Like you are still in a general mode he hasn't added you back but still some feeeeeeeels nai just can't help it!!!!!!
To just live him first thing in the mornings to mad rush moment at work now and pause it all and live him ayyyaaaaaaaa some feels can never grow used to!!!!!!!!
His face sound of his voice his details his nods his smiles every lil detail has always been LOOOOOOVE to you!!!!!!
This very moment this feeeeeel right now!!!!!!!!!!
Just woken up with some call from work n instead get on WhatsApp still in that himzone from dream n the first thing you see is HIM!!!!!!!!!
First initial excitement he is baaaackkkkkkkk!!!!
Next realisation you are still public viewing him n not added you kinda thing!!!!!!
But that one feeeeeel of waking upto to that one face in the world for you ignoring the rest of the facts in this moment PURE BLISS I say!!!!!!!!
Like u have noooooo idea the mood the zone the state of the mind right now!!!!!!!
Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa how only!!!!!!!!!!!!
Some days the mind and the mood is in a different time zone only!!
It's been one of those severe doses of nostalgia today like you've suddenly landed back in 2009 and living him away from back then.......like by the end of the day after a whole day of time travel the way this him now almost feels like a stranger except for the dream him...which is the him from today but in dreams with the same love for you still!!
As much as it sounds confusing writing it out it feels waaaaaay more co fusing inside your head especially after the today's dream....
Like the him fr today and the way he despises your presence is like he never loved you only!!
Like it's all in your head kinda vibe!!!!!!!
To the most loved moment where your heart every single time does this lil happy dance the Red Circle around him and soon as you see it in evening it's bout his work with his sister for the studio and when you watch it in some sceme thers your Aditya apartment in the background that clearly visible and that one constant thing everytime with his work, it has his hands on it kinda loooooove and pride that you are filled with every single time...
It's been a half day working day cause too many things to work on and yet with moments like these today this heart of yours zoned to all things him...
Like literally you were walking through 2009 today the mornings with him the evenings with him the late nights with him every lil detail rushing through you to the end of the day when your mom mentions bout if you would be doing your karva chauth this year too as it's on 26th mahashivrayri as it's been hectic and late nights at work and you just nod with a yes.......like ofcourse there's no if or maybe in that!!!!!
U don't even know if he still does over the years but something's nai they make you feel complete in a certain way and you just can't help but want to feel it that way that specific day and also look forward for that feeeeeeeel of him from this day every single year...in the strangest of ways it makes you feel closer to him this one day!!
It's been a weird mix of day with too many him high feels to maxest of lows strangely!!
It's still madness I know but some joys of the heart are just beyond reasoning or even you!!
Like it's not even upto you why or how or does make u happy for that moment away even before you live his story....
That one red circle circling away is like one lil dance of joy your heart does every single time......today some work of his sister bit before seeing it that one heart happy dance it does is just pure madness I say!!!!!
Sometimes nai u wish changing things n yourself was as easy for you too as it is for others when u miss him away like this....!
Have said it before can scream overa zillionnnnnn trillion godzilliaaaaan times more he is the ultimate HEART of your eyes and life I say!!!!!!!!
There's nothing absolutely in the world no other face place thing in the world that makes your eyes you feeeeeeeel all this away the waaaaaaaaaaaays he does...
Come back home just half an hour back been pretty hectic with late nights and the shoot tomo so much for Bombay you have no clue what's why's hows and yet!!!!!!!
And it's been one constant thing to see the most looooooved circle away knowing it's after long like you are trying various things in terms of holding your mind away but this one thing of living him away just can't I say!!!!!!
And the second you runnnnn for your mom's phone to see him ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaa that beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuty of him in that grey and black striped sexyyyyyyyyyy shirt looking all things delicious away!!!!!!!
To a zillion more memories rush through you as it was his friends rabias birthday from Bangalore days jute is cute...
This thing bout some memories no matter what you do the waaaaaaaaaaaaays they can make you feel away bringing a zillion more moments along is just something else!!!!!!!
To those few hours when you that thaaaaaaat bad wanted to see him the circle and couldn't cause of the block again reliving those few times you just could on WhatsApp and how lucky and howwwwweeeeeee happy that very lil thing also used to make you feel away and how you missed it today when at work and you couldn't !!
His Bangalore trip was to know learn what it was to miss him how it was to love him from a distance this very feeeeeeeel right now as you write and recall those lil lipoments from that trip of his!!!!!!!!!
Standing in the balcony right now looking up with that one question again, WHY!!!!!!!!
Was it too much to ask for!!
This mind right now reliving that deliciousness of him to the sound of his from Bangalore calls!!!!!!!!
Some moments like these I swear I SWEAR!!!!!!!!!!!
This beautiful echo of some promises on days like these!!
What come may I swear lately every year on the 14th Feb we are going to be together loving each other more than the previous year...
Some part of it remained a constant for life for you...!
Some days nai it hurts and hits that extra hard nai!!
Everytime you see yourself in a state like this his words always come along, I’m telling you I have your remote here with me……!
This story of his of whistling woods and too many memories too many conversations of his with his love for that place the way he would talk bout his team and stuff and you were just starting to love listening to somebody regardless of what they were saying it was just that loooooooove pure love for that one sound of voice the variations expressions of their voice the versions of his smile as he shared it away to just living his details away to today you wake up with this deliciousness of him again in the black shirt…
Now when he comes in that shirt ever since the block again there’s this weird lostness like you don’t know what to make of it or it’s just you now kinda logic to it now…….like it’s been weird lately even with the late night work schedules to Sunday work too now and yet there’s that weird calmness soon as you wake up in the morning post his dream…
Like you do this secs of self talk so after all it’s been your mind all this while then!!!!!! And that alone is good enough to make it all weirder and losterrrr for you!!
A working Sunday and just sometime back your mom showing some reel again and you again try to see him and there he was him in that black shirt his style ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that very second the heart of yours a zillion beats on one single second cause that’s how goegeousylyyyyyyyyyyyyyy delicious he looked him in that shirt lil lil daaaadi and that beauuuuty of him smiling just seeing him that way one huge wave of emotions all at once and HOW!!!!!!!!!!
Not yours to see you’ve been trying to self talk your mind out everytime you wake up with a dream of his…….like in your mind the block this time changed a lot of things away and yet it still all looks the same it’s that level of weirdness in your head now!!!!!!
And then of all days to live a moment of this magic this beautifully insync with your dream it almost felt like he came from Bombay to your dream wearing the same shirt that kind of continuity!!!!!!
Something’s you write and this feeeeel now!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How do youuuuu even!!!!!!!!!
With a face like that one with a HIM like that one!!!!!!!
How do youuuuuuuuuuuu evennnn!!!!!!
