waaaaaay today living him away on WhatsApp zooming his face away and that daaaaaaadi on him is where you heart at I say!!!!!!!

HEART!!!!!

 The heart HEART of your life!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaa seeing him on WhatsApp hits different on many different levels I say!!!!!!!

Specially when.you are almost one gin down almossssssg and seeee him ayyyaaaaaaa this faceeee how do you evening hide awaaaaaayyyyyy!!!!!!

Rangggggi daaaaadi gulaaaaaaabi reeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

Miyaaaaaaaaaa you gorgeous lip big afoooooorblr thing thing I swegaaaaar!!!!!!!

Howwwweeeee only you are being kossed awaaaay I say!!!!!!!

October...!

 The MOST beloved month of your life for life...

Such such beauuuuuutiful co incidences like he used to say Life is nothing but a series of Co incidences...

His birth month to your LOVE month for life!!

Singaaaaaaaaaaaa how only you are being missed away!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rangi saaaaaari miyaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!

Walking backwards!!

 That most LOVED time of the year again when everyday every single one of them every second of your every day you are only walking backwards and how!!!!!

No matter where you are what you maybe doing you find these lil windows of himzoning yourself out of the reality and back to your most loved time of your life…

Right back with him beside him living him away max most possible!!

To some moemnt in the traffic the other day the beautiful orange sunset with hints of powder blue and that one visual just holds you right back in bis car him talking something right beside your house in that very galli just living him away the sound d of his voice the sound of his chuckle and you are just there living him away……living the visual of your life away!!!!!!

In that moment it’s just him and you him with you just his sound your senses just living that one visual of him nothing around nothing beyond, just him…

And that one sound suddenly the car moves a lil shakily over some rock and you move look around and you were literally thrown back into the reality……and you realise here we are again it’s the October magic again!!

And this is just one moment of the many moments and it’s just stil the day 5 of October….

Way more to go how you still donno!!!!!

Random most sounds and moments bring him along the most simplest of moments with him rush through you apart from the big ones!!!!!

Even much before it was love it’s the knowing it’s the reknowing him kinda moments just living him from a distance him walking looking you from the other corner of the gym and that strong feel in your core that one strong pull always……

And as you look around sometimes find him right there beside your treadmill suddenly and you realise he was there as you were looking all around and the way he would look at u blankly and look around as to who were you looking for…..

Lil did you know then in that very moment here we are many many years decade later still looking for him in places sounds and moments…

To know him to be loved by him to just live that one human!!!!!!!

Also why his ringo account going private hurt the most how bad you did get used to living those videos of his versions of him over n over again……specially on your most stressful of days at work that was your ultimate hideout almost!!!!

To just live him the sound of his voice his adoooorabke chuckles away!!!!!!

Faces…

Your most loved red halo on a Youday to his actual picture post absolute LOVE!!!!!

 That one place that one face that one human for life…

Its the waaaaaaaay waaaaaays it makes your heart feel!!!!!

Like no other!!

That one face soon did become your ultimate place of love for life and howwwweeeee!!!!

The waaaay any proud moment of his work makes your heart swell with pride!!

This one magic of the youdays absolute LOVE!!!!!

From awards to living that beauuuuuuuty of him ayyyaaaaaaaaaaa how baaaad much have you adored that one FACE for years now!!!!!!

The waaaaaay just living him away even from the distance makes your heart the HAPPIEST EVER!!!!!

one journey it's been... 

Come soo far...!

Youdazed & HOWWWEE!!!!

 Waking ups like these ayyaaaaaaaaaaa that one fellow that entirety of him ultimate love and happiness of your life!!!!!!

The second his sister says tu bas samne reh uske ayyyaaaaaaa it likes sings to your literal soul literally!!!!!!

To live him that ultimate level of happiness and pure love!!!!!!

It’s these beauuuuuuuutifullu adooooooorable versions of him that you absolutely drowned in love with him!!!!!

The complete him not some part of him some side of him but the entirety of him and to witness this side auyyaaaaaaa how lucky absolutely lucky one truly needs to be to have him in life I swear!!!!!!!

