Lil moments of word magic like this...!
Telling youu it's in the Air of October...
Something bout it this magic like!!!!!!!!!!!
This mind not working right when it needs to work a hell load right now, the waaay it keeps slipping away into the Him Wonderland...!
That soooooo sounded like the will.smith movie title!!!!!!
Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this this lil HIM hiiiiighd heart of yours when rushed like this THIS!!!!!!!!
Everything in you is this charged like super charged be it writing him till morning hours then having to rush to work as the workers and painters will be there by 12 and here you are still Trippin on the way he looked like a full plate of caramel custard in that black shirt that you that baaaaaadly wish could slurp away in one lick in one bite I swear!!!!!!!!!!!!
First thing you see on Instagram this how apt very very spot!!!! That one face that ONE HIM !!!!!!!!!!!
Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa there's something bout him in that black shirt like he becomes this beauuuuuuuutkful forest like version of him and howwwwweeee!!!!!!!!
It's dreams like these and himcomings like this that makes your face difficult to function at work like how do you even where do you even hide these expressions this rush of him all over your face giggling away to anything happening at work cause you are soooooooooo him highddddd still like since waking up keep touching your neck again keep touching your lips n nose away!!!!!!
Ayyyaaaaaaaa what too doooo what not too doooo scoooby Dooby doo level of madness!!!!!!!
There's no absolute self control with a himcoming in that one shirt I swear be it in the dream or now since waking up!!!!!!!
Howwwwweeeeeeeeeee only!!!!!!!!
Kitttuuuuuuuuu kitttttuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu kitttttuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu youuuuuuu sexxyyyyyyyy sexyyyyyyy lil big gorgeosulyyyyyy adorable thing inswear!!!!!!!! Slightest only if any idea at all!!!!!!!!!
This one artist THIS ONE ARTIST is like the complete vibe of him the entirety of his vibe captured by this artist like regardless of which song it is good lyric bad lyric doesn’t matter it’s the viiiiiibe of the sound by this artist and it’s like listening to him living him with eyes shut and just listening to the sound…..
Two feet has become Him only now…
It’s the waaaaay it makes you come alive with everything Him!!!!!
Am telling you this one month driving you bad mad and howwweeeeee!!!!!!
Like ofcourse there are those times when you wish some moemnt that’ strongly to be real like waking up from some dream and the waaaaay he comes in that shirt living the moment away waking up in the morning wishing away for it for real like the post workout movements and wishing to live it for real with him like being in some place and wishing to be there with him for real some day like wanting to needing to love him a way like you never did never could before…..it’s these zillion things that rush through your mind wanting to live him that way wanting to live a moemnt that way wanting to sleep knowing he would still be there when you wake up too…
Not having to look for him soon as you are up and stil finding him there on your pillow still sleeping…..
Wanting to do that thing he had talked about wanting to be there at that place he had mentioned about like a zillion things wanting needing and yet there are moments and days like these like today like right now……
To still be able to feeeeel this living that one visual of him from the dream yesterday!!!!!!
A day back with her for some jewellery that she wanted to buy and wanted you to come along as you were closeby….
She does weird gf dy things man like asking you to share your dabba pic from work share songs with you share movie recomm with you and you actually tell her that day finally at the jewellery place that you are very much straight and been in love with somebody for over a decade now…..and she tells you that she knows you’ve told her pehle bhi but she just likes you as a person too much…..is what the reason was sooo yah her choosing some earring and you notice this one ring had to be a wave that looked again like a beautiful sparkly C the most looooooooved alphabet of your life I say…
And you call your mom and get it immediately…..
once home your mom pointing it out and you check the jewellery and realise it’s all C in your finger rings collection….
To that other random moment the day when brushing play this recomm YouTube playlist and the track supermassive black hole and that very second him rush I say!!!!!
Huge toothpastey smile on at his place just reached and you drop your bag and rushing to hug him and your phone rings that was your ringtone back then…..and he shakes up literally saying kyaaaaa ringtone hai bey ye and you go over to put it on silent and he asks you to take the call and you tell him you don’t do phones when with him remember and he smiles away asking you to answer again the phone rings again and you ignore again and he comes closer and the phone rings again and you tell him it was vishruta and he answers the call puts it on speaker and you couldn’t hold back the smile as he holds you and asks you to speak to her and you tell her you won’t be meeting her or something and the waaaaaay she immediately says shriya you sound different where are you….and you hang up and be immediatrlyyyyyyy chummi eats your face up that very moment!!!!
It was ofc obvious that you change the ringtone that very day and the next time Vishrutha call again and your phone rings and it was carbon based lifegorms track now and the waaaaay he chuckles exicedtly saying meri beautiful pause and then continues saying tu cbl sunti nice nice and that one smiiiiile adjusting on the bed closer to you…
It’s the random most moments charlie and the waaaaaaay they bring him along it’s this feeeeeeeeeel like no other to just be able to feeeeeel him live him like this it somehow completes you and whatever missing comes close to when asleep to still be able to live him in ways like theseeee the way you do has become the core of your existence now….