Be it the yesterdays pastel blue shirt the waaaaaay he looks that handsomely gorgeous in it to this ayyyaaaaaaaa kid version of him how much more can you possibly love and miss someone…

Post shoot it hasn’t been easier for you initially it felt like a flop show after investing that much time effort and money on the shoot and in between this pehle wala photographer calls you to congratulate on the brilliant shoot and stuff and that one moment the guy talks about this model friend  you had worked back to back previously talking about how she felt she is the face of your brand and only with her will you be able to get that kind of success and dishti things to the guy….basically ill mouthing away and you in fact had approached her as the first choice for the shoot but she was down with viral and just a day before the shoot date she tells you she wants to join…..by then the entire team was locked!!

And then after all that to hear all those things which somehow did affect the business initially which was the most stressful 2-3 weeks of your work life…even on the call the photographer infact suggested you to post a bts content mentioning how good the team and process was to show you don’t regret the decision you made cause that’s exactly what she wanted and was anticipating……it’s that feeling charlie as when the guy was talking all this about her it’s that thing in your head how you’ve always ended up choosing or trusting wrong people like just that one decision in your life Him the most RIGHT thing you ever did in your life but apart from that it’s always been this wrong to trust easy…which you did feel from her too with her reaction on that call over the campaign release…

Even worse with no driver managing too many things working on immediate new designs thinking this didn’t work and then how now it has worked for the best…

Cause it‘a that thing na charlie when you finally find a good dedicated team everybody putting in their best work and effort where that Lakmé week model who has worked with the best of the best brands in the industry too had that strict policy of no absolute calls or even sitting down in between the shoot felt like a learning experience like all that while expecting the model and photographer to not be on 1-2 hours calls chatting away in between the shoot as you wait there for them to get back to work wasn’t too much to ask for…

To the photographer ultimate best being the best principal sorts on team as that took the entire stress off your head to the photographers head…..that one line no phone and no sound set first thing before the shoot started too felt like made the absolute right choice in team selection to even the makeup artist doing every bit of the effort look wise drape wise and for the first time it felt like a team effort and not just you putting in the effort and work all by yourself…

When you put in all that and it doesn’t or move with no reaction it disturbed you in ways more than one…

All through those stressful weeks there has been Him your forever place to find your calm and chill in……

In your own way moments amidst chaos just living him away throug that friend tagged picture of his which sadly is not there anymore for some reason to today after late night of work on new designs and a stupid series play to find this adoooorabke video with him being his absolute adoooooooorable best has always been your ultimate source of happiness I say!!!!!

It makes you happy like nothing else in the world probably could or will…

The sound of his chuckle his expressions his that one face ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa one slurp I swear!!!!!!!!!!!

Too much missing today !!!!!!!!

This mind right now this THIS himhighd also when you feel the most inspired strangely!!

Weird some weird connection that is…!

One face!!!!

 That THAT one face in the world for you!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaa that adooorable expression in powder blue shirt with that daaaaaaadi of your heart on him...... how much do you loooove possibly can love someone to live him then and now as watching invasion you fall asleep galti se and see him again that close to your face right now..

His sister's birthday post and it absolutely made your day away and howwwweeee!!!!!

To live him then or now this very moment sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!

How only why only howeeeeeee only!!!!!

Most loved red halo I say!!!!!

Mooood!!!!

 Suchaaaaaaaaa moooooood this mind is in tonight!!!!!!

The whole vibe of his from this morning to the music now how it just stringed together you weee listening to other tracks to this one and now your mind is on a driveeeee with him by your side and you living the love LOOOOOOOOVE of your life away right now!!!!!!!

It’s this beauty of some days be it these words earlier that did bring him along and howwwweeeee to this new music find on his channel to this song now and you are back in 2009 right now!!!!!

The TIME of your life having found Him!!!!!

This one pic of his your most loooooooved ever like how you wish you could blow it up and frame it big size in his tagged post…..hands folded his daaaaaaaaadi your heart on his face his smiiiiiiile the waaaaaay everytime you zoom it up and see him as close as possible it always brings back the visual the moment from his back from Bangalore lift date with him…

The waaaaaay he was standing with his hands folded that way at your steps area and letting you live his details away with that one smiiiile away on him……just allowing you to fill up your missing you living his facial details away feeeeeeling every detail of his away and most importantly the loooooooove of your life your heart on his face his daaaaadi!!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaa how you looooooved feeeelijg it away with your hands and then your cheek and nose smelling his scent away as you feel along!!!!!

This morning too his daaaaaaadi this moment now this picture of his ayyyaaaaaaaaaaa THE LOOOOOVE of your life I say!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa how only howeeeeeeeeee only missed away if he only knew charlie I swear!!!!!

Slightest bhi!!!!!!!

Chippppyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy howeeeeeeee only!!!!!!!

Sound of magic!!

 Out on a drive and he out of nowhere plays this one track in Telugu and you change it back to lucky ali on his ipod saying you don’t understand and for that second realising ayyaa he is Telugu and you ask him to play it again…..him chuckling away plays it nodding away and then tells you smiling away driving looking at the road ahead you know actually in this the couple is on the drive and the girl looks at the actor the way you look at me on drives…..so I always wanted to hear this with you on the drive as it reminded me of it…

That one feeeeeeeeeeel to just live that moment of his mind it’s like almost feeeeelinf his mind away literally through his words and expression…

And how you looooooooooooved living him and his details away his facial expressions the way he lean over on the seat his shoulders his arms with one hand on the steering and the other close to your hands initially and then holding you after…

It’s like that one visual of love right there before your face that feeeeel of realising knowing everything you love was right there on his face…it’s that breathing talking moving smiling version of love right there…

To think of it now decade later thank god for that love of living him then as you write now shutting your eyes beech mein he is right there in his Škoda driving away with that one smile of his…that one nod of his seeing your madness for living him away!!!!!

The way he used to call it it’s like you are making up for the lost time all these years you missed out on seeing me…..

And that adooooorabke chuckle sound soon after saying it lol did you know then it wasn’t for the lost time earlier it was for what was coming later…

Youdazed!!!!!

 One electrifying Youday it’s been today!!!!!!

Be it the start of the day waking upto that rush of him ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa to live him that waaaaay the waaaaaaay it’s awakens toooo many versions of you hiding away on the inside in a woooosh!!!!!

It’s that one presence of him that makes you realise you are a woman!!!!!!

In wayssssssss more than one!!!!!!

To live breathe that way to live him move that way to live him smiiiileeeee away that way that literally used to melt your heart away in less than a second that one second you see him smile that one smile of his and goneeeeeeeee you were!!!!!

Ever since the first time seeing it, like that very moment to realise how someone just smiling in that corner looking up at you from that corner made you the happiest just the waaaaaay he looked smiling aaay all sweaty in between his set just looks at you from that weights corner as you were stretching on the other side of the gym…..just looks at you smiling away and the waaaaay it held you away in that very moment..no movement nothing just that feeeeeeel of his smile and all the way back home in auto smiling away akele recalling his smile away from the gym that day….

Today this morning too that rush of his that smile of his the way he was holding you closer not letting you move an inch away from him…….ayyyyaaaaaaaaa that ditto way of holding you by your neck closer to him!!!!!!

Something’s you write and this feeeeeeeeeeel then again to see his work post today of all days ayyaaaaaa his name again Chetan Singh on title !!!!!!

Something’s can make you happiest in explicable of ways!!!!!

Like work wise you’ve never been this stressed the way you’ve been post shoot…it’s been maddening and hectic and then there’s a morning like this you’ve been happily slow dancing away akele akele reimagining him in your arms for this morning to then see his work post with that most loved red halo over him….

To the music words of the track to now this need to listen to old tracks and this one accidental find ayyaaaaaaa some days nai pure magic…

Pure Him Magic…!

MusiK!!

 Some sounds take you back to that excat time you heard it the first time...

Most loved halo over him today and it was his work post Google hours trying to find where to watch it but nonuse the beauty of the post was the track from kaminey movie...

Howwwww he used to love mimicking it away that same accent and style of talking fa ka fa thing...

The BEST time of your life!!!!!!!!!!!

The HAPPIEST you've ever been in life!!!!!!!!!

Something's nai!!

Just like that out of nowhere...!

Youdays!!

 Last few days have been pure chaos with no driver and entire schedule change place change and more but there’s this one moment in life charlie like it all comes down to that one specific moment…

Who what where your absolute happiness is in lives in breathes in and to you it’s always been Him…

He could just be standing there breathing just moving walking smiling or even doing nothing at all absolutely and yet YET could make you the happiest you’ve ever been…

Just his presence doing things that nothing else in the world prolly could!!