Like black your most fav color now MOST fav one I say!!!!!
Even before seeing him his face him walking through the door like that one visual you can never get enough of reliving I swear!!!!!
Like that itself held you right there that feeeeel inside to just be there and live him live his walk towards you or that mirror stare with him for the first time…..himmtying his shoe lace and looks up and at you throug the mirror and just stays that way…..no smile nothing just a straight beauuuuuuutiful stare and the waaaaaaaay it felt like being held by him from a distance……..
Even much after and before knowing it’s love that day he was high that which he shared with you much after…..all night his friend then oknfor the first time now you don’t remember that friends name of his……he talks him through about taking the first step instead of waiting as he still had time….because he did tell him then about you getting married and stuff and still he was in love with you…
So the friend gets him high he had been up all night and yet comes to the gym to see you…..and the waaaay he comes straight up toooo close to you and asks you out for the first time that was out as in under the gym coffee place…even that day that beauuuuuty of living him like almost that magnetic feeeeeel charlie being drawn to him…effortlessly without thinking without having to rethink like it was that beauuuuutoful like you had known him before kinda strong vibe about him…
Him talking you living his details away his facial expression when saying some words specifically his hand movements his way of sitting on the stairs his way of walking towards the car his way of just making some squeaky sounds saying some words his chuckle the sound of his laughter anythung to everything bout him you wanting to live every detail and somehow loving each one not knowing yet…
Like it was the same time around when he had started to drop you home too and this music sharing of his making you wait back under your apartment to listen and finish some track be it back then or even now people don’t get it just don’t get it you are not lonely you don’t want that pitty from them…..
Cause you are nothing about that life is not about having to spend your days your mornings your nights your random moments your special moments your bad days your good days your best self your worst self with anybody with somebody just because you have to it’s that need to spend it with someone you want to you know is your home feels like your home the one you know with this is it bas……
It’s your mind it’s your soul it’s your body it’s for that matter your skin as least as your skin that knows just knowsssss that one feeeeel it wants to be felt as and with…
It’s the way your heart feels like earlier there were times you used to sad and almost depressed but somehow with time and realising this simple fact of life and building your life around it…
You grew up literally!!!!!!
And finally!!!!!!
And for the times that you miss living him touching him hearing him holding him eating him is soon as you shut your eyes that pretty much well almost makes up for it…
It’s that fact of knowing you just can’t somewhere else someplace else somebody else you just can’t…
The wiring has been done and can’t be changed now…!
Like the insides of you also only strictly come alive with the slightest of him and howwwweeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!
Like it’s almost madness the waaaaaay the things slightest of him does away to you!!!!!!
Beautiful damage I say!!!!!!
Finalky there and meet her and stuff and talking to her mother and she sends you a text about some guy asking about you and was bringing the guy over and you lookup and there she was…..introduces the guy and the first thing the guy asks about is wasn’t it cri playing in your car as you got off…..and you just nod and introduces about name and what the guy does and stuff……her mom and she leaves leaving you with the guy and you looking around the guy talking about the concert and stuff and make the call excuse and walk out from there to the food counter asking for water…..
Grab the water and head out saying bye and stuff to her mom as she was busy with other guests and leave her a text and back on your way home…
The beauuuuuuuuuty of that complete moemnt is being slammed with moemnts like these and the waaaaaaaay they only make you realise how absolutely right you are on the path that you are…
It’s this feeeeeeeel charlie mom talking lecturing away stuff some or other saying same thing away it’s you alone that knows what it will all come down to…eventually it’s you that has to lead the life live the life with the person…..
It takes a lot to fight for something you truly absolute lfuckingly believe in with every ounce of you and it does take a lot of fighting to be precise…
And this thing HIM in your life is something you have been the only thing sure of in your life right from that very moment he walked d into your life regardless of his presence or absence as that has nothing to do with the waaaaay you strongly feeel for him…
Sex and all things casual is easy to step in it’s all out there but it takes that one thing in your life that makes you realise this is it…….like it’s your first and only but it’s that feeeeeeeeeewl charlie that rushed through you be it back then or now everytime you think of him…
Be it lovingly adoringly caringly possesively passionately sexually or just that need to hold him live him or just that need to hear him or make him sleep on your lap or feed him something like that thing of parental love or the zillion other forms and ways of love it only comes alive with and for HIM!!!!!!
Like andaraaa se only there’s that thing of need to be where you feel like it’s home and it’s always been Him…
Like there are ZILLUONNNNNNNNNNNNNNN feeeeeels you feeeeel away for him sometimes calmly sometimes VERY restlessly but it starts and ends there with him…apart from him there’s not a thing that you possibly feel otherwise like that thing bout feels is something comes and goes with him…other times you are just that plain numb!!!!!!
Like there’s no need or want to be some where else sharing that moment having that conversation looking up at the guy like it just doesn’t happen from within only it’s that numb like you knowwwwww……..
The second on your way home play the music again and there he was it’s like switch mode on and everything him mode on…..
And HOWWWWEEEEEE!!!!!