A Youday like this one amidst everything happening lately that one halo after SOO long and to see him ayyyaaaaaaaa in white your ABSOLUTE HAPPINESS right there!!!!!!

Like ever since this mind this smile on you in between dealing everything away pure sheer level of bliss I say!!

Feels!

 Some feels nai can never grow used to.....

This moment here half asleep his niladri music playing as you turn and still in almost sleep this one visual of his face up-close like you are feeling his face away his skin his nose his forehead and your most beloooooved daaaaadi of his and that strong rush of missing as you realise you were just changing the sides left ti righr.....and that need to live him on WhatsApp get there and realise back to same...

That this very feeeeeeeeel of not being able to live him!!!!!

Moment!!

 This one moment and this sudden realisation your morning most loooooooved and looked forward to moment has just changed... Again!!

When you can't see him on WhatsApp anymore this one feeeeel right now after noticing this!!

This feeeeeeling na can never grow used to!

No matter how many times you've lived this for!

This weird feeeeeel insude right now..!

Every single time!!

 Some habits just grow stronger with you over time...

Every single time there's some news about Bombay even be it weather this one thing constantly this worry this weird feel if he is okay and safe...

Probably don't even exist anymore for him but this thought alone doesn't didn't change the fact of your life...

Weird nai it's been too much music too much feels for him kinda day today aaj......working on reels finding new music and missing him all the more with the weather new update back of your mind!!

Something's nai donno how why or what but is still there!!

Be it that moment too over a call with photographer explaining about how the over exposed edit you wanted to be changed and the way the photographer talks about the kit in Bombay and not carrying and the usual edit process with the sutta music and vibe to work on the best edit possible......and as the photographer is traveling couldn't work the best on these few edits......

And in your head you already knew about His edit process the way he used to back then it's like as the photographer was talking bout it you closing your eyes and living him in his space with the sound of his voice explaining you that very same thing with his music playing in the background!!

It's the waaaaaaaaaay lilst random moments bring Him along and howwwweeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

Now as you are working on some reel thus one new music find again and this state of Him it lands you in...

Again today!!

The sound of magic...!

 The sounds of him magic !!

Moments...!

 Some movies and this mooood they can leave you with...

Like just what your soul needed kinda vibe!!

Another one of those absolute Him movies...

To this very scene from the film and thus something it fills you up with right now!!

Be it this moment or that moemnt from the early morning shoot...

Model the second she sits on the chair to get her makeup ready and you were checking on the final checks with the set and jewellery, you standing out looking at her she gets her Marshall, out of her bag and the first track she plays come away with me... It's this lovefor music and then to know what goes in others head when it comes to music and she plays that track first of all songs....

Instant first conversation the way she asks you I think you love the track the way it put a smile on your face instantly, and chat away with her about music for quite a whiiile..... She immediately saves the number away with something to do with music thing and shows you and you don't even remember now......

Cut 2 another moment of him magic, set ready and just after her first change with the set right next to the makeup that beautifully lit like you were in awe of the mood lighting setup by the Bombay crew!

The him magic right there very very filmy model enters no sound you enter the second inside tum ho starts to play it was maaaagic like you loooooved that very moment..... as the makeup guy does the final touches somebody from the crew plays the track again like till then you were goosebumps shutting your eyes away and living thatahic of the moment...

It's when you felt him the strongest with you as crazy as it may sound you did...

The entire experience with Marathi conversation around Marathi lavni music Taal songs like the whole vibe like you are there in his Bombay that feeeeeel inside that rush inside of you......it was magical!!

Like the first proper campaign you can say and what an experience it was...

Professional to the core just like how it should be and the viiiiiibe of him max core possible!!

And tonight you just wanted to be cause it was that hectic too like you almost fainted yesterday constantly standing for all those 10 hours of the shoot checking back n forth so today had to be chill and this one movie that beautifully in-sync I say!!

Some moemnts nai!!!!!!!! This defffffff the most special shoot of all done till date soo far... The entire day like you are in Bombay in your head!! To after the wrap when the team catches up with byes and stuff the main crew chills for a bit and one of them offers the passing psychedelic beedi of his asking if you wouod want to the smell the smoke in the air thick visually and there he was again back in Versova with that same visual of the looooove of your life I say!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaa amidst the smoke and you just nod and say a no and back to packing away!! Something's nai!!!!!! Out of nowhere Him magic!!